B.E.T.H. - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am insane! I write short, dark stories, and I sing. I'm a daytime monkey who delights in irony and sarcasm, and likes archery, sword fighting, krumpin', keyboards, taiko, slurping sea urchin gonads, mahjong, drunken swimming, comic books, and collecting useless toys. I will try and try to make you laugh till things come out of your nose. I'm a proud member of the U.K. Apostrophe Protection Society. I am afraid of toilets and ostriches. Also, I've found it's helpful to pre-treat grass stains with warm water and vinegar.

My Interests

cemeteries, roses, dear friends, pomegranate, duraflame color logs, suebee, recurves and quivers, cacao, ahmad tea, pumpkins, doos, retired goths, stained glass, homero pomero, barcelona, ankimo, flying kites, zoe, robert parker coffin road, uni, paul klee, boston terriers, black eyeliner, portland, pine trees, the periodic table of elements, lamenting, eau de quatre reines, comics, preaching to the choir, fists, dÃa de los muertos, fall leaves, blacksmiths, unagi, moons of thundera, stickerbooks, fishing line, castles, sugar, cathedrals, firefighters, caterpillar guts, pocket shrines, the number 3

I'd like to meet:

Music lovers! HANDEL'S MESSIAH All Saints' Choir & Musica Angelica Baroque Orchestra; Wed. 12/13, 8:00 p.m., 504 N. Camden, Bev Hills!

Music:

Bela Bartok, Arnold SchÃ¶nberg, Tchaikovsky, Mozart, Anonymous 4, All Saints Choir, Morten Lauridsen, Planet Jazz, Ella Fitzgerald, Vince Guaraldi Trio, Stan Getz, Benny Goodman, Danny Elfman, NIN, Interpol, Jon Brion, BjÃ¶rk, the B-52's, Radiohead, Arcade Fire, Blur, Muse, Gogol Bordello, White Stripes, Matthew Sweet, The Moscow Coup Attempt, The Cure, Modest Mouse, Band of Horses, The Mars Volta, LCD Soundsystem, Brainiac, The Cramps, Editors

Movies:

Pee-Weeâ€™s Big Adventure, Amadeus, Punch-Drunk Love, The Birds, Fight Club, Bride of Frankenstein, Ghost World, Nightmare Before Christmas, An Inconvenient Truth, Spirited Away, Jacobâ€™s Ladder, Sideways, Ed Wood, The Passion of the Christ, The Crow, House of Usher, The Empire Strikes Back, Napoleon Dynamite, A Christmas Story, March of the Penguins, The Gold Rush, Beetlejuice, The Pit and the Pendulum, It's a Wonderful Life, Sherlock Jr., Eternal Sunshine, Schindler's List, The Cook The Thief His Wife and Her Lover

Television:

House M.D., Mystery!, Northern Exposure, Lost, Wonder Woman, Bones, Monty Pythonâ€™s Flying Circus, Cowboy Bebop, Six Feet Under, The Office (v. 1.0)

Books:

Chuck Palahniuk, Edgar Allan Poe, Ray Bradbury, Sylvia Plath, Charles Ogden, J.K. Rowling, Mark Haddon, Neil Gaiman, Beatrix Potter, Maurice Sendak

Heroes:

unselfish nice people

My Blog

Inner Defiance

We walk through a room full of crowded tables. As we pass, a woman pulls her child closer to her. Two elderly men almost choke on their Reuben sandwiches. Another woman actually gasps in horror. "We c...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 05:52:00 PST

Strawberry!

"Something's different about you today, isn't there?" I blushed, smiling to the floor. Celebrities are full of shit. "No, I mean it. New outfit? Wait, new haircut! New hair style?" Thirty minutes...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 04:56:00 PST

this is Halloween

"Buy before you die." That's our catchphrase. I think the idea is that we were killed when a mausoleum wall toppled over us, our whole vaudevillian mortician family in, oh, 1912. And we've bee...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Fri, 25 Aug 2006 03:30:00 PST

the lament of the harlequinette lost

Ever since my motorcycle accident, things have been very difficult for me. Not only did I have to get used to drinking my dinner through a straw, my wife left me. The woman who promise...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Sat, 05 Aug 2006 06:01:00 PST

office life

Beverly peered into the small, dark, cold office. "You wanted to see me?" Bob looked up from his thick glasses, and over the mound of paper on his desk. "Yes, Beverly, come in. Have a s...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Fri, 21 Jul 2006 06:15:00 PST

A game of catch

Randy hopped off the school bus, and thrust his hand deep into his left flannel pocket. "Yep, still there." "Hey, wait up!" Josh yelled, as he shoved kindergarteners out of his way. "Ran...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 06:06:00 PST

My first shiner

Okay, I've been bitch slapped, I've been pushed down a flight of stairs, I've had someone throw a twenty-five lbs. gilded page reference book at me from close range, I've been all-terrain scratched, I...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Fri, 30 Jun 2006 01:08:00 PST

Let your love light shine

July is a magical time for the firefly! I remember, living in Detroit as a child, we used to collect fireflies in a jar, and then sell them to local scientists for a penny each. How easy it would be...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Sat, 24 Jun 2006 05:02:00 PST

try the salsa

Dear Salsa: How have you been? Good to see you at my table again! Wow, it's been, what, going on four days now? It's just that I kind of enjoy writing little notes to you every night wi...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Wed, 21 Jun 2006 06:36:00 PST

The Fracas - part 2

"No," my voice squeaked. "This is not..." The sea lion slumped toward me ominously. I could see my reflection in its shiny, weepy black eyes. His nostrils opened, and he sniffed the clots of bl...
Posted by B.E.T.H. on Fri, 16 Jun 2006 11:49:00 PST