Funke Doremus

You Know You're From Rochester, NY When... The only thing at the annual May Lilac Festival is snow.The worst four-letter word you could say is "Fuji".You can't swim at the beach.You thought that you had figured out that alternate-parking thing, but wind up with a ticket anyway.Toronto is about 70 miles away, but it takes four hours to get there.The name "Greater Rochester International Airport" is bigger than the airport itself.There's an 800 number to report a pothole in the road.You know that a "Can of Worms" is not something that you take fishing. Your baby's first word is "Wegmans".You ask lifetime residents where the George Eastman House is, but they don't know either.In a city where it snows at least 90 inches a year, they build a new sports stadium with no roof on it.It can be 70 degrees one day, below freezing the next, and you think nothing of it.Your mother is buying outfits to wear to Wegmans.Your low-fat diet is never low enough to exclude an Abbott's custard.You order a white hot and a pop, and the counterman knows what you're talking about.You can travel from Egypt to Greece in about a half-hour by car.D&C is a newspaper, not a medical procedure.There are no hamburgers, only ground steak.You can go to any mall on a Saturday and see at least 5 people you either work with, went to school with or dated.A musical comes to town 10 years after its Broadway premier and the entire town goes nuts!You awaken from a deep sleep, look at the clock and see that it's 6:00, but you have no idea whether it's AM or PM.When 18+ inches of snow falls overnight, but you never thought of NOT going to work.You are perplexed when friends from other cities come to visit and want to "see the sights".In winter if the temperature hits 45 degrees and the sun comes out, people walk around downtown wearing shades and no jackets.There are places at the poles that seem to get more sunlight during the winter months than we do.Wegmans is somewhere to go on a Friday night, for entertainment.You know who Vinnie and Angelo are.You define summer as three months of bad sledding.You think that people from Pennsylvania have an accent.Halloween is snowed out with great regularity.You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh.Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack of Genny and a bucket of Buffalo wings.You believe that "down south" means Maryland.Your snowmobile, lawn mower and fishing boat all have big block Chevy engines.You can compare Nick Tahoe's garbage plate to at least 3 other knock-offs in competing restaurants.You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Rochester, NY.