PaRtY gUrL

You know your KOREAN when...You have a container full of Kim-Chee in your fridge right now. You or your parents start singing when drunk. Your parents are shorter than you. You call a korean older than you "Oppa/Hyung" or "Un Nee/Nuna" Your parents think church is a social event. "No-Rae-Bang" is a common household word. Your main source of income is New Years. Everyone asks if you're Chinese. Your parents think anything goes with rice. "Glue? Use rice, it?s better" Your mom rents korean soap operas and watches them daily. Sleeping on the floor is nothing new to you. Your parents yell your korean name REAL loud in public places. No matter how hard they try, your parents will never pronounce "wood" correctly. You think ramen is the fifth food group. You have to translate for your parents when ordering fast food. Your family owns a dry cleaning place, or grocery store. Your mother has a short haired, curly perm. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying your 12 when your really 14. You ask your parents help on your math homework and 2 hours later they're still lecturing you about how they knew it in 4th grade. You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry. You've had a bowl haircut in one part in your life. You've had to sit through karaoke videos with ugly asian women attempting to dance in a temple or park. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hotdogs. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors. You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah) every time someone calls you. Your parents insist you marry someone Korean. People see a bunch of scribble on chopsticks and ask you to translate. Your parents simply cut off the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway, it?s good for you." Your parents have either forced you to play the piano, violin, or both. You have rocks, sticks, leaves, deer antlers, and other strange smelling substances for medicine. Your parents read about some super nerd who has no life and got in the paper for scoring highest in the SAT?s and ask why you can't be more like him. When an Asian girl with a white guy (or vice versa) walks by, your parents STARE at them with their eyes popping out. When you go to buffets, your parents make you eat until you think you're going to hurl, and even after you do, they say, "good, eat more." Your parents never participated in the "American" traditions of Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. You'll say, "Where's Santa Claus?" and they'll reply, "Santa Claus! Ptch! He's dead!" And then you'll start crying. After you're get off the phone with someone from the opposite sex, your parents will start interrogating you about that person (except the last one). You'll talk to someone from the opposite sex two days in a row, and your parents immediately think there's something going on. You bring home straight As, and your parents say, "So? You're supposed to get that!" You're proud to be Korean!