Jägermeister

Way back in the seventh century, a young lad named Hubertus was envied for his purity (remember, this is only a legend). Theoderich of Burgundy was one of these jealous sorts, and so waged war against Hubertus and his uncle, Pipin (when was the last time you spoke to your Uncle Pipin?). By defeating Theoderich, Hubertus proved himself valiant in battle and dashing in a codpiece, and so won the hand of the beautiful princess, Floribana. Together they lived happily with the benefits of wealth, good fortune, and clear skin.