HUMAN CAVIAR - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm like, a fucking Power Ranger wielding garbage and stench. I like giving (va)giner shiners and eating sushi. I also enjoy palm trees and video games. Everyone is having babies and all I see myself doing in the next 20 years is developing a secret lab deep in the bowels of the earth where I tinker with the dead and glory in my collection of pickled animals in jars.

I want a DivaCup so bad! I was telling this to my boyfriend, and he replied, "Oh yeah, I'd totally drink out of one of those!" So then I busted out laughing, made him give me knuckles, and told him that if he was serious, he's totally hardcore. I explained to him that it's for menstrual blood and he exclaimed, "Oh! I thought it was like, a big pink cup with 'DIVA' written on it."

My Interests

Challenging people to duels and talkin' old timey-y, Roller derby, music, makin' shit, and other shit. Oh yeah, and I'm constantly searching for a pair of purple acid wash jeans. Someday, someday....

I'd like to meet:

Slutty girls with no self respect, because I'm always up for a good laugh. People who live far away that want to be my penpal, or just want to trade DIY stuff. Or any stuff. Oh, and also drag queens.
Also, I'm actually amazed at the number of people who try to add me, what with me being a low-life degenerate obsessed with vaginas and all.
So I guess, please don't try to add me without sending me a message or something. I really don't want to be someone's MySpace "I'm totally cool! Look-at-me-and-how-many-people-are-my-friends-because-I-am-s o-awesome-and-scene!!!1!1" fodder.

Music:

A long list of elite stuff that impresses you and makes you want to be my retarded internet friend.

Movies:

Slapstick, scifi, horror, indie, silent films. Mostly B horror flicks ala Troma.

Television:

I like those historical reality shows that they put on PBS. "WHO CAN MAKE IT LIVING IN THIS OLD TIME-Y BARN WEARING OLD TIME-Y CLOTHES? BILL MAKES MOONSHINE WHILE HIS WIFE TRIES TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MILK A GOAT!!!!"

Books:

I read as an escape. But, that does not necessarily mean it's a good literary escape. it's more like a "I'm a 14 year old wizard, look at me with my magic wand!" kind of an escape.

Heroes:

John Henry.

My Blog

Maybe Stacey is fun...

So I was at Hinkle a couple of weeks ago. I moseyed my way on down to the nickle arcade (because that's how I roll) to pay for my entrance. The chick sitting at the counter must've been like, 16 ...
Posted by HUMAN CAVIAR on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 10:21:00 PST

Get these motherfuckin' Decepticons off my motherfuckin' planet!

TRANSFORMERS AHHH THEY ARE MAKING A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE!!!! AHHHHH YES!!! P.S. SCREW SNAKES ON A PLANE!!! EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE SAMUEL L. JACKSON IS ALL, "I'M GONNA GET THESE SNAKES OUT ...
Posted by HUMAN CAVIAR on Fri, 25 Aug 2006 11:54:00 PST

Suicide Girls

Alright, so somebody posted this as a bulletin a few days ago: "Well SG is doing something new now where they sell content of archived girls. What is an archived girl you ask? Well an archived girl is...
Posted by HUMAN CAVIAR on Wed, 26 Apr 2006 11:23:00 PST

TEABAGGERS

Argh, fuckin' I can't believe how much cock gobblin', butt fuckin' teabaggin' asshole'n is going on. I hate all of you. I can't wait til I rip everyone's eyes out and piss in their sockets. Fuck, you...
Posted by HUMAN CAVIAR on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 11:57:00 PST

Eviscerated babies aren't usually in a good dream.

Oh man, so many nightmares. The other night I had this dream that I was in a class about pedophilia and had to take worksheets home on it. I guess I won't go into a lot of gory details, but there were...
Posted by HUMAN CAVIAR on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 10:34:00 PST