Tammy Lynn profile picture

Tammy Lynn

Tammy Lynn + Tom = TLA

About Me

Skinny (harharhar), popular, prom queen type. I live on the edge. Last week, I drove up next to a police officer, and when I looked over at him, I pushed up my glasses with my middle finger. I totally gave a cop the bird. Yeah, I'm that wild. I also ate twelve hotdogs in five minutes once. I spend all my time with my friends Pill and Trumpet, and have intellectual conversations while dining out. Most are the conversations consist of Pill accusing me of being cheap, but I don't care, because he's independently wealthy and needs to shut up. Some of us aren't born into money, or motivated enough to earn it. Don't judge me!

My Interests

Smelling my fingers after I scratch myself, imitating a walrus, frenching my own armpit, throwing away my dad's porno when he's not looking

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who is not repulsed by my appearance.

Music:

Fine Young Cannibals, Mister Mister, The Guess Who, Dar Williams, Johnny Rebel, The Cars, Toni Braxton, Boyz 2 Men, Nia Peeples

Movies:

I don't watch movies because I have a neurological disorder that is triggered with the blinking lights of the screen.

Television:

Same thing, I can't watch tv because it triggers my neurological disorder.

Books:

It's Raining Meatballs, Living to Eat, the White Pages, books on food, Anne Rice

Heroes:

Chris Farley, Dom DeLuise, John Goodman, Horatio Sanz, John Candy, Nell Carter, Mama Cass, Carnie Wilson, Al Roker, that fat chick from 'Heart', Aretha Franklin, Roseanne Barr, Rosie O'Donnell, Camryn Manheim, Linda Tripp, Rosemary Clooney, Shelley Winters, Johnathon Winters, George Wendt, Luciano Pavoratti, Jerry Lewis, Oprah Winfrey, Della Reese, Margaret Cho, Jabba the Hutt.

My Blog

Eating PUSSAAAY

I was recently confronted by a female coworker of mine at The Biz, who asked me if I would like to perform cunnalingus with her as the recipient.  I was completely floored.  First of all, I...
Posted by Tammy Lynn on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

annoying email of the day.

----------------- Original Message -----------------From: theDate: Jan 20, 2006 12:45 AM im not interested in talking to you.  you're boring.  your page is empty and you dont have a picture....
Posted by Tammy Lynn on Fri, 20 Jan 2006 12:48:00 PST

The problem with my secretions...

As most of you know, I secrete an acid that eats through pretty much every substance in existence.  I was very sad to throw away my nice Jordache jeans because they no longer had a crotch in them...
Posted by Tammy Lynn on Fri, 14 Oct 2005 01:34:00 PST

Need some advice please!

I had a date tonight, and oh, this one was a disaster. We have been chatting on Myspace, and when we met at the bar, he was...I hate to say it...a bit skinny. I didn't want to say anything, but whe...
Posted by Tammy Lynn on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I think I'm in LOVE!

From: tAMMy Date: Dec 13, 2004 10:24 PM Have you looked at me? I'm hideous! ------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------- From: Johnny Date: Dec 14, 20...
Posted by Tammy Lynn on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST