Mr. Creep profile picture

Mr. Creep

It Walked On My Pillow

About Me

I have a deep seeded fear of transsexuals and Algebra. I think exercise is probably a good thing. I know entirely too much about the show "Empty Nest." I like to go to Rock and Roll concerts and I have fun watching the home movies of my friend's childhood Christmas celebrations. Once I almost got arrested in Cuba. Did I mention I know a lot about "Empty Nest” I never got a Teddy Ruxpen or a Snoopy Snow Cone Maker. I am the only Jew in Arkansas. For 2 dollars I will call you and sing the entire "Charles in Charge" theme song. I was not invited to the Pope's Funeral. The town I was born in (Walla Walla, WA) is famous for onions and some girl from the "Real World" the town I was raised in (Jonesboro, AR) is famous for a school shooting. I have been told on several occasions by school teachers that I have enormous potential. I have successfully conquered my bed wetting problem.

My Interests

This American Life, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and Wikipedia.org

I'd like to meet:

Myself 32 years in the future. If I was ugly I would challenge my self to a fight to the death. The Ugly 57-year-old version of me would try and calm the studly 25-year-old me and invite me to have lunch. The 25-me would accept (I was raised with impeccable manners.) Ultimately the two me's would co-exist (both feeling really weird about masturbating) until the old me died.

Music:

Bob Dylan, Saturday Looks Good To Me, Mountain Goats, The Anniversary, Little Wings, Beach Boys, Mirah, Langhorne Slim, Magnetic Fields, The Ronettes, Jay-Z, TV on the Radio, Arlo Guthrie, Mates of State, The Zombies, The Misfits, The Who, Willie Nelson, The Get Up Kids, Aqueduct, Sunny Day Real Estate, The Band, Johnny Cash, The Faint, Two Gallants, Bad Religion, Jim Croce, Graham Smith, The Loved Ones (The Australian group), Pearl Jam, Fred Thomas, The Flaming Lips, The Pixies, Queen, The New Amsterdams, Cake, Tenaciuos D, Weezer, Need New Body, Hives, Ramones, Dolly Parton, Elliot Smith, Arcade Fire, Exploding Hearts, The Monks, Elvis Costello, Ratatat, Cat Stevens, Tilly and the Wall, Talking Heads,Red Hot Chili Peppers, Elvis Presley,(The International) Noise Conspiracy, Lou Reed, The Rentals, Guns N' Roses, Built to Spill

Movies:

Films:Being John Malkovich, Little Murders, The Royal Tenenbaums, Harold and Maude, High Fidelity, Fight Club, Magnolia, Tommy Boy, Airplane, Blazing Saddles, Three Kings, Quiz Show, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Life is Beautiful, Melvin Goes To Dinner, Pulp Fiction, Snatch, Waiting For Guffman, Office Space, In The Company Of Men & Any Films Which Make Me Feel Uncomfortable Like: Ken Park, Happiness, Storytelling, Chuck and Buck Documentaries: Hell House, Capturing the Friedmans, The War Room, Roger and Me, Style Wars, Mr. Death, The Fog Of War

Television:

Arrested Development, Mr. Show, The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart, Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien, Everything's Relative, The Simpsons, Sports Night, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Tenacious D, Working, Murphy Brown, The Critic, Saved By The Bell, Stella, Family Guy, The Upright Citizens Brigade, The Office

Books:

Kurt Vonnegut Jr, David Sedaris, Chuck Palahniuk, George Carlin, Edward Albee, Malcom Gladwell, Calvin Trillin

My Blog

I Never Thought I Would Be an Expert on Asian Penises

I just found this paper I wrote 3 years ago and it made me laugh so I thought I'd post it.   I Never Thought I Would Be an Expert on Asian Penises   Just inside the city limits of Pusan, Ko...
Posted by Mr. Creep on Tue, 22 May 2007 12:37:00 PST

You Too Loud

Right now somebody in close proximity to my apartment is absolutely blasting the song "One" by "U2".  It's so fucking loud that there is a distinct possibility that U2 might actual...
Posted by Mr. Creep on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 01:11:00 PST

Walk Don't Run

I have never considered myself a particularly clumsy person.  I don't exactly have the grace of a ballerina but I rarely find myself slipping on marbles or hitting my thumb with a hamme...
Posted by Mr. Creep on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 09:42:00 PST

Dear wikipedia.org

Dear wikipedia.org, You have taught me so much since I first was introduced to you during my Intro to Philosophy course in Fall of 2002.  Because of your existance I have wasted countless hours ...
Posted by Mr. Creep on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 03:39:00 PST

Jesus Didn't Burn The Cornbread But He Did Save Your Soul

Howdy & Good Tidings to All,   ..>This letter is to all of my fans, friends and the members of my family who are still on speaking terms with me. I am writing this from the backstage of the ...
Posted by Mr. Creep on Tue, 25 Oct 2005 09:14:00 PST