MY DAUGHTER: and selections from the journals for her...teasers from 'A Modern Adolescence' (by me)
Category: Writing and Poetry'Six years ago I began the first bathroom book. It was an idea, newborn and fresh. A beginning that had come from a desire and hope that I would, one day, be able to recover anything we had lost in the battle with your mother. A hope that in case life proved to be too much, in case I destroyed myself while waiting for the future; there would remain some record and proof of my motives, my hopes, my intentions to be a father that you would love and trust.' *********'He was sharp, and raised his tone accordingly, trying to display an assumed power over this woman he had met when he had been married, altering his life, her life, his own wife and daughter's lives - creating my life, possibilities and future. "It's there all in there woman! God dammit, I'm telling a story here!"
I remember the sentence, because I can clearly remember feeling relieved that he hadn't said he was telling a story to his son.' *********'I know that I never got to hold you while you fell asleep in my arms, hear all the first words, teach you to walk; and that is essentially my fault and I feel punished every day by those thoughts. But I choose not to be depressed and to use those feelings to motivate myself. I wear my mistakes as a shield and continue to try and do right by you. My desire, however, is greater than my means. I do not have the resources to have custody and raise you, I don't have any experience relating to a child, and I am increasingly frustrated by this opposition of motive and results…' *********I believe there is more to life than this; the things I did today, the conversation I had, the way we treat one another…I want to create this laterally, to layer it so you can discover and develop your own parable of what it means to be alive, to be here, to meet the people you meet and how you choose to love and hate. This is a holy gift, and I cannot force it on you, cannot really do anything but express what I have gained from music and art, laughter and writing and the people I had surrounded myself with…'
"I should like friendship with you...and trust. I should like that respect for each other that grows in the breast without the demands for the huddlings of sex."AND THESE FOUR, SOMEDAY -.. width="425" height="350" ....