Daddy's Little Douchebag profile picture

Daddy's Little Douchebag

I am here for Friends

About Me

A stuck up bitch that still hasn't met anyone she doesn't like.. I sell seashells by the sea shore.. An asshole in cunt's clothing, trying to be worth my weight in Gold.. I can take you where you want to go..And I totally hum while I am eating by myself

My Interests

"Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally" as life's motto..SASE's..Ted Nugent's teeth..20 foot dragons and a full laser show..Slippin' on banana peels..The idea that "A bad day fishin' is still better than the best day werkin'"..and also Manscape Art and kisses on the neck..

I'd like to meet:

Someone that wants to pay off my student loans because they "believe" in me.. Easy-going Sour Grapes and low maintenance Bad Apples..alcoholics, sluts, and someone that walks as fast as me, dirigible operators....you first, and then your cooler, hotter brother.Someone in Brooklyn that has an empty garage for me to park my car in (I miss it and I want it here now!).And a hot fisherman that wants live happily ever after with me in a houseboat in Costa Rica or maybe a farm in Scotland or an apartment in Wisconsin or a timeshare in Canada.and.....

Music:

These things may or may not be music to my ears: The slap of 7 ply to a cement curb..the heartbuzz of a hummingbird..the word "free"..the click of a light bulb's last breath..heavy riffs to catchy little ditties..striking of a match..chants of protest..the highheeled sounding clickety clack of men's dress shoes..the rumble of an engine..The lilliputian giving me a piece of her mind..various levels of skin to skin contact, from high fives to stemmin' roses..Alliteration..and the finality of the Death Rattle..

Movies:

Clash of theTitans, Cool as Ice, Serpent and the Rainbow, Little Otik, Bangin' in Little Rock, Cable Guy, Dark Crystal, Troop Beverly Hills

Television:

Television, I'm not sure, but I do know, a little about teleprompters and telephones and some stuff about x-ray vision, but I don't really get how it all might work together......

Books:

I don't want to tell you, because then you will know how smart I really am, and that would be embarrassing for both of us.

Heroes:

Bill Withers, Bill Murray, Ravishing Rick Rude,and your mom..my Mom,.. and whoever invented the Teleporter (it makes life so much easier, you rock!)..and oh yeah, Theo Huxtable

My Blog

Omlette,McDonalds,Twinkies,Raw Meat,Orea Cheesecake,ice cream,pizza hut..all in a day's work

Yesterday, 5AM, enroute to Drea's to pick her up for work, a seagull dropped a chicken bone (remnants of fried chicken) on the windshield of my car..does this mean anything? Am i gonna win the lottery...
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Thu, 11 May 2006 07:12:00 PST

Hello, I am here for my 9:00 appointment with Dr. Kevorkian

From here in out i will no longer bother with trying to capitalize my "i"'s. It just never works out for me in the end..after i have written a letter not much is ever spelled wrong but i have to go th...
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Wed, 26 Apr 2006 06:56:00 PST

The Lilliputian will ruin you with morning breath! (My 2 Cents)

I dream of people's heads on the bodies of vultures and peacocks with ruffled collars of renaissance stylings.. Awake I see anorexic vampires afraid to nourish their beings.. confidence in normality p...
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Sun, 29 Jan 2006 08:48:00 PST

Everybody needs a little devastation

The last couple of weeks have been  whirlwind of sorts, chock full 'o emotions from anger, sadness to delight. I haven't slept for more than 4 hours at at time and all my memories are such a blur...
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Wed, 16 Nov 2005 09:58:00 PST

Oh my fucking gawd!

Seriously..hell fucking yeah! Doyle rules..thank you Jerry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Tue, 18 Oct 2005 10:57:00 PST

I apologize in advance

Pet peeve of the morning:   People that impatiently push the >< (door close) button in the elevator after the door has already started to close..It is not like it is going to go into super...
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Tue, 20 Sep 2005 07:37:00 PST

I really don't think you understand..

I totally saw a ninja the other day..seriously! Dr.Dukes, Sheilds and I went to The Metropolitan the Saturday for free BBQ and not so free beer. Standing in line for the scrumptious weenie and burger ...
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Wed, 07 Sep 2005 07:20:00 PST

A typical morning in Bed-Stuy, AKA Westside Por Vida!

So there's this chubby hooker that works on the corner of my block, but don't think Julia Roberts..think chubby 16 year old girl (although she is probably closer to my age) wearing some sort of dirty ...
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Sat, 13 Aug 2005 07:46:00 PST

I am so sick

..of everyone talking about how the television is evil and how it brainwashes you, that is such a weak cop out for people's lack of control and motivation. 
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

My current state of affairs

My Grandmother just told me that I was a pain in the pee hole..as if that was a much  more censored version of saying ass. Her verbal creativity never ceases to amaze me....aannnnd they just foun...
Posted by Daddy's Little Douchebag on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST