Okay, here we go again. Time to update my profile. I still have my typist that I pay by the hour, but it's by sexual favors--we've progressed. Wait hold on a second he's about to cum....ok now we can concentrate, Yes, my life is really really sad. I'm on a budget, y'know? A guys gotta do what a guys gotta do. So my typist/therapist is telling me that I should write a profile that is A Day in the Life of me (John the Great)...yes, that is a bit dilusional, but we all need to entertain ourselves somehow.
So I guess not much has changed. I still like to engorge myself with cheese and cigarettes. I'm in the process of TRYING to quit smoking, but I'll be damned if I give up cheese. I'd like to say that I go out a lot and I'm an "old regular at some cool place" but i'm not. I'm ((( this close ))) to becoming a spinster with fourteen cats that i'm severely allergic to.
I'm a hairstylist. I love what I do. I like to paint (usually fucked-up portraits) sometimes I write on them...I don't know why, I just do. Things like Alanis Morisette quotes, which makes me even more pathetic and un-layable. By the way, I like sipping Pina Coladas and walks in the rain. I'm not into yoga but i'm into champagne (wait, I actually like yoga and I don't drink) but whatever.
I've been made acutely aware since my last profile that I look like a total dick everywhere I go. I hang out with my friends and everyone talks to them and there I am with my thumb up my ass going "why doesn't anyone talk to me?" and my friends respond "because you look like an arrogant asshole." Okay, I'm sorry if I don't walk up to people and lick their balls if I want to talk to them. I will, on the other hand, say "hello" and the response I get is, "uh....yeah, hi..." as they walk away...
I have a terribly inappropriate sense of humor that offends my friends on certain occasions--which i'm trying to control but it's like keeping a horse from water or keeping a lion from killing it's prey (I am a Leo you know)...it's just not natural. But i'm sure with a few [more] years of therapy I'll be able to fix this character defect. Yes, I said therapy. I have no shame in that. I'm owning it! I live in New York for christsakes. I run into my friends on the street and ask them if they want to get a cup of coffee and they say, "actually i'm on my way to see my therapist" ...so why not say it on my myspace page?
"Family" - I love them to death, and sometimes I really want to love them -to death- because they are a bunch of crazy screaming italians for the most part. Which means YES I am 100% Italian from New Jersey, which in some ~creepy~ way turns people on. I don't get it, but whatever tickles your pickle...who am I to judge? I have a niece and nephew that I could talk about like an obnoxious uncle for hours. My nephew is a spitting image of my brother. He's sweet and caring and affectionate and just lovely. My niece, on the other hand, I think is in training to become the next Madonna. She's 5 years old and uses words like "contemplating" and "consultation" and has expressed to me whether or not she wants her hair "red" or "reddish brown" and says things like this: "Uncle Johnny? Is "plum" in the red family?" Oh my god. She wears dangly earrings which she could not put in when we bought them for her because she was so excited. She told us she had to wait a minute to go in the parlor to take cleansing breaths before she put them in, which she did and told us "I'm not ready yet, calm down guys..." How can you respond to that? She's a 40 year old freak trapped in a 5 year old body. She kinda reminds me of myself when I was a kid, which is a little scary. For everyone. Okay, I guess I did just babel like an freaky unkle, If you don't like it you can just fuck off. Let's move on shall we.
I still hate when people say LOL and OMG or any of those annoying acronyms on the computer. My typist just looked up acronyms on google to make sure that I don't look like a complete idiot because I'm dyslexic and sometimes use words incorrectly. So don't be shocked if I misspell something if I message you back. This is all fake. SMOKE and MIRRORS...kinda like most of my pictures. But whatareyagonnado?
I'm still not drinking or partying, which doesn't mean I'm boring, it means that I'm crazier than you can ever imagine. So I still go out and dance and blah blahblhlblah on occasion.
I'm still obsessed with Patricia Arquette and right now I'm a little freaked out about how fast my typist is typing. It means he's online way too much.
"I guess that's it, right?" Who the hell knows!!?If anyone wants to post a comment, if I missed anything-go right ahead. I'm always open to suggestions - even if they are a little kinky. That's it. Hugs n' kisses. (notice: not XOXO) oh, and (I really don't say hugs n kisses, just wanted to throw an example in there...see that's not so hard.) Okay, i'm gonna go puke up what I ate for dinner. Gotta stay trim-and completely hairless-If you're gay-in New York-or else you'll be exiled for eating carbs. So after I throw up, I'm gonna shave my tongue, leg hair, pubic hair, chest hair and anything that could possibly make a man masculine...just so I can fit in. Shit. I had a piece of bread, two days ago. It's okay, I've gone to confession four times since then..and by confession I mean "The Gym."
Oh yeah and I belch a lot. Doh!
Click Here for MySpace Layouts, Graphics, & Codes!
MySpace Layouts
MySpace Graphics
MySpace Generators
This awesome MySpace Layout is from: ProfileMods.comBackground By Profile Mods
