maggie j allen profile picture

maggie j allen

Me-nited Kingdom?

About Me

I'm just white. I'm not actually from Caucasia.I may be growing tusks; it's too early to tell.

My Interests

shit-stirring; collecting British types on MySpace; moustaches; leprechauns; bees; pumpkins; pre-decimal currency; monarch butterflies; ukuleles; sharpening pencils; world record attempts at giant food; cricket; baseball... baseball players... baseball players with moustaches; ruining the end of Passion of the Christ for those who haven't seen it (he dies)

adopt your own virtual pet!

Create your own visitor map!

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who can show me how to properly knock in a cricket bat. People who like tusks (Fleetwood Mac need not apply).I'd also take any of these chaps:

These are good too:

But most of all I want this one

Music:

David Coverdale's Wife... what? Oh, sorry, Cronenberg.

Movies:

Leprechaun; Orca; Big Trouble in Little China; anything with Terry-Thomas; Alec Guinness is the best ever.

Television:

Brisco County Jr. and Old Spice ads

Books:

More Henry Fielding, less Helen

Heroes:

Mrs. Doyle, Olive Hoover, Doris Day, Orca: the Killer Whale, Elizabeth II, Sue Lorenz, Killer Nightengale,the 1983 Royals:

...and this guy

My Blog

What to do if you find yourself attracted to Jamie Oliver

Perhaps this matter should have been addressed five years ago. But, honestly, I never thought it would go this far. It just seemed like a matter of time before the public would begin to see the light....
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 05:26:00 PST

Four Friends

I am posting this here because it's not a fucking bulletin! Do You Really Know Your Top 4 Friends?Who are they?1. Brits2. HM QE2 "Lillybet"3. HP Sauce4. MarmiteWho is Blood related to you?[x] One  we...
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Wed, 02 May 2007 09:43:00 PST

I brought sexy back

  ...and then I fucked it.        
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 05:37:00 PST

Man on radio claims April to be National Humor Month

  Fuck off.          
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 05:54:00 PST

Ears of CORN!

    Hey, kiddos. If you were looking for some fucking nonsense to listen to, my latest installment of Corn on the Macabre: the Podcast has gone live.   Put some corn in your ...
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 11:27:00 PST

Sarpents!

Here is the stained glass window I've designed to celebrate the holy day that is upon us. A grand Staint Patrick's day to you all! ...
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 02:22:00 PST

Corn on the Macabre: Inaugural Podcast!

  Is it shameless self-promotion? Definitely. Do I care? Not one bit.   Corn on the Macabre the podcast (audio companion to my world famous blog) has gone live with its first episode titled...
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 10:23:00 PST

Oscar preview podcast

If you wanna listen to a slightly tipsy Maggie make some lame, ill-informed Oscar predictions with loads of swearing and other offensive material you should go here: http://www.lawrence.com/podcasts/...
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Thu, 22 Feb 2007 12:42:00 PST

New corn!

Wanna read my newest blog? Go here: CORN ON THE MACABRE. Why should Murdoch benefit from my genuis when Lawrence.com needs me? Thanks, Mags...
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Mon, 20 Nov 2006 09:13:00 PST

independence

This week, we celebrated the birth of our great nation and with that our independence. To fully appreciate the liberty imparted to its citizens, it is necessary to reflect upon how far we have come; t...
Posted by Maggie Cougar Dynamite on Fri, 07 Jul 2006 01:18:00 PST