Little Annie Opeth profile picture

Little Annie Opeth

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me



I am an A.C.E. certified fitness instructor and also certified in sports nutrition through I.S.S.A. My newest certification is in Active Metabolic Testing through New Leaf. That is a phenomenal system!! Most of my interests run along this path. My other addiction is music.Turn on's: Instilling fear and tininess in people; great balls of iron; heavy breathing and sweating; great balls of chocolate...um...let's be real...LINDOR...DAMN IT, HANS!!!!; inflatable green boobies; diligent avoidance of the "suck" button; TEAM AMERICA; John Opeth..."Heeeyyyy"; delightful vodka cocktails; food, wine and all things sunshine and happy horseshit; coffee...BIG TIME; crawling into bed with fresh lavendar-scented sheets and an extra foofy featherbed; sleeping in once in a while; oatmeal pancakes on Saturday mornings (here's your pancakes, bitches!); spaghetti and meatballs; cheese (grated, shredded, sliced, melted or otherwise); Saturday mornings when I don't have to work; the smell of the hills outside my house after it rains; garlic bread; laying in a warm bed when it's cold; waking up next to a cat posing as a motorized meatloaf; clients that show up, eat right, work hard and actually LOSE BODY FAT; the smell of the clothersg...SHIT!...cothes...CRAP...clothes dryer vent...*heavy sigh*...I GOTTA PEE...Turn off's: Laziness; alternative pop music (Three Doors Down, Third Eye Blind, Seven Mary Three, 311...see a pattern lacking in originality here??); mouth breathers; painfully slow drivers; shit talkers; screaming babies and toddlers on airplanes; self-important cell phone conversations in gyms (shut up and train or leave, beaatch!); whirly twirly hippie dancers at concerts and in gyms; reality shows; political correctness; strippers claiming to be "dancers" who have never actually studied the art of real dance; belly shirts on anyone over a size 8; pregnant women in belly shirts (ew!); Volvo station wagons; hissy fit temper tantrums; people who refuse to use their turn signals; patchouli; mullets; people who don't like cats; those retarded "thanks for the add" glittery, fruity-ass messages people put in each other's MySpace comments; married dudes on MySpace hitting on single chicks...AS IF!!! Rap music; Ugg boots with dresses...WTF??
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My Interests

OK kids, gather 'round!! Time for ya'll to get a good dose of John Wesley tunes. Here are some of my favorites. Enjoy!!..
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I'd like to meet:

Anyone who has mastered the difficult skill of using a turn signal. Smilin' Bob is a rather fascinating guy. I'd really love to meet Pavel Tsatsouline, the master of all things Russian kettlebell. It is also imperative that I meet The Gingers some day. I have my reasons. Click here to comment!

Fear of a Blank Planet

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Music:

Porcupine Tree, Opeth, Anathema, Rush, Pink Floyd, Antimatter, The Gathering, Katatonia, Led Zeppelin, The Who, early Stones, John Wesley, The Mermen (cool instrumental surf tunes!), Gary Hoey, Sky Cries Mary, Black Sabbath, Blackfield, Crosby Stills Nash, Neil Young, Djam Karet (way cool instrumental indie band!), Tool, early AC/DC (Bon Scott era), Soundgarden, King Crimson, Dream Theater, Liquid Tension Experiment, Heart, Queen, Queensryche, Supertramp, The Crystal Method, Thievery Corporation, Tosca, Banco de Gaia, Nortec Collective, Richard Barbieri, Incredible Expanding Mindfuck...pretty much anything Steven Wilson, Steve Stevens, Steve Vai, Steve Hackett, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Derek Trucks Band, Gov't Mule, Pancho Sanchez, Sidestepper, Buena Vista Social Club, Sting, Morrissey, Perfect Circle, early ZZ Top, Zero 7, Alice In Chains, Ian Moore, Robin Trower, Deep Purple, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, The Doors, OSI, Allman Brothers, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Karl Denson, Galactic, Soulive, Norah Jones, Cadillac Tramps, Reverend Horton Heat, let us not forget Steely Dan...pretty much anything BUT country, rap a.k.a. crap, hip hop, or that trancey dance slop that seems to come straight off the assembly line from the shite factory and any sticky sweet top 40 crapola. Man, I hate that stuff! Am I clear?? Oh ya...and I can't stand any 5th generation ripoff of Pearl Jam or Nirvana (i.e. Creed). I prefer music for grown-ups.

Movies:

Not a huge movie-goer but I think Team America is worth it's weight in hilarity. "Spinal Tap" has got to be one of the top movies on my all time favorite list. The foil-wrapped cucumber in the airport nearly caused my demise from laughing to death. Braveheart was a fine piece of work (was Mel Gibson a whackjob back then, ya think?). I finally saw "300" and LOVED it. I enjoy an occasional documentary. I love the subject of FBI cold cases, murder and mayhem and other good old-fashioned family entertainment. I also enjoy documentaries about bands. I thoroughly enjoyed "Lamentations", the Opeth documentary. It was fun to watch Opeth interact with Steven Wilson. Together they make a lethal combo of brilliance and talent. Let us not forget Natural Born Killers..."Are you flirtin' with me?" "Ooo, you're so...specific." "How ya like me NOW?" *wistful sigh*...ya gotta love Mickey and Mallory. I recently watched David Lynch's "Wild At Heart" which I totally loved. I think I'm going to need an "Eraserhead" fix sometime soon. I guess I should say that I'm a fan of his films as well. Mulholland Dr., Blue Velvet...I could go on. These films are great for watching over and over again. Good guy, that David Lynch. I'll get into any movie with an Italian mafia theme too. I guess I like crime...

Television:

South Park, Dave Chappelle, The Simpsons, Family Guy, The Shield, The Sopranos, etc. I still like cartoons at my age...is that bad? Oh yeah...cooking shows...can't get enough of that stuff!! I also love watching shows about hauntings, serial killers and the mafia. I like the creepy stuff, ahhhight???

Books:

Anything to do with fitness training methodologies, nutrition or any cookbook. Sorry all...no time or interest in cheesy romance novels or magazines with naked dudes. If I'm going to read, I'd better be learning something new. I know...that's no fun.

Heroes:

My nephew who made it through three tours in Iraq and made it to sargeant before leaving the army. My friend Rhonda who currently fights a different kind of battle: cancer, for the third time. She's a warrior. My friend, Cheree who is also fighting that same demon. She's kicking ass!! Anyone with "warrior" status can be deemed a hero. My mom and dad for giving all five of us kids a stable, two parent home with lots of love and proper discipline. They rule!! They celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last year!! They still like each other too...talk about heros! My nutritionist, Matt Mahowald, is a hero to me as well. He changed my body and my life...all for the better! He continues to do so. Check out his philosophies on nutrition at

My Blog

Ya Know What?

If I get ONE MORE friend request from someone who is into "multi-level sales" a.k.a. pyramid scheming, I'm going to start throwing things.  Honestly, people.  Leave me the f*** alone.  ...
Posted by Little Annie Opeth on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 06:31:00 PST

The word of the day is...

..."KNACKERED"...It's safe to say that it's been many moons since I've taken any time to blog about anything.  The truth is, folks...I got nuttin' to talk about most of the time.  One might ...
Posted by Little Annie Opeth on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 09:36:00 PST

Advice For Gym Goers

OK, it's time for me to get a few things off my chest.  I go into the gym just about every day and witness some sort of heinous social crime nearly every time.  One might even consider me a ...
Posted by Little Annie Opeth on Tue, 28 Mar 2006 03:43:00 PST