Oktane profile picture

Oktane

we do what we do to get by.

About Me


they call me Oktane.
i'll make you go the extra mile.

I've been called every name in the book.
the only thing you can't call me is
YOURS.
i only remember your name if you have a pretty face.

i daydream.
i sing at the top of my lungs (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
i keep secrets.
i like boys with long hair and tattoos.
i get excited over little things.
chances are i'm laughing with at you.
i have a really bad habit of calling people out on their shit.
i swear i'm not lost.
i just don't know where i'm going yet.

i've been around the block.
some people don't have anything good to say about me.
people are always gonna talk.
might as well give them something to talk about.
;-)

I promote for: Toxic Vision, Jean Marie Designz, Lawless Ambition and Youngblood Couture.
i'll sell your shit.
SEND ME YOUR CLOTHES!

My Interests

Saying Hello.
The X-games.
Crappy Art.
Dead Books.
Things that scare your family.
Good Music.
Shitty Music.
Any music.
Anything Real.
Motorcycles.
Eyeliner.
Lava Lamps.
Not Being the Lady I Was Brought Up As.
Glitter.
Eighties Shit.
Instant Gratification.
Concerts.
Heartagrams.
New People.
Trampolines.
Tattoos.
Highlights.
Low Days.
Other Languages.
Squishy Beds.
Pictures.
Beautiful Days.
Different Places.
Chocolate Cake.
The Ocean.
Riding My Board.
Driving.
Stealing Guys Clothes.
Lost Friends.
Vampires.
Plaid stuff.
Parties.
Stolen Kisses.
Rock and Roll.
Rain Boots.
Piercings.
Nights I Can't Remember.
The Spanish Inquisition.
Hugs.
My Cousins.
Counter Cultures.
Getting a Life.
Santa.
Canoeing.
Smoking.
Coffee.
Analog.
Bass.
Dancing.
Poker.
Rescuing People.
Being Excited about little things.
Burrittos.
Road Trips to No Where for Concerts.
Hoodies.
Ville Valo.
Spanish accents.
Anti-Superficiality.
Dreaming.
Where We're Going.
My Own Culture.
Saying Goodbye.

I'd like to meet:

people WILL judge me for the things i do in life.
i've accepted this and continue to love my life.
if you can love without fear, i want to meet you.

this is my pistol.
he will only love me.

brass knuckled baby...

Music:

music's pretty alright sometimes, i guess.
i listen to everything.
EVERYTHING.
well. not everything.
but close enough.

Books:

...and for a moment, we were infinite

Heroes:



i love these three ladies more than life itself.
they're the breast.

the tits.
I love my mom.
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.
For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!
I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.
I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy. Kurt Cobain

My Blog

attention all shoppers

please report to the customer service desk to claim your lost child/watch/wallet/dildo/kangaroo/dream catcher/picasso/shoe. attention all concert patrons, crowd surfing is not allowed and you will be...
Posted by Oktane on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:52:00 PST

Juneau what I mean, esse?

So, it's official. Pepique and I have decided that we're moving to Juneau. Now for a bit of clarification in addition to my bulletin. Even though I'm moving far, far away, it's not like I'm never comi...
Posted by Oktane on Sun, 10 Aug 2008 01:53:00 PST

what am i doing the night before i leave for new york???

watching american idol lusting over this kid: totally gorgeous. haha. i'll be in new york for the next five days, so i love you all and i'll see you when i get back :) xo...
Posted by Oktane on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 07:55:00 PST

ps to my last blog...

these are my two long lost uncles: and my long lost aunt:   finally, i think this is my sister who i try to emmulate at every given possible point: ...
Posted by Oktane on Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:54:00 PST

i’m pretty sure

this is my long lost mother: and this is my long lost father: input?...
Posted by Oktane on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 02:22:00 PST

boooordem

1. How many people have you kissed since new years?no. 2. What is today's date?nine days before i go to new york. 3. What are you doing this weekend?well i have your mom penciled in on saturday around...
Posted by Oktane on Mon, 04 Feb 2008 01:05:00 PST

mother, should i trust the government?

I posted this as a bulletin earlier, but my blogs get out better than my bulletins do. http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/ definitely not for those who are afraid to challenge what they believe... ESPECIA...
Posted by Oktane on Sun, 27 Jan 2008 12:41:00 PST

come and let me show you my tattoo

On my way to work today, i heard THIS fabulous song on the radio and felt i should share it (ha!), cause it's AWESOME and i love it to death and it kinda describes me, but unfortunately no one has it ...
Posted by Oktane on Mon, 07 Jan 2008 02:54:00 PST

i love my friends

Yup, actual conversation. hahaha. my life is awesome Me: what's goin on kid?Kwags: not a lotKwags: i think i'm going to go attempt to find some jeansKwags: which sounds painfulKwags: but needs to be d...
Posted by Oktane on Mon, 12 Nov 2007 12:27:00 PST

the only political message i will ever post

aside from reminding people to vote:
Posted by Oktane on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 02:46:00 PST