A Survey for Pets!
What type of pet are you? High Maintenance
What is your name? Samson Copernicus Swartz
What other nicknames do you have? Smartacus, Smarty Jones, Pissy, Shitty.
What is your favorite treat? Prime Rib
What would your owner describe you as? Asshole.
What is the funniest thing you have done? The cops said I needed a muzzle cuz I barked all day long, then I ate a pack of hot dog rolls and a POUND OF BUTTER with my muzzle on.
What is the bravest thing you have done? I ran downstairs into the middle of trafic and got hit by an SUV
Yes or No
Are you neutered? Is it true that if you dont use it you lose it?
Are you a social animal? Absolutely
Are you always doing something bad when nobody is looking? ALWAYS
Are you friendly? Of course
Are you overweight? Glutton
Do you like warm milk? If there's beef in it.
Do you eat cheese? I catch provolone frisbees.
Do you eat bugs? I treat a bug like 7Up, I never have, I never will.
Do you live with other animals? Unfortunately. Two pussies.
Do you like being in the house more than being outside? F*ck no
Do you like to exercise? Of course
Do you like car rides? Of course
Do you get into stuff? Whateva. I do what I want.
Do you get along with your mommy or daddy? On good days
Do you like to swim? Yes.
Do you chase laser pen dots? Like it was my job.
And finally, Do you love your mommy or daddy? Fo Shizzle.
Poop.