TEXAS ez

If you can't tell, I'm a severe Texas Longhorn nut! HOOK'EM HORNS!!! Proud to be a resident of the GREAT STATE of TEXAS! Moreover than showing my fanaticism, I would like to share with you a little of my background. I was born in Texarkana & have lived here all of my life, with the exception of four years that I was enlisted in the Navy. When I was very young, I remember my mom and father throwing parties at our house while I stayed at my maw maw’s house next door. He played in a band that played at bars and clubs until the wee hours of the morning. They were in the party scene. I remember him and mom having a fight on the couch one day and the next thing I knew, he wasn't around anymore. Shortly afterwards, we moved in with maw maw and my other aunts and cousins. It was here that I developed my appreciation for sports, as my older cousins would pound me in boxing, football, and whatever else. We lived this way for years. As we grew older, my cousins taught me about drinking and fooling around with girls as a night time hobby. Our parents would have a local church van pick us up on Sundays, but when we got there, all we would do was play and get into trouble. Eventually, mom married my step dad, to whom she is still married. At first, we lived around the corner from my family, but then he moved us into the country. Away from everything I knew. I resented that move for a long time and was very disrespectful. I started going to a new school where I would be in trouble all the time as compared to my old school where I would participate and place in academic contests. My step grandmother worked the nursery at a church and I would go with her so I could cut up and clown just like I used to at the old church. It was all about laughs, giggles, and girls. But since I was older now, my mind would drift to what the preacher was saying from time to time. I remember there was this one sermon where he said that there is no 50/50. He said, "You can't be in Jesus Christ and be in the world (devoted to worldly pursuits instead of living for God’s glory) at the same time." What? No drinking! No making out with girls! None of the music I liked! Sure, I got into a little trouble, but it wasn't like I was committing murder or raping or something like that! I thought he had it twisted, and that I could be cool and have Christ at the same time. These old church fuddy duddies just didn't know how to get it done. Then I went back to church pew laughing and giggling. Because of my inclination towards sports, I enrolled in football and would excel at it beyond my high school years. It was through football that I met my best friend with whom I am still very good friends to this day. We would be loners in high school, because we didn't believe too much into stereotypes and liked doing our own thing. He didn't get along too much with his dad, so we would hang out a lot and be up to no good. After high school, for years our agenda would be go to work during the day and party all night. This was the life. However, I had always been intrigued about going into the military and then one day, something made my mind up for me. The movie, "Navy Seals" came out and I was sold. That's what I was going to do, so I enlisted and was off to boot camp in Orlando, FL. From there I continued my training in Meridian, MS, was stationed for some time in Pascagoula, MS, and eventually went on to my permanent duty station in Norfolk, VA aboard the USS Kearsarge (LHD 3). We made a Mediterranean cruise and went to France, Spain, Italy, and Greece just to name a few. But something inside me said that one term (4 years) of this was good enough for me. So I got out and my life started going down hill in a hurry. I had played some semi pro football in Virginia and was working out to go to a Dallas Cowboy combine, but I got caught up with my old friends and started partying. The next thing I knew was my jobs couldn't keep up with my partying. I got hooked on all kinds of drugs and was hanging around some of my old gang banging boys from back in the day. I was in different relationships, but this one girl and I decided to move in together because we had fun with each other and we partied like everyday was our birthday. We would break up then get back together then break up, and do that whole drama thing. It was funny because all the time we were together, we talked about having a kid, but we couldn't even take care of ourselves. Anyway, the partying kept going on and we picked up new friends along the way who would party with us and make change with us, evening into morning; sometimes morning for morning. However, one night came that would be the end to this lifestyle. We had come up on a squad of money and decided we were going to go all out on party "supplies" (dope, alcohol, etc.). So some of our close friends came over and we got loaded. I had taken all kinds of pills and was drinking large volumes of alcohol and smoking major quantities of weed, which is what I was known for. We were having a blast. That is until I felt this urge to go throw up. So I made my way through the smoke filled house. With everybody's conversation and the music as loud as it could have possibly been, it was all muffled because the only thing I could truly hear was myself now. I displayed my state of mind and lack of care by staggering into the bathroom without even attempting to close the door. I fell down before the toilet and lifted up the lid for the soon to be agony, but I found there was one problem: I could not throw up. It was confusing because this was my whole purpose for being in there. I tried and tried, but nothing happened. Then it hit me that I had nothing to eat all day that day and that there was nothing to throw up. When I surveyed myself again to see if I was truly sick, a different feeling came about. It dawned on me that something was wanting to leave my body, but it wasn't food or stomach acid. I felt that it was my spirit, and simultaneously, I felt my body starting to go numb. Could've been the high from the drugs, right? Nah. I had been doing drugs for awhile at that time and I knew the difference between being "lifted" (high) and this thing that I was feeling. It hit me that I was overdosing. All of my life I had questioned its purpose, but as I laid weak on that bathroom floor, I could hear what it was not supposed to be. Though slightly muffled, I heard the gangster rap music speaking of murder and abuse of others at all costs to obtain riches and stature. I could hear the conversations between those partying about how disrespectful of other's feelings they had once been or were currently. As I continued to lay there lethargic, purpose was starting to avail itself to me. Everything that was going on in the other rooms was nothing less than pure evil and wickedness, I thought. Even worse, I had seen the alcohol, the drugs and music for what they really are. Poison by the devil to damage, in one way or another, the beautiful creations of our Father: his children. At that second, something else impacted me so hard, it took my breath away. It was the realization of Jesus’ purpose. Because everybody has sinned at least one sin, there's no hope for entering heaven in the presence of a perfect God. But rather than let us continue on our destination to hell, God sent His son. He was all God & all man, making Him the perfect sacrifice for us who deserved hell. He took on all the sins of everybody who has lived, living, and will ever live so the Father can be around His children forever. It was up to us to accept that perfect sacrifice or to be held accountable ourselves for the sins we have committed. Then I started thinking about the 50/50 sermon from my past and I could see how it was to be that we are to die to our former selves, have a renewing of the mind, and represent for Christ 100% of the time. I could see the purpose behind witnessing in that He wants his children to do His work, because that's the biggest miracle of all is when someone turns from all the fleshly desires that the "world" has to offer and spend time showing others the joy and peace that Jesus has given us. At that particular time, I told the Father that I had misused the gift of life that He had given me and I accepted Jesus as my substitute for eternal death. I asked that if He would give me another chance, I would try to give Him a pleasant life offering. I also told Him over and over how stupid I had been and how much I loved Him for first loving me. I could feel the joy of Jesus through the Holy Spirit in me telling me it was time to live now. I managed to pull myself up with the help of the toilet and started to move around from a slow to a rapid pace to get my blood circulating. Eventually, I came out of the bathroom and told my girlfriend that things were going to be different and asked if she was down for the change. She said yes. I then went and told everybody that the party is over for good and I proceeded to throw away all of my cd's, drugs, porn and any other movie or thing that was not edifying the Father. That next morning when we woke up, I asked my girlfriend to marry me and she said yes. We got dressed and went to the Justice of the Peace and got married. She has been my wife for over seven years now. Not even a year afterwards, the Father blessed us with a son and we named him Immanuel, which is one of Jesus' many names and it means "God is with us." At one point in time I thought we were in charge of our destinies. But now I know that if we submit ourselves to our Father’s will, He will supply the desires of our heart. Amen.As for why I'm here on myspace.I'm here to enjoy fellowship with one another and build up God and you (whoever you may be). Forgive me if I don't engage in conversation about sex, drinking, fighting, backbiting, gossiping or anything else that can be considered so much as a hint of expressing ill will towards another human being or our heavenly Father. I've realized in my life that this type of behavior has made me a PUNK in the past, and whether you know it or not, it does the same for you too. Also, I'm not a theologian and the Father didn't intend on making me one. So if you found out that "Jesus' two big toe nails were ingrown, meaning that there is no possible way that he could've been who he said he was" and want to know my stinking two cents to try to get you to follow him, in which you have already made up your mind that you're not doing, then I'm not the one! I didn't sign up for the Christian obstacle course. HOWEVER, I am here for the person who has just lost a loved one, the marriage that is failing, the grandmother who doesn't know how to get formula for her grandchild who is starving, the person who is ashamed of their addiction, and the one who says I don't have to die to go to hell, because it's already here. It's these people and others who I'm here for and to show them a better way and a better day through our mighty Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm here to joyfully splash the water from the river of life that He has given us. It is my prayer that you look to the Father for Grace, love, and peace. Amen.