The Name Means Messenger profile picture

The Name Means Messenger

I don't want back that which I've lost. I want that which I've never had.

About Me

I have a new mantra. "Living will eventually kill you." You can quote me on that, and you can take it whatever way you'd like. Life will be the death of me, but darn it, I'm going to enjoy the process. Half-full or half-empty, the top of the world is still the bottom from the other side of it.
I once briefly described the things I have been through in my life to someone who was down on her luck. She had basically nothing. When I'd gotten through about half of my experiences, she responded with, "I thought I had bad luck!"
Luck, however, is all in how you look at what you had, what you've been through, what you now have, and how you obtained it. The way I see it, I may not have good luck, but I have earned a lot. Most of what I have earned comes not in physical posessions, but in spiritual and emotional growth. The wealthiest people on Earth are those who can escape from it. I have my dreams, my delusions, my vices, and my escapes through the intense love of my family and friends.
I have not won the lottery, but I am still one of the richest people on the planet because I can love deeply and truely, and I am not afraid to show it. Funny... I learned how to smile my brightest smiles during the lowest points of my life.
One of the things that has repeately restored my sanity is music. In particular, local original music had been a saving grace. Next to nature, it was my church. It was where I could let go of the day, the things in life that bother me, and I could tunnel into my own little world through the lens of my camera. Because of that passion for music and the feelings I got out of being in that moment.. made a part of it through the photos I take, I created the web site, www.thelab-pa.com, TheLab - Local Area Bands . It's a web site I built for unsigned musicians focusing on Pennsylvania and surrounding regions before MySpace really took off. I don't to much with it any more, but it's still out there, like 30 billion other abandoned ideas and dreams.

So who am I really? Who is that girl with the camera? No one special. Just another profile on MySpace with a face, a name, and a bunch of words that may or may not ever be read.
I also have a live space at: http://chkm8.spaces.live.com/ and a music MySpace for the dabbling I do in music (primarily keyboard): Ashes of Phoenix Thank you for stopping by to read my rambling!
-Ang(ela)

My Interests

I love photography and music. I have a passion for local and/or unsigned bands.

I've been sketching (drawing) more than anything else in my free time lately. Check out the pics for a couple I've done. Many more on the way. Practice makes presentable!

Photography is my language. It's the easiest way for me to show anyone how I feel about something. If you're into local area bands in the Susquehanna Valley, you're likely to run across a photo or two of mine. I'm into all genres, but I usually fall for the rock, singer/songwriter, and "modern rock" bands that use acoustic guitars and other unusual instruments. I especially like the ones that create an over-all image with their sound. Two of the best in the latter category have broken up. Capitol Air, and Stage. However, two of the former members of Capitol Air have gotten together with former members of Jove to form Fear and Invention. They're in my friends list. Check them out.

I do also play piano and guitar. I'm not quite comfortable enough to entertain the idea of playing professionally, though. Microphones scare me.

Personality-wise, I'm stubborn, opinionated, open-minded, and sarcastic. I have a very dry sense of humor, and usually end up explaining away any trace of funny that was there at first. When I open up, I can ramble quite fluently about many things that no one really gives a poop about... but in person, I'm much more withdrawn until I have some sort of history built with you. I like to know what I'm stepping in before I take that step.

I'd like to meet:

I'm here to rally kindred spirits to seek music, spirit, frienship, kinship, emotional enlightenment, and a more empowered voice.

I'll talk music... I'll talk religion... I'll talk art, philosophy, history, sociology, politics, family, and a plethora of other things... politics, medical science, metaphysical theory...

I'd like to meet people who are "normal" and "average" but also open-minded and perhaps a little starved for playful mental combat. I love to debate, but I don't want to argue. I'd like to meet people who can make me laugh and laugh with me. I'd like to meet someone who will constantly challenge me to strive for more and remind me that I could always have less than before.

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Music:

If I even begin to write about this, I'll be up all night... We'll start with Pink Floyd and end with infinity...

Movies:

I like Kevin Smith movies... Once in a while I'll get into a mood for the old black & white films... mostly Fred Astaire, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Danny Kaye, etc. I shy away from tear-jerkers and horror films these days, since I've had enough of that in real life. I don't watch too many action movies, since they're usually rated R... which stands for Rarely Appropriate. The last movie I watched was Open Season, with my child. I have a nostalgic soft spot for John Hughes movies (ie, many John Cusak, Molly Ringwald, Emelio Estevez, etc... movies)... The stuff most of us watched in the 80's. I recently saw Pride & Prejudice with Kiera Knightly, and it was well worth it for me... but then, I'm a sap. :D

Television:

CNN, DIY channel, Heroes, Charmed, various movies OnDemand... Pretty much anything except the cartoons my son watches incessantly.

Books:

I've read the first three James Redfield novellas, The Celestine Prophecy,The Tenth Insight, andSecret of Shambala. I really loved all ten books of The Amber Chronicles, and I've read the first 6 of the Dragon Lance Chronicles. I recently read Pride & Prejudice and Emma by Jane Austen, All three of a trillogy by Jessica Inclan, Dream of Me, Remember Me, and Believe in Me (beware, I read some of the first book at work and blushed!) I am in the middle of Dragons of the Falling Sun and Wuthering Heights. I also recently read Codependant No More,and found out just how screwed up I really am.
To quote A Midsummer Night's Dream (William Shakespear)...
"If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber'd here While these visions did appear." and ""If we offend, it is with our good will, That you should think, we come not to offend, But with good will. To show our simple skill, That is the true beginning of our end. Consider then we come but in despite. We do not come as minding to content you, Our true intent is. All for your delight, We are not here."

Heroes:

If a hero is someone you aspire to be, I aspire to only be me. If a hero is someone you meerly admire, sit down, relax, stoke up the fire. There are a lot of people and you just might tire...

In all honesty, my mother... She has been through so much. Not many can be so strong through all she has overcome. She is part of the Zipper Club, twice over. She had a heart transplant in 2007, and I value every second I have with her. Few have tought me so much about patience, resilience, and unconditional love... My mother, my Aunt Debbi, and Aunt Myra shine in that area. I have never doubted their love.

My Blog

Ninja?!

Now... I gotta ask you... who the hell is in the mood "Ninja?" Apparently I am, just because I thought it was funny as hell that there was such a thing. My current status is Ninja. I'm not sleeping, I...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Thu, 16 Oct 2008 05:24:00 PST

Warm fall fuzzies...

A friend of mine posted about the leaves falling and 80 degrees in California... and I got to thinking about here.... How I love PA in the fall. The following is the warm fuzzy post I replied with: Yo...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Sat, 11 Oct 2008 09:26:00 PST

Romance Novels Anonymous...

I think I need to join Romance Novels Anonymous because every time I set food near a bookshelf, I walk away with a novel. That, and the fact that I spent more in the book store where browsing and read...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Sun, 05 Oct 2008 07:57:00 PST

Living beyond our means...

I've been watching CNN tonight. That alone might be a symptom of depression. At least it's not Bloomsburg TV... I'd consider that an indicator of suicidal tendancies. I'm no dummy, and I understand wh...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Sat, 04 Oct 2008 03:47:00 PST

I’d like to nominate...

I'd like to nominate this web site for the most obnoxiously eye-bleeding design I have seen in years: http://www.horserentals.com/pennsylvania.html I was just looking for a place to rent a horse and g...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Fri, 03 Oct 2008 02:44:00 PST

My favorite time of year...

I wish for warmth, growing warmer every day;in the chill of fall evenings,love wraps around, cuddling;a down comforter; a feather to tickle humor into a clear, cool day. Even gloom of winter's first s...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Thu, 02 Oct 2008 06:17:00 PST

Cars, Bikes, Dudes, and Chicks

It's the little things that make me laugh. My kid was pretty down today. He'd had a bad day. I was pretty Blah myself, so I decided we were going to go out to eat. Of course, it's bike night/weekend h...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Sat, 27 Sep 2008 05:13:00 PST

The loss of a friend...

You say I don't know loveYou say I couldn't know loveIf I think of you that way Your words drip with hipocrisyHow dare I say what I thinkYou slash your pen without inkacross words you refuse to readth...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 06:41:00 PST

Vinyl and alter-egos

So MySpace rolled out the new playlist music player, right? I went searching for songs I wanted to add in my regular crackmonkey way. It's a little of this and a little of that, and a little of nothin...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 06:09:00 PST

Vampyres, Witches, Warlocks, Sorcerers, Goth, and Lore

I just finished reading the Circle Trillogy, three books by Nora Roberts, in which a Sourcerer, Witch, Changling, Scholar, Deamon Hunter, and a Vampyre form an alliance. Of course, I'm a sap and let m...
Posted by The Name Means Messenger on Mon, 22 Sep 2008 05:21:00 PST