5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness

About Me

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I am an asshole. I love making fun of everyone, including the handicapped and retarded. I don't even care what ethnicity you are. Your all a bunch of pricks to me. Except for the ladies. Women love me. They just can't get enough. Sure, I look like a stinkin hippie, but I know how to work a woman over and bring her to total tranquility without even removing an article of clothing yet. I am just that awesome. Did you feel that? Yea, that's my chi penis. You like that, don't you? You little dirty bitch! Uh Huh! Wait, I am married now and boring. Ignore all this. GOD DAMN, I WAS AWESOME!!!

Your results:
You are Dr. Doom Dr. Doom 96% Magneto 94% Apocalypse 93% The Joker 84% Lex Luthor 83% Juggernaut 80% Dark Phoenix 79% Two-Face 76% Green Goblin 72% Venom 70% Catwoman 70% Mystique 68% Poison Ivy 66% Riddler 63% Kingpin 60% Mr. Freeze 58% Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity.
Click here to take the "Which Super Villain are you?" quiz...

My Interests

Myself, music, movies, humping, crackin on the whole human race, and spending countless hours trying to levitate and control chi energy. I also am obssessed with Philadelphia Cheesesteaks and Gary Coleman.

I enjoy peeing on people's feet in the next stall. I enjoy ripping farts as loud as they can be, alone and in huge crowds. I actually enjoy sniffing my own farts. You ever itch your ass and then smell your fingers. They taste weird after that too.

I enjoy staring at human atrocities and the handicapped like I am in complete shock and disgust. When I get introduced to one, I shake their hand and purposely use a wetnap right after. I like to imitate them, in front of them. They need to know how utterly dumb they sound and disgusting they are. It's just me giving back to society. I always feel like I helped someone out after that and that feeling is good. But not as good as smacking one around when noone is looking.

I am very interested in pissing in people's drinks when they leave the room.

I also like long walks on the beach.

I hate criminals though. I always ask a stinkin sweat spine if they have a green card. If not, I tackle them and turn them in. That's illegal.

I like putting cigarettes out on my balls and hearing myself scream and then smelling my burnt flesh.

I enjoy rubbing little kid's faces in cat litter when noone is around.

I love asking a blind person if I can help them cross the road, and then I knock them down, take their cane and run when we get halfway.

I love titty twisting old ladies who survived breast cancer.

I love dressing up hamsters in orange jumpsuits and then violating them with toothpicks. If a hamster even looks like it might snitch, I shank it.

I love gargling menstrual. It's good for your teeth, mind & body. Fuck the spirit.

Def Leppard was a good band for 17 seconds. I pay tribute to the gift they gave us by running around my house with one arm and then I pour sugar on myself.

I love dressing as a woman, going downtown and randomly accusing people of trying to steal my purse. Than I mace them and stun gun them in a crowd.

I like leaving my shit in the toilet for everyone to look at because I try to shape them as they come out.

I enjoy putting my finger in different animals to see how different they smell.

I enjoy frolf. He lives in my basement.

I'd like to meet:

The question should be, People who would like to meet me, in which case there isn't enough space here to list them.
Name? Dr. Sweet
Orgin & meaning of first name? One who is like God
fav quote? The evil is gone - Dr. Lumus
right or left handed? Right
shoes you wore today? Yes, I have shoes on.
fav food? Philly Cheesesteaks from Augie's in Reading, PA
weakness? See above
best physical feature? My huge swollen penis
what country would you like to visit? The Amish Country
chocolate or vanilla? Are we talking Ice Cream or women? Either way, chocolate
cappuccino or coffee? Coffee
goal would like to achieve this year? Increase my super awesomeness 10 fold which the earth may not be able to handle.
want to go to college? Yes, to teach my philosophy
want to get married? I am in April. She is a very very lucky woman.
what would you like to be? What I am, and that is me.
Do you believe in yourself? Like a religion.
Fav smell? My own farts.
Do you shower daily? No, I actually clean myself with my tongue, like a cat.
Do you think you are attractive? Let me put it to you this way. I want to rape me.
Club or house party? Clubbing Seals party.
If you were an animal what would you be? An undicovered species in the rainforests of Egypt
If you could be someone else for 1 day who would it be? Angelina Jolie so I could do some self sexual violation.
Do you like thunderstorms? No, but I like thunderdome.
Rollercoasters or videogames? I like Roller Coaster Tycoon.
Fav place? Wherver I am.
Do you get along with your parents? Yes
Number of peircings? 2
Number of tattoos? 0
In the past month have you cryed? no
In the past month have you been kissed? many of times.

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Music:

5 Hand Gang
Trype
Restroom Apocolypse
My Naked Grandmother
Superphonic Theory
Life of Agony
Marilyn Manson
Type O Negative
NIN
Uranium 235
Pist On
Mental Hippie Blood
Misfits
GWAR
Kids of Whidney High
KHZ

See Below:

Movies:

Porn, Orgazmo, Dumb and Dumber, Officer Munoz, Anything with Kung Fu, Snuff, Halloween 1 & 2, Escape from NY, Billy Jack, Anything with Bruce Lee is the bible, Something about Mary, Meet the Parents, The Boy's Life, Rawhead Rex, Fridat the 13th, Fade to Black, Humanoids from the Deep, osemary's Baby, Amityville 2, Loaded Weapon, Kill or be Killed, Wesley Cougar, The Long Road Home, Casino, Goodfellas, Anything with Lipstick Lesbians, Howard Stern's New Year's rotten eve.

Television:

Reality TV. I love to watch other people suffer. Kenny Vs. Spenny is awesome. Surface. Justice League of America. Charles Manson Interviews. I would love to see the live execution of innocent people or Barbara Walters.

Books:

Marvel
The Illuminati
The Necronomicon
Sauder Furniture Instruction Manuals.
and anything that has a gold binding.

Heroes:

My cock & Me
Shang Chi
Bruce Lee
Mr. Hankey
Female strippers
Sho Nuff, The Shogun of Harlem
Lo Pan
Ron Jeremy
Nikki Tyler
Almost making the list is Chris Farley and Mathew Perry.

My Blog

Tagged

I was tagged by Angie!! You must have been tagged if your reading this...lol Once you have been tagged you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits, or goals about...
Posted by 5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness on Sat, 12 Apr 2008 04:28:00 PST

I ruined CHRISTMAS!!

I. When was Jesus born? A. Popular myth puts his birth on December 25th in the year 1 C.E. B. The New Testament gives no date or...
Posted by 5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness on Wed, 12 Dec 2007 03:43:00 PST

FREE CORN!

Free corn is no joke... From: Dr. Hedges. Lowell E. Hedges is a retired associate professor of teacher education and a former superintendent of Elgin Local Schools Several years ago I was supervising ...
Posted by 5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 10:53:00 PST

The List

div#goal-header { font-weight: bold; font-size: 14px; } div#goal-list li { font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 3px; color: #666; } div#goal-list li a { font-size: 12px; } My 43 things to do list from 4...
Posted by 5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness on Wed, 06 Jun 2007 04:15:00 PST

Jack and Wii Stalk

So, the fuckin asswipe teste licker Jack Thompson is at it again. For those of you who don't know, he has been on a rampage trying to get violent video games banned. His latest attempt to get into hea...
Posted by 5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness on Thu, 10 May 2007 06:09:00 PST

Piss Poor Productions. 3 Movies posted!

*edit - ok I had some problems embedding the videos. Please use these links instead. The Brujaja The Heist Dr. Drums Here are some Piss Poor movies posted to YouTube, so far from the legendary...
Posted by 5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 05:24:00 PST

Top 5 Prime Time TV shows.

Ok, I have decided to tell all of you the best shows on TV right now. Agree or disagree, I really don't care because my word is all that matters. So, without further ado and in no particular order, he...
Posted by 5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 11:38:00 PST

Top 5 Prime Time TV shows.

USA needs to get Outback on their ass!

Why Can't The Greatest Country On Earth Be Like The Australian's?Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesdayto get out of Australia, as the government targeted radicals in...
Posted by 5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 08:47:00 PST

Vacation!

Woooo Hoooo!! This weekend I will be off to Pennsylvania. Eating cheesesteaks and REAL pizza. I can't wait!
Posted by 5handgang - Aka Pure Awesomeness on Tue, 29 Aug 2006 06:05:00 PST