John, but friends call me "whole grain"

I came to Rockford many years ago in search of my natural mother. You see, I was the product of an experiment to create the perfect human. On a remote, paradise-like island, my scientist father engineered the recipe for a flawless baby. However, there was a problem during the gestation period--the zygote split unevenly leaving me with the stregnth, brains, personality, and love, and my fraternal twin brother with whatever was left over.Upon my arrival in Rockford, I quickly met Vince, my stocky, balding, sheister of a brother. After some persauding, he agreed to help me seek out our long lost mother, but we were frequently sidetracked by his immoral exploits. He had one scam involving several million dollars. After several wacky adventures, we found our mother and Vince learned a valuable lesson in honorable living along the way.