I can't tell you how distasteful I find having to write a profile. Basically what I'm being asked for here is 'What image would you like to project to the people that view this profile?' The answer to that is 'none' but much like certain aspects of quantum physics, the very act of observing a thing changes its outcome. Therefore, the very act of creating any profile whatsoever, projects a certain image. Well, here it is. Hope you like it.
I'm a 28 (Just edited this and now I'm 30, but I was 28 when I wrote it all... and it shows.) year old female. (This should be obvious from the photos. At least I hope it's obvious.) I'm a bartender at a local gentleman's club and yes, I do on occasion dance. With this last comment I would like to inject a warning. If you contact me and start asking insulting, inane questions like 'hey, do you ever get turned on during a table/lap/couch dance.' I will feel free to let fly with the full force of my wrath. I'm not here to be a source of cheap amusement and fantasy to those of you too poor or timid to go to a real strip club and pay a real flesh and blood stripper to answer your questions. Besides, it's none of your damned business.
As for aesthetics I'm about 5 foot 4 inches tall and I weight in at roughly 120 pounds. Dark hair that falls past my shoulders (I will admit that I spend a lot of money at my stylist trying to keep the red highlights in it.) and dark eyes. I tend towards a lean build but am large breasted. Very large C - a small D cup. (The lady at Victoria's Secret recently insisted that they're double D but I don't believe her. However, I think Roger is still laughing and smirking about it.) I have only two tattoos currently. The one on my left shoulder blade is taken from an obscure Tolkien novel 'Farmer Giles Of Ham'. I'd be shocked if anyone that reads this profile has even heard of it much less read it. The second and most recent tattoo winds its way around my right bicep. It's a stylized tribal dragon that encircles the Japanese kanji script. If you know me well, you know what it means. If you don't then you may only *think* that you know what it means. No, no one else placed it on me or encouraged me to do so, it was something that I did myself. Let's just say that I know very well who and what I am. Well, now make that three. I just had another added, it's on my ribcage right under my left breast curved upwards following the line of my body. It's a tiny Japanese koi fish done in orange and yellow surrounded by a couple of small cherry blossoms. I liked the symbolism behind the koi so much that I decided I needed one. (I'll put up a couple photos and the symbolism and meaning of it on my blog later.)
Interests. Intelligent witty conversations. Charming, charismatic men. (Men that are intellectual, charismatic and witty have a much better chance than men that are good looking.) Books. That's probably my first love in this life. I collect books. You want to get me a gift? Forget candy and roses. Forget puppies and fluffy kittens. Find me a book.
Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill.
Barbara Tuchman
There is nothing that I love so much or have more respect for... than the written word. Coming in a close second would be the people that managed to create things worth reading.
I've a weakness for writers. It's unfortunate though. The arrogant, standoffish creatures that they are. :( I think perhaps I'm just vain enough that I enjoy the things that they write for and about me. Also, I've managed to cling to this idea that writers also have a respect for the written word and a writer is less likely to write something that is blatantly untrue. (No, I don't mean fiction.) I'm saying that if someone wrote me a bit of poetry saying 'I love you, you're the greatest thing since sliced bread.' I would be more inclined to believe that they were telling the truth. People, at least in my mind, have a tendancy to not want their lies laying around in hard copy. Foolish, I know... but it's just one of my many endearing quirks.
My other major interest is in the BDSM lifestyle. To me it speaks more of honesty than most other relationships. Think about it. Every other relationship I've ever heard of both halves of the couple talk about being equal and such. No wonder divorce rate is so high. Men and women aren't equal. We are two very different animals and anyone that says man = woman is smoking some mighty good crack. In fact, if you happen to be one of those people, please. Direct me to your dealer as I too would like to escape reality once in a while. Now before the N.O.W. traces my I.P. address and sends some diesel dyke bitches to slap me around I would like to clarify that statement. Do I think that a woman is a lesser creature than a man? No. Do I think that society today has tried to convince everyone that there is no difference in the sexes? Yes! I think that the beauty, the attraction *is* in the differences. It fascinates me to run my hands across the body of my lover and feel the sleek muscle and potential power that is contained in a man's form. A woman would not be considered beautiful if she were built like a man. 6 foot tall, broad shouldered, wide hipped and powerfully built. Women are beautiful because they are smaller, gently curved where men are solid. We're soft and we smell nicer. In a man our grace would be effeminate and make his sexuality questionable. It goes deeper than how we look though. If I were in a burning building and I had a choice. I could have someone my own size try to come rescue me or I could have someone 6 foot tall and 200 pounds try to come save me. I think that I, and just about everyone else, would take the latter. I don't understand why women feel the need to make men ashamed of the very things that make them beautiful. They are beautiful because they are masculine. Accept it. Honor it. Cherish it and above all, enjoy it. As for you men. Grow some balls, stop allowing women to castrate you and convince you that you should act in a way that is pleasing to them.
"Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings, who think themselves good because they have no claws!"
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
The weak and powerless will seek to tell you that it is the morally correct thing to do. To be as they are because then they have disarmed you, they have taken your weapons and have no further need to fear you. Fuck them I say. I will keep my weapons and know myself good because of how and when I choose to use them. There are no inherent evils in this world. All evil lies in the *reasons* behind what we do. Not in our potential. If it were mere potential that were evil... well, all of us would be in jail for murder.
I've always believed that men should be Blake's Tyger.
Tyger! Tyger! Burning bright,
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder, and what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? And what dread feet?
What the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears,
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?
Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
William Blake
If I had to name one thing that came the *closest* to an inherent evil, I would say lying. Having been through a bad marriage where lying was the modus operandi (and I'm not innocent there myself by any means, it takes two to fuck up a good marriage.) I know just what sort of damage they can do. I have to say that I'm almost glad to have had to live through an experience like that because it's taught me the value of telling the truth. Now, I'm not going to sit here and preach and say 'I never lie, I'm better than you.' I lie. Everyone lies. All of us. Every last one. The most honest man in the world has told far, far more than just one lie. I have learned however, that there is a time and a place for lies. There are also people to whom you should never lie... and things that you should never lie *about* Some things should be sacred. I also don't believe in telling the truth in a way that hurts someone's feelings. I've seen it time and time again.
Her - Honey, do these pants make my ass look big?
Him - No sweetheart, it's not the pants, it's the case of Mallomars that you ate last week that make your ass look big.
She runs off sobbing and he can feel smugly justified because he was *honest* and if she can't handle the truth then why was she asking the question?
Yes, that is true, if you can't handle the truth. Don't ask the question. Still, there is such a thing as kindness and tact. It's a shame that most people can't even look them up in the dictionary being so unfamiliar with the words that they don't even know how to spell them.
While we’re still on the subject of honesty, I’d like to slap each and every person that claims children are honest. Any person that says ‘I like children because they’re so honest.’ is an absolute idiot. I have serious doubts as to whether or not they’ve even *seen* a child. They’ve certainly never had to interact with them at any great length.
Your dominant emotion is LOVE
Your dominant emotion is Love. You tend to always find the best in people and give all people the benefit of the doubt. You love your friends and family and they are what drive you.
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