kandi apples and razor blades profile picture

kandi apples and razor blades

Is that vicks in your mask, or are you just happy to see me?

About Me

I WANT SOME DISCO BISCUITS IMMEDIATLY!!!!!Merry suicide to all, and to all a good night!!
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Name: TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROM
Birthday: 12.18.1526BC
Birthplace: lame ass rockford
Current Location: lame ass wheaton
Eye Color: blue,(and red if ya know what I mean) ;)
Hair Color: black
Height: 5'7
Right Handed or Left Handed: neither
Your Heritage: swede, german, irish, demon
The Shoes You Wore Today: black chucks
Your Weakness: captain morgan, cappin makes it happin
Your Fears: being molested by a catholic priest
Your Perfect Pizza: cheese, mushrooms, your pet cat
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: stuff
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: will you send me a pic of it?
Thoughts First Waking Up: why me?
Your Best Physical Feature: eyes, hair, feet(if you're freaky like that)
Your Bedtime: a little after bar time.....usually
Your Most Missed Memory: being able to remember stuff
Pepsi or Coke: dont do speed, so i choose......weed
MacDonalds or Burger King: your moms bloody pussy....slurp
Single or Group Dates: single, im not to sure about orgys
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: long island
Chocolate or Vanilla: ben and jerrys chunky monkey is were its at!
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee, black
Do you Smoke: CAMEL WIDES BABY
Do you Swear: your goddamn right
Do you Sing: sing/scream/growl
Do you Shower Daily: I hate smelly people....wash your asses!
Have you Been in Love: he broke my heart, so i ate him for breakfast
Do you want to go to College: your mama
Do you want to get Married: depends on whos asking
Do you belive in yourself: usually when im on acid
Do you get Motion Sickness: when fat girls wear clothes way too small
Do you think you are Attractive: usually when im on acid
Are you a Health Freak: I eat healthy 2 balance out all the toxins I put in
Do you get along with your Parents: they're dead. dont tell anyone.
Do you like Thunderstorms: ride the lightning?
Do you play an Instrument: I got first chair in advanced skin flute
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: have I been sober?
In the past month have you Smoked: rockin the reefa right now
In the past month have you been on Drugs: what are you, goddamn dirty pig bastards?!?
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no, taking offers from sexy slayers
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: nope
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: the cream in oreos makes me want to vomit
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: "
In the past month have you been on Stage: yup
In the past month have you been Dumped: he was strait edge, I was a sinner
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: its flippin winter
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: your soul
Ever been Drunk: yup
Ever been called a Tease: no I dont play little games
Ever been Beaten up: what, like s&m? naughty, naughty.... ;)
Ever Shoplifted: back in my youthful days
How do you want to Die: wrists slit, noose around neck, gun in mouth
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: GOD
What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland, to the haunted castles
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blind, eyes sewn shut
Favourite Hair Color: any
Short or Long Hair: long or shaved, mowhawks are sexy too
Height: I dont descriminate,I gots love 4 the midgets!!!
Weight: not too too fat, dont want to be squished
Best Clothing Style: naked and bloody
Number of Drugs I have taken: too many, yet not enough
Number of CDs I own: a whole crap load of bootlegs
Number of Piercings: I have had like 23, only have 13 in now
Number of Tattoos: bat wings, dragon and a devil fetus
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 1, not pulling the trigger
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
You Are 94% Evil
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you! How Evil Are You?

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My Interests

I enjoy: cheez-its, listening to late night suicide threats on the telly, staying out of jail; this means staying away from steve, people like me, drinkin my faces off and rockin the reefa, basements, fire, massages/massaging, pitbulls,DIK, glowstix, making sweet love to the green fairy ;) , black holes, XTC, 15 hr slumbers, breaking shit, my vibrator with brand new batterys in it, cock fights, basements with DIK, gravers, bum-fights, fetus'(would you pronounce that feti?) sharp pointy objects to inflict pain on my pussy ex-boyfriend (and another one bites the dust :D ) thongs are pretty cool. I like to listen to music, LOUD SHAKE YOUR NEIGHBORS HOUSE MUSIC!!! I go to the movies alot, I love going to the shooting ranges, pro guns; con idiots. I usualy do alot of camping and party'n in the summer, (which usualy means alot of hot steamy summer vomiting..delicioso.)I love to go hang out at a park or forest preserve for the day, I enjoy puppys, kittens, and slightly homosexual midget on midget snuff porn. Did I mention that I was a pirate? If you wanna chill sometime hit me up, we can go drinkin, or to a rave, perhaps even a nice picnic in a dark alley.....be sure to bring the biscuits for the ball.....no perverts please....Okay some perverts will be fine............right???

I'd like to meet:

George W. Bush's assassin!!!! Oh, and a fat girl thats NOT horny, I dont think there is a such thing; fat girls LOVE to fuck.... wtf? Now go chew your cud, feedbag sally. I'd also like to meet some people in my area that dont suck! It seems like everyone around here is either a pussy fn' spoiled rotton piece o' smegma yuppy bastard, or a mutton chop sportin mod-squad little bitch. They crowed around the closest starbucks where they spend thier days, living their fake lives, fearing their fake gods; and look at me like i'm the crazy one for not conforming to their pointless "rituals"..........they can suck my asshole....no seriously, suck on it. Also, I'd like to meet someone that could give me something similar to what this guy ate.....

Music:

the misfits, nirvana, alice in chains, NIN, old mans child, blackflag, minor threat, slayer, pantera, marilyn manson, G.G. fn' allen, the ramones, carnivore, lamb of god, ministry, rage against the machine,dimmu borgir, morbid angel, modest mouse, celtic frost, the sound your grandma makes when I fistfuk her in the asshole, anti-flag, in flames, GWAR, the casualties, blondie, sepultura, powerman 5000, job for a cowboy, tool, bjork, no doubt, NOFX (when I feel like a pussy), bad religion, social d, sublime, weezer, beck, blood for blood, old man's child, napalm death, rise against, opeth, silverchair, lords of acid, al green, marvin gaye, the dixie chicks, twista, mudvayne, dead kennedys, coldplay...yeah I said it mother fuckers...what...WHAT?!, prodigy, pitbull day care, pink floyd, sub/hum/ans, suicidal tendancys, staind, madonna, old metallica, the white stripes, deicide, snoop, skinny puppy, queens of the mother fuckin stone age, johny cash, black sabbath, cannible corpse, anything that makes my asshole neighbor's day a little bit worse than it already is!!!! Oh yea, did i mention the misfits!?!?

Movies:

star wars!!!, harry potter, the lord of the rings trilogy(the original and the remake), pulp fiction, the original texas chainsaw massecre, eturnal sunshine..., crash, a clockwork orange, walk the line, finding nemo, fritz the cat is always fun, full metal jacket, shrek, natural born killers, bevis and butthead, jackass, cky2k, the nightmare before christmas, frankinweenie, forrest gump makes me cry every time i see it, napoleon dynamite, taxi driver, anything bruce lee, american psyco, alien, the doors, sin city, hamburger hill, salt lake city punk, southpark, the wizard of oz, most distasteful midget porn, fear and loathing in las vegas, half baked, underworld, seven, ol yeller, ice age, band o' brothers, x men, evil dead, pet semetary, too wong foo, thanks for everything, julie newmar, boondock saints, deer hunter, most old horror "cult classics", most gorry horror movies, I love to watch people suffer and die slowly....that's how I went out.

Television:

I love watching cartoons! the simpsons, family guy, ren and stimpy, doug, the angry beavers, aqua teen hunger force, robot chicken, futurama, eek the cat, spongebob, catscratch, puffyamyumi, aaahh!!! real monsters, rockos modern life, jimmy neutron, hey arnold, i am a nip/tuck freak! that show is a trip. I also enjoy watching mythbusters, malcome in the middle, dr. 90210, martha stuart?!?, inked, the chappelle show, dirty jobs, i love the 80s, x files, connan o'brian, jay leno, miami ink, wildn out, pimp my ride, saturday night live, pretty much anything on the food, history, national geographic, discovery, and animal planet channels. Sometimes i even catch myself watching those Ronco cookers infomercials.....just set it and forget it!

Books:

Anarchists cookbook, Dr. Suess, Lucifer riseing , PORN, bernstien bears, Websters dictionary, cosmo, high times, gothic beauty, dog fancy, dark realms, wheres waldo, eye spy (even though i cant ever see any thing, it just makes me dizzy.) mixology 101, dog books, stuff.

Heroes:

Captain morgan, captain crunch, kurt cobain, who ever invented those little vicks vapo-sticks, adoulfus bush, george lucas, Glen Danzig ( i'd make him sing to me, and if he wouln't i'd eat his face for brunch, with a nice spot of tea!), my dog Nukem (before he was brutally murdered.... your goin down, murderer.)..

My Blog

killing a bird at work; $49; bad ass bird leg earrings:priceless

So, today I was feeding the birds at work and one got loose. It was flying around the bird room for a while, then it landed on the floor, so I swung my bird net to catch it, but my depth perception wa...
Posted by kandi apples and razor blades on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 03:16:00 PST

because you just never know.....

How to perform a tracheotomythis procedure, technically called a cricothyroidotomy, in my opinion should be performed by everyone at least once in their lifetime. I learned back in 1998 on two unw...
Posted by kandi apples and razor blades on Sun, 19 Mar 2006 10:27:00 PST