DJ COLDHEART profile picture

DJ COLDHEART

Putting the 'Sewer' in 'Connoisseur'

About Me


All and none of the following is true:
Some people call me the space cowboy, some people call me the gangster of love. Nobody, but nobody calls me Maurice.
I live in the shady ground between contradictions; I am a people person but am also a misanthrope waiting for humanity's comeuppance; I have excellent rifle marksmanship and can apply eyeliner on myself; I love incense but can't stand hippies.
Other people have called me well-versed, even-keeled (excepting my bouts of exaggerated gesticulation), frolicsome, imperturbable, cartoonish, and sick. I tend to be the nicest person people have known. Little do they know. That I can be even nicer. Like fluffy bunnies. Stuffed inside of fluffy sheep rolled in sacchrine and dipped in pink glaze. With a pretty bow on top.
I can be sympathetic, empathetic, but mostly just pathetic. The truth is always stranger than fiction, therefore I always strive for the truth. I used to find and collect four-leaf clovers as a child. I have zero cavities and have all my wisdom teeth. I've known a clown personally, and yes, he was an alcoholic. I am a vegan because animals are my friends and I don't eat my friends. However, I am compiling recipes on how to prepare delicious home-cooked meals out of my enemies.
I love art and media that is high-brow, low-brow, and especially uni-brow. I find humor in nonsensical health and safety warnings. I entertain myself by making sound-effects with my mouth. To make best use of my genetic attribute of German efficiency, I am part of the problem AND part of the solution, thus effectively cancelling myself out.
I am an advocate for arming the homeless, home surgeries, and out-sourcing the presidency. I put my money where my mouth is, much to the chagrin of retail clerks everywhere. I love bad weather.

My Interests

Death, decay, attrition, and destruction. Dadaists, decontructionists, and demolitionists. Obscure, occult, and hidden knowledge. Unusual inventions. Cats. And fuzzy children's toys. I like to annoy my girlfriend (she's still around after 15 years; she's a trooper!). I travel, camp, hike, and love to visit places where I'm not allowed. I have an unnatural nostalgia for times and places I've never existed in--some people say I have an old soul; I think I'm just a freak. To that end I collect 1920's-30's 78rpm records, silent films, and vintage fashion. I love antique and thrift shopping, especially for weird electronic gadgets, strange music, and odd curios. I revel in the strange, dark, bizarre, absurd, disturbing, funny, freakish, and campy. Especially when it's all of those at once.

I'd like to meet:

The walking undead. And the ones that jog. Anyone wanting to fulfill a request to my seasonal business where I secretly come to someone else's house and take down their Christmas lights up past New Years. Zoo-dating is never an option for me.

I've just assaulted my ears with:

Music:



My playlists give somewhat of a clue as to my collection. That is simply what I can carry on down to the clubs; there is much more that I leave behind. Besides the death-rock and industrial, some of other things I listen to are old punk, Black Sabbath, the Stooges, old blues like Charlie Patton, Bessie Smith, and Leadbelly, Depression-era jazz, avant-garde classical like Stockhausen, 60's garage-rock, torch singers like Edith Paif and Josephine Baker, kraut-synthmeisters like Cluster and Klaus Schulze, other early electronic pioneers like Martin Subotnik, as well as dark-ambient, noise, death-industrial, and weird instructional records. I also like to listen to machines and motors.

I keep my playlist archives at www.djcoldheart.com and playlists from my Isolation night (at a new venue!) are also at isolation.djcoldheart.com . And I own my own 45rpm adapter.

Movies:

Man Bites Dog. Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Beetlejuice. Wallace and Gromit. Blacula. City of Lost Children. Metropolis. Brazil. Delicatessen. The Dark Crystal. 1984. Animal Farm. Decasia. Edward Scissorhands. Anything by Aki Kaurismaki. Silent films. Vintage cartoons. Old horror. Creature features. Old Sci-fi with spaceships on strings and people in robot suits. Psychotronic. Porno bloopers.

Television:

Family Guy. Secrets of the Dead. My Name is Earl. The Office. Jeeves and Wooster. When Animals Attack (I root for the animals). Arrested Development. Travel with Rick Steves. Pee-Wee's Playhouse. Antiques Roadshow. Scrubs. I think there should a reality show featuring terminally ill patients who wish to die participating in extreme stunts.

Books:

Struwwelpeter. Wisconsin Death Trip. European history. Anthropology. Paganism. Mythology/folklore. Occult. Folk and historical erotica. Post-mortem photographs. Disease and pathology. Vintage cartoons (esp. Krazy Kat). Obscure science. Scratch-and-sniff. Supernatural/paranormal. Edward Gorey. Books with buttons that make sounds.

Heroes:

Professional pranksters, satirists, and culture jammers: Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping , Alan Abel , Joey Skaggs

My Blog

ISOLATION update

Last month, as many of you know, was the last Isolation at the Capitol Hill Arts Center. CHAC is closing down, leaving me without a home for my night. Many of you have been asking me when it's coming ...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Thu, 19 Jun 2008 08:22:00 PST

[06/01] INTERZONE @ MERCURY

It's time once again for Interzone!Join me for the best of the old-school industrial, goth, punk, synth, wave, and other dark delights from my vast collection. The classics, the cult favorites, the c...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Sat, 31 May 2008 10:39:00 PST

CHAC closing down

So, according to recent blurbs in the Stranger and those I've talked to that hold events there, it appears the the Capitol Hill Arts Center is closing down soon. Getting to the bottom of it may be a b...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Tue, 20 May 2008 01:28:00 PST

Vote for me!

It's that time again! For two years running, I've been a finalist, so let's go for 3, shall we? :) Just go on over to the entertainment section, and click on "Club DJ." Either click on my name, or if ...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Tue, 06 May 2008 04:39:00 PST

[05/04] INTERZONE @ the MERCURY

Before the projected debauchery of Cinco de Mayo, why not keep your constitution limber on Quattro de Mayo; come on down to the underground and revel in the classics and deep cuts of old-school goth-...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Fri, 02 May 2008 10:52:00 PST

THE SPEAKEASY: A new night of Prohibition-era music [UPDATED]

Starting May 13, under the alias DJ Dubonnet, I will be bringing to Seattle THE SPEAKEASY, a regular night of music from the Prohibition era--that is, 1920's-1930's jazz, blues, rags, barrelhouse, tor...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Wed, 30 Apr 2008 04:57:00 PST

[04/24] ISOLATION w/ ROMANCE

That's right kiddies! It's been quite some time since Romance has played out live, and I'm honored to have them come on for the first time in what, a year now?If you love old Chameleons, Psychedelic F...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:11:00 PST

Another night, another alias, debutting May 12

Welcome all you vamps, vixens, gators, cats, swing kids, modernists, vintage enthusiasts, historical aesthetes, poets, romantics, dreamers, and time travelers!Revisit the era of flappers and philosoph...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:30:00 PST

[04/06] INTERZONE @ the Mercury

  Greetings once again kiddies! The first Sunday of this month is right around the corner, so that means it’s time for Interzone once again! Sure, it’s on a Sunday, and you may have ...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:22:00 PST

[03/27] ISOLATION w/ The Daughters of Bristol

Starting this month, Isolation will be host to showcase performances by local and regional bands creating gloriously dark music right unerneath everyone’s noses. This month features minimal got...
Posted by DJ COLDHEART on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 03:38:00 PST