Anyang. My name is Gordon and my favorite color is clear. I'm probably the nicest person you'll ever meet. Bitch. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure. I don't need to worry about identity theft, because nobody wants to be me. I'm as smart as bait and as boring as whale shit. I spell "food" f-u-d. I want to try 40 new flavors of ice cream for lent. People either love me or hate me or think I'm ok. When I close my eyes, it's like I'm squishing the world. I like that sense of power. I was in the Boy Scouts just long enough to get the knife. I use it to open beer. I don't own many pictures of me because I own a mirror. I have the eyes of a hawk, the brain of a fox, and the feet of a gazelle in my freezer. I want to buy a goldfish and name him "El Macho Borracho." I want glow in the dark pjs. I know Kung Sucka Fu. I can kill a yak from 100 yards away with mind bullets. I made a hat out of a lobster and a stick. I think baseball should be shown in highlight form. God bless Sportscenter for making that sport tolerable. I worship Stan. Music makes me so hard (makes me say, "oh my lord.") As a young child, I found out that I wanted to play music when I saw PDQ Bach play the only piece ever written to be played on two pieces of uncooked manicotti. I told my dad I wanted to take up music, so he gave me a blunt instrument and told me to knock myself out. In case you're wondering, yes, Nigel Tufnel does rock. I play both kinds of music: country and western. I make great pasta. Actually, I'm just really good at boiling water. I don't want a large Farva. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. I drink yellow juice. I thought I had mono once for an entire year, but I was just really bored. I rented a storage unit from Samuel L Jackson. I hump groupies. I'm starting to get hair in really weird places. I feel like I'm turning into Sasquatch. I love mankind. It's people I can't stand. I honestly do like everyone. Except redheads, librarians, and redheaded librarians. If I was a Pokemon, I'd be Coo Coo Ka Choo. I'd never join a club that would accept me. I can dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much. I'm a practicing nerdist. There are dozens of us. I try to live each day as if it's my last, so I usually just lie in bed slipping in and out of consciousness. I like fucking with people. It's nothing personal. I just don't like you. Actually, I'll only make fun of you if you're a good friend or at least I know you're not going to stab me for it. My girlfriend bought me a down jacket because she said it fit my personality. Just kidding. I don't have a girlfriend. I just know someone who would get really mad if she heard me say that. My AIM is: musicandgum. I can say Elway in Pig Latin. I wish I had a gong. That way, I could come home after a hard day's work and hit the gong. I voted for Gary Coleman because he cares about the little people. I think I have A.D... ooo, look. A shiny object. I like to tell people to "have a Great Dane," because dogs need love too. I'm not a dog person, because then I'd be all furry and shit. Peter Gibbons is my hero. Sting would be another person who is a hero. The music that he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. In a nutshell: Don't like hash. Don't like rap. Kicked Joanna cause she's fat. I'm a jerk. I'm a punk. Took a shower cause I stunk. Smoked a bong. Killed a cat. Had my nuts attacked by rats. Dad got nude. I wore a thong. For a hobby I make bombs.
Oh, right. Aren't I supposed to put something like this in this section?
What NBC "The Office" character are you? Your Result: Jim Halpert
You are the kind of person that everyone likes. You are funny, laid back, and not bad looking. You love practical jokes and having a fun time with your friends. However, because you are so laid back you often let the things that are most important to you get away.I miss Dwight. Congratulations Universe, you win.
Pam Beesly
Toby Flenderson
Dwight Kurt Schrute
Ryan Howard
Angela Martin
Kelly Kapoor
Michael Scott
What NBC "The Office" character are you?
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10 to 1, Grant finds a way to get Stanley.