Rich profile picture

Rich

Wipe your mouth, there's still some bullshit left

About Me

I once saved an entire amazon basin village from a ferocious horde of man-eating army ants using only a small glass of water and a Triscuit[TM]. "Old Time Rock and Roll", by Bob Seger; "Celebration", by Kool and the Gang; and "Paradise By The Dashboard Lights", by Meatloaf are the three main reasons I try to avoid wedding receptions. I'm the kind of person who, when I am speaking, you can almost hear the semicolons. I like to have sex with soccer moms. I have no friends, mostly because I'm an angry, self-centered, viscious bastard.
Gronkulator

Here's some video from our sailing trip on the California coast.

My Interests

Feeding myself, occasional bathing and hygiene, getting from place to place, working at a job I hate so I can buy shit I don't need, breathing and other various bodily functions, being an official member of the grammar police.

I'd like to meet:

Sasquatch - so I could take a blurry photograph.

God - so I could slap him in the face. He'll slap me back and we'll have a good belly-laugh, then I'll say, "seriously though, dude. what's the deal with the duck-billed platypus?"

Music:

yes, please

Television:

no, thank you.

Books:

and then some

Heroes:

Thomas Jefferson, John Stark, Adam Smith, John McLaughlin, Alexander Solzenitsyn, Siddhartha Gautama, Neem Karoli Baba, Nan In