playing pool, drinking good beer, parties with friends, mindless fun, hilarity, ridiculous stuff, women, sex, naughty sex, dirty sex, rough sex, winter, scotch, Transformers, web stuff, loud music (of heavy variety)... all this in no particular order
I'd like to meet:
Anyone with like-minded interests and who has something smart to say!!! Oh! and Jeff Hanneman! Hypocrites, morons and hippies need not apply! I also have a wonderful girlfriend (go check her out: evil_mom ), so save your romantic and/or sexual overtures for someone else!
Here are some of my all-time favourite quotes! It vas ze greatest beer in all ze vorld! - Otto . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Matt Damon! - Matt Damon - (Team America: World Police) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole! - Colonel Sandurz (Spaceballs) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dude, I don't want to sound like a queer or nothin', but I'd kinda like to make love to you tonight. - Dave (Orgazmo) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If you don't find a nice girl in Colorado, just remember, there's plenty of mountain sheep. - Israel Swan (Cannibal! The Musical) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture. - Terrence (South Park: BLU) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yo baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat? - Jay (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Surprise, cockfags! - Chris (Team America: World Police) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . COCK ROCKET! - Choda Boy (Orgazmo) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Very well, let me know if there is any change in his condition. [Hangs up] He's dead. - General Streck (Top Secret!) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Get your pretty little portfolio off my desk before I go into a diabetic coma! - J. Jonah Jameson (Spider-Man 2) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Oh, did I stutter? Everybody gone all quiet and shit? About a minute ago it was like an evening at the Apollo up in this motherfucker, now all of a sudden it's quiet as a church. - Johnny Doyle (Poolhall Junkies) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone - Kim Jong Il (Team America: World Police) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I bet she gives great helmet. - Dark Helmet (Spaceballs) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . We must be too far North... or South. - Alferd Packer (Cannibal! The Musical) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Get bent, Umlauts! - Jan Wolfhouse (Beerfest) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner, bitch, muff, pussy, cunt, butthole, Barbra Streisand! - Cartman (South Park: BLU) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! - Jay (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone. - 'Verbal' Kint (The Usual Suspects) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team... I don't know what he was talking about. - Shaun (Shaun of the Dead) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well, what would you prefer? Yellow spandex? - Cyclops (X-Men) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Derka derka, Mohammed Jihad. - Gary Johnston (Team America: World Police) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Especially you Clark, you pig fucking hunk of shit! - Maxxx Orbison (Orgazmo) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You listen. On this ship, you're to refer to me as 'idiot', not 'you captain'. I mean, you know what I mean. - Lone Starr (Spaceballs) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Who are you, assholes? - Indian Chief (Cannibal! The Musical) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Real funny, Deutschebag. - Landfill (Beerfest) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON? - Cartman (South Park: BLU) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . In women's tennis, I always root against the heterosexual. - Blind man (Top Secret!) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Awww. Miss Brant? Get me a violin. - J. Jonah Jameson (Spider-Man 2) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for? - Gimli (The Lord of the Rings) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Way to go, Furball. - Wolverine (X-Men: The Last Stand) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work you can always hit them with it. - Boris The Blade (Snatch). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wow, good going, fag. You really made the world a better place, didntcha, fag? - Alec Baldwin (Team America: World Police) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. - Dark Helmet (Spaceballs) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I am Sancho. - Sancho (Orgazmo) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker. - Jay (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm gonna step outside and get some smog. - Mike (Poolhall Junkies) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ooooooh... cockacidal maniac. Ex-porn star. She's done it all. They say she starred in the world's first interracial hardcore loop... Café au lait... pour vous! - Ed (Shaun of the Dead) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fudge, Packer? - James Humphrey (Cannibal! The Musical) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shit! I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted. - Dark Helmet (Spaceballs) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My doctor says now I have enough silicone in my body to kill a small elephant! Isn't that cool? - Georgi (Orgazmo) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. - Gary Johnston (Team America: World Police) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Und Beck's! - Gunter (Beerfest) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Why, that's when you put your legs behind your head and let someone lick your ass. - Mrs. Cartman (South Park: BLU) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE SIGN! ON THE BACK OF THE CAR! IT SAID "CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD", YOU DUMB FUCK! - Silent Bob (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Give me the fucking keys, you fucking cocksucking motherfucker, aaarrrghh. - McManus (The Usual Suspects) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box? - Legolas (The Lord of the Rings) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Protection from what? "Zee Germans"? - Turkish (Snatch) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Don't get your panties in a bunch. - Wolverine (X-Men: The Last Stand) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AH! BUCKLE THIS! Ludicrous speed GO! - Dark Helmet (Spaceballs) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What makes a man, is it the woman in his arms / Just 'cause she's got big titties - DVDA lyric (Orgazmo) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I've got a chest of wonder and balls of thunder. I can break right through a wall. - Frenchy Cabazon (Cannibal! The Musical) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . America, fuck yeah! - Lyric (Team America: World Police) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If they find out you've seen this, your life will be worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory. - Doctor Flammond (Top Secret!) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I've been beatin' this Jimmy Walker lookin' motherfucker all goddamn night, he can't win. - Johnny Doyle (Poolhall Junkies) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yeah, it's kind of itchy... and it rides up in the crotch a little bit, too. - Spider-Man (Spider-Man 2) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Let's get sour on some Krauts! - Gil (Beerfest) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in ze heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in ze vomb? - The Mole (South Park: BLU) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . No sir, a 10-82 is disappearing a dead hooker from Ben Affleck's trailer. - Security Guard Gordon (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I like your balls. - Terrorist (Team America: World Police) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You heard me. Take that book of Mormons and shove it so far up your righteous asses that you choke, you soul soliciting pigfuckers. - Old Lady (Orgazmo) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I've lost the bleeps, the sweeps, and the creeps. - Radar Technician (Spaceballs) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shpadoinkle! - Alferd Packer (Cannibal! The Musical) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Create your own Friend Test here
Your Famous Last Words Will Be:
"I can pass this guy." What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?
Too hilarious... WARNING, may ruin your appretiation or interpretation of Angel of Death!! ..
This kid is amazing!!
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For those who hate tricked out rides!!
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Check out all three... BEAUTIFUL!
PROFUGUS MORTIS!!! You MUST check them out!!
This for those who work in IT or people who hate stupidity!!
Music:
(R.I.P. 07/17/03)
R.I.P. Dimebag 08/20/66 - 12/08/04
... and tons more!
Movies:
Transformers, Beerfest, The Usual Suspects, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Snatch, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, X-Men Trilogy, Spider-Man (the first two!), Cannibal! The Musical, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Poolhall Junkies, Top Secret, Orgazmo, Spaceballs, Team America... anything ridiculously funny really!
Television:
South Park, The Family Guy, Futurama, Titus, Scrubs, House, Arrested Development (it grew on me!!)... and now, Emilie's got me hooked to Andromeda reruns.
Books:
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Stephen King's The Dark Tower series
Heroes:
Cartman, Stewie, Bender, Lumpy and Brice... and let's not forget Stone and Parker and the Broken Lizard krew as well!!! And well, pretty much any musician I listen too, with Dimebag on top!
