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One true thing about life is that when you are young you think that one day you will know what you want, what you need and what is right and wrong. Unfortunately in my case there has been no such revelations, I am as confused now as I was when I was a teenager. I am becoming a middle aged man without any of the associated wisdom, is it just me or does everybody have this feeling? I am forty three years of age and work with people who believe that Phil Collins music is really great, what the hell is going on? Anyway, about me, I like a drink, I am desperately trying to give up smoking, I work really hard for very little recompense, I can still complete an NME crossword in about 20 minutes (hey I'm down with the kids), I play guitar like Duane Eddy with fingers missing and I absolutely love Punk, Rockabilly, Psychobilly, Sandie Shaw and a lot of stuff that just isn't Phil Collins. In my youth I played bass in a rockabilly band called The Zodiacs and after that I fronted a dodgy goff band called Graveyard Dirt until I had to pawn the drum machine for drink. I've worked on many solo projects over the years, but I'm too much of a perfectionist to ever get anywhere with it, I've always thought 'yes it's okay but it just needs re-recording and then it'll be better', again and again and again. Is there anybody out there who has any idea what I'm talking about? Do I know what I'm talking about anymore? The scariest thought in the world is that when we're eighty years of age we STILL won't know what we want to do with our lives. Our greatest ambition will become making it to the toilet in time and staying awake when appropriate. Ho Hum...
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Mark.
Birthday: Waaaay back in the sixties.
Birthplace: Crumpsall Hospital
Current Location: About five hours drive from Manchester, in some place called Kent
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black, is there any other?
Height: Six foot two
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right.
Your Heritage: I come from a long line of Mostonian drunks.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Black Vans skate shoes
Your Weakness: Drink, drugs and pretty women, and butter.
Your Fears: Dark water, helplessness, loneliness.
Your Perfect Pizza: Chicken and sweetcorn or Ham and mushroom.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: A job with less actual work involved.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Bollocks.
Thoughts First Waking Up: Where's my cigarettes?
Your Best Physical Feature: Probably eyes.
Your Bedtime: Too fucking late.
Your Most Missed Memory: My dead friend Phil.
Pepsi or Coke: Either (diet), with whisky of course.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Prefer KFC really.
Single or Group Dates: What's a group date? does it result in group sex?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Tetleys.
Chocolate or Vanilla: What? choc what? vanilla what?
Cappuccino or Coffee: Either, with whisky of course.
Do you Smoke: Like a chimney.
Do you Swear: Very fucking rarely.
Do you Sing: Badly, in the car.
Do you Shower Daily: Yep.
Have you Been in Love: All my life.
Do you want to go to College: Bit late for that.
Do you want to get Married: Yes, then I can let myself go, get fat and go bald.
Do you believe in yourself: Not much, no.
Do you get Motion Sickness: No.
Do you think you are Attractive: When I'm drinking I think I'm God's gift, when I'm sober I think I'm an abomination.
Are you a Health Freak: Very fucking far from it.
Do you get along with your Parents: One of them, most of the time.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes, as long as I'm not out in them, wrapped in aluminium foil.
Do you play an Instrument: Several, very badly. Jack of all trades etc.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Ooooh yes.
In the past month have you Smoked: Ooooh yes.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: That's a bit intrusive...
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Are we back in the fifties? where's Fonzie?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: I do occasionally buy things.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Do Mcvities Chocolate Digestives count?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Urgh.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Someone once said the world's a stage, and each must play their part...
In the past month have you been Dumped: No.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No, but I used to like swimming, haven't been for years.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No.
Ever been Drunk: Regularly.
Ever been called a Tease: Why would a big ugly middle aged man ever be called a tease?
Ever been Beaten up: Many times.
Ever Shoplifted: I am a retailer, shoplifters are my natural enemy, that's just how it is.
How do you want to Die: I cannot die, I am indestructable, you see.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Tall tall tall, as big as a wall wall wall.
Is your name Kyle Asselin:: No but I'm sure he's a lovely bloke.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Any eye colour with black eyeliner.
Favourite Hair Color: BLACK BLACK BLACK.
Short or Long Hair: Not fussy.
Height: Not fussy.
Weight: Give me a break.
Best Clothing Style: The only thing I really detest is sportswear.
Number of Drugs I have taken: Tonight?
Number of CDs I own: A lot, but I need many more!
Number of Piercings: Seven now, but used to have many more.
Number of Tattoos: Two.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Tonight? Varies from day to day. Hindsight is a wonderful but fairly pointless thing. Would I change anything if I had my time again? I dunno...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
To Whom It May Concern:
