Madman Provak 7th Grade

I make music and enjoy being happy. Making music makes me very happy. I have only been making music for a short while so I am really enjoying what is coming out of me. Warm lushes of sounds give me a tingle in my arms and I try to make these as often as possible. I just love strange sounds and feelings. I hope you can get this from my music and that it makes you happy as it does me.If you ARE happy you may not want to read on. The following text is both true and full of hope but if you are liable to Sinicism then it may dull your mood.For a while last year i went a bit crazy. I was questioning things a little too much and found no sufficient answers. I was loosing sight of lifes beauty and was falling into despair. Technology disgusted me, I began to distrust the other people and the human spirit, I was not sure if I believed in any kind of God or afterlife, the world seemed sinister and cruel, and I began to believe there was a conspiracy beyond site (like a dark shadow or demon), keeping me away from true consciousness.Every day became a whirlwind of thought, most of my life seemed really surreal and i became detached from my own life and self. Luckily I have very beautiful friends and they put up with me and saw me through this time and I will always love them very much for it. THANK YOU!In this period I was very fortunate to have had a number of experiences that I now draw much of my inspiration from in my music. The most memorable one was when I communicated with what i believe to be the spirits of the earth - Earth, Wind and Water (no fire was present).I used to live by a river and on this night had gone to the river looking for answers. I was in a very low place at the time, my grandfather had just died. I sat against a tree and as soon as I did became filled with an energy so powerful that it felt like I was a baby, sucking on it's mothers breast for life source. This experience was so powerful that when it ended I felt as though I had been released from a choke hold. I stood up and faced the river and what I saw before me was wondrous. I am unable to put it into words but the best i can say is that i could read the river. Every ripple of the water spoke to me. Mother earth seemed to be in my mind, reading my searching thoughts and displaying her supporting answers through the flow of the river. The wind also spoke to me. It whispered my darkest fears mischievously into my ears. Things that I was previously unable to face up to myself. As I confronted the wind, standing up for myself, the earth seemed to support me and I came to realize that I really had nothing to fear. Life is immensely beautiful, even in at it's darkest and I felt so alive that nothing could change that truth.What was most special about this whole experience was that I was allowed an insight into Mother Earth herself. I was struck by how fragile and human she appeared to be. She did not have all the answers that i asked of her, just an unbelievable wisdom that to this day I try to draw from when I am unsure of my own instincts.However crazy this may sound, it appeared as real to me as waking up on a mourning and eating breakfast or having a drink with friends on an evening out. I draw from this experience, and others like it when I now make my music. It has taken me a long time to be able to fully express these memories and I am still in the process of refining the articulation of my feelings. I am very interested in the conflicts and harmonies that are forged between nature and technology and I hope this shows in my music.The pictures on my photo page where taken during the time of my laps in sanity and gave birth to my name - Provak 7th Grade. The Madman was added later by a good friend and has since stuck.Enjoy and thank you for your time.Provak