Jeff

Music:

REO Speedwagon:
Album: High Infidelity
Song : Keep On Lovin You

REO Speedwagon - Keep On Loving You

Movies:

Television:

SciFi Channel:
Battlestar Galatica;
StarGate;
StarGate Atlantis

Books:

Jokes How to bathe a cat!!
STEPS FOR CLEANING THE CAT
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so he cannot escape.)
CAUTION: DO NOT GET ANY PART OF YOUR BODY TOO CLOSE TO
THE EDGE, AS HIS CLAWS WILL BE REACHING OUT FOR ANY SURFACE THEY CAN FIND.
NOTE: THE CAT WILL SELF-AGITATE AND MAKE SIMPLE SUDS. NEVER MIND THE NOISES THAT COME FROM THE TOILET. THE CAT IS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can. Quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself off.
Sincerely,
The Dog
..
Dear Dog-
I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound
for the broken lamp which you did not break;
the fish you did not spill; and the carpet that you
did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty with
red paint... Things here at the house are calmer now,
and just to show you that I have no hard feelings
towards you, I am sending you a picture, so you will
always remember me.
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pimpfarmer.com
* Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They sneer at Virgil and leave. Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd ... did the Sheriff come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep!"
"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
Wrong E-mail AddressA couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinatetheir travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and, without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to Glory following a sudden acute heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------To: My loving wife Subject: I've arrived Date: 16 March 2005I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Heroes:

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