I am who I am...
sometimes I like to go to the beach and burry metal pieces and write "Get A Life" on them.
I used to be really competitive at sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Especially if your team are bad guessers.
I like Statues because they show us what great people would look like if birds crapped all over them. Because Pidgins have no sense of history.
I like video games but they are very violent. I want to design a video game where you take care of all the people that were hurt in all the other video games.
I got these Pajamas with pockets in them. Which is great because before I used to have to hold stuff when I slept.
My computer beat me at Chess, but then I beat him at Kick Boxing.
If I ever saw an amputee being hanged I would just yell out letters.
I want to make a jig saw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces and when its done it says "Go Outside."
I was on the street and this guy waved to me. Then he said I am sorry I thought you were someone else. I said. I am.
Every fight is a food fight when you are a cannibal.
This summer I learned at a party there is a small but important difference between peeing in the pool and peeing into the pool. Location. Location. Location.
Everything is pocket-sized if your ass is big enough.
