The ancient art of dance, being one with my mp3 player, tree hugging, baking cakes in the shape of all 48 states, watching the sun implode, freestyling, making fun of 6-year olds, laughing at babies, trying new things, anything music, reefs and comedy, thongs songs and sing-alongs, trying to make you mine. Oh, and destroying Corporate America one StarFucks at a time.
I'd like to meet:
Sluts, dopefiends, crackheads, nymphos, hornswagglers, shit eaters, tag teamers, jim beamers, rear reamers, cleveland steamers, broken femurs, starry-eyed dreamers, coffee with creamers, colored streamers, pants ripping at the seamers, endangered lemurs, and pornstar screamers
Try and top that list.
Music:
TOOL, The Beatles, System of a Down, Interpol, Rage Against the Machine, Korn, Matisyahu, Tenacious D, A Perfect Circle, AC/DC, Beach Boys, Pink Floyd, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, The Doors, Steve Miller Band, Grateful Dead, Red Hot Chili Peppers, stellastarr*, Editors, Dave Matthews Band, Radiohead, Deftones, Blink 182, Incubus, Stone Temple Pilots, Deftones, Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Outkast, Bone Thugs, Dr. Dre, Thursday, Bob Marley, Steel Pulse, Slightly Stoopid, Beastie Boys, Jazz, Funk, Trippy. No Country Music Allowed.
Movies:
Anchorman, Blazing Saddles, American Beauty, Animal House, Kill Bill, Fear and Loathing, Pulp Fiction, The Usual Suspects, Star Wars, Ghostbusters, My Cousin Vinny, Forrest Gump, City of God, Ed Wood, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Fight Club, Airplane!, Wayne's World, Spanglish, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, All other Adam Sandler movies, James Bond movies, Rob Schneidly pictures (deuce bigalow, hot chick, etc), Home Alone, Heavyweights, Little Giants, Down Periscope, Old School, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, Tommy Boy, Austin Powers, South Park, Spider-man, Reservoir Dogs, Jerry Maguire, Clockwork Orange, Super Troopers, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks 2, Big Lebowski, Office Space, Half Baked, Elf, PCU, Bill and Ted, Kung Fu Hustle, Batman Begins, Wedding Crashers, 40 Year Old Virgin, Beerfest, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, V for Vendetta, Borat
Television:
Arrested Development, Seinfeld, LOST, Sopranos, Heroes, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Chapelle's Show, The Office, Entourage, Weeds, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Ali G, Daily Show, Colbert Report, South Park, SNL, Sealab, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Futurama, Stella, Conan, Iron Chef, Mad Money with Jim Cramer, Around the Horn, Pardon the Interruption
Books:
Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell Them, America: The Book, Harry Potter, Moneyball, House of the Spirits, The Game, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Stinky Cheese Man, KILLROY!
Heroes:
John Lennon, Martin Luther King Jr, Conan O'Brien, Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and any other superhero ending in the word man (excluding Aquaman.... actually I take that back, he's a seaman!)