Amos - ProfilesArchive

About Me

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After entering the guiness book of records at the tender age of 3 as the worlds youngest alcholic my mother decided to sell me to a russian sailor claiming I was a trained helper monkey(I was an abnormally hairy child).I spent the next five years traveling the red light districts of the world with Vladimir until at the age of 8 I lost all of the hair on my body in a freak accident involving a donkey, four car batteries, five gallons of KY jelly & shamu the trained whale(anyone wishing to see photos can obtain the for a moderate fee on any good beastiality web site)at this point Vladimir realised I was not a talking monkey as he had belived and promptly stranded me at the next stop. All of these experiences have helped me progress to become head gimp at battersea home for the elderly so as the saying gos every cloud has a silver lining! oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY oNe By OnE tHe PeNGuInS StEaL mY SaNitY

My Interests

I enjoy knitting, train spotting, hikes in the country side and having 12" black dildos shoved up my ass by eldery gentlemen (no one under 70 please any younger than that is just sick). I have also developed a deep affection for whales after my experiences with shamu.

I'd like to meet:

Pretty much anyone. As a professional gimp I don't have the chance to get out of the cupbord where I am kept much and when I do the zipper on my PVC face mask makes conversation difficult.

Music:

I mostly listen to `70's wokka chokka music as this makes up the soundtrack to the cheap porn my keeper watches

Movies:

I particually enjoyed chocolate starwars, shaving ryans privates, crack whores of america, debbie does dallas, lord of my ring, nurses in heat, toppless brain surgoens beverly hills 9021Ho, Edward penis hands, riDICKulous, Abbs of cum, dead men don't wear rubbers, Rimmerama, teabagger, sex starved fuck sluts 22 & 23,

Television:

Unfortunatly I don't have a TV in the cupbord where i'm kept so my viewing habits are limited

Books:

While not much of a reader myself I am currently working on my own book (hey if Jodie Marsh can do it) unfortunatly I have been slightly hindered by my inability to read but I have been assured by everyone who I've shown it to that it is possiably the best work of mine they have ever read and as soon as i get time i fully intend to post extracts on here

Heroes:

Fred the gimp as well as that gimp in pulp fiction, I also deeply respect the wornderful works performed by Kofi Annan who was the first gimp to fit 20 gerbils up his keeper ass (I understand he later went on to so kind of minor role in politics it's amazing where the skills learned as a professional gimp can lead you!!!)