I am a hairy bastard, such that I am often compared to a gorilla. I have my objections, but the fact that I like the taste of bananas merely adds clarity to this comparison. Bugger.
Right. It's about time i rewrote this load of crap since it's been getting a little stale - a bit like a certain Sandwich i know (...wink wink nudge nudge say no more):P - Perhaps I should write the stereotypical teenage lad's 'about me' section: I like going to parties hanging out with mates and getting pissed and girls and boobs. The thing is, it is true that I like all of these things; especially the boobies BUT that would make me look FAR too unsophisticated. No girl would be interested in THAT self-portrayal....Would they?? If you are then please assume that I like getting shitfaced and think (your) boobs are quality.
I might go for the slightly sophisticated features with a bit of trendy features. I'll still use some badass words such as 'yo' and 'shizzle' because I'm bitchin, but I might use some more sophisticated words like......Sophisticated. That's right, I'm a crazy arse mo-fo.
I love meeting people who are on the same wavelength as me, or 'in the zone'; Mind you who doesn't? I'm currently doing a degree in Mechanical Engineering because it's interesting and it makes me sound cool, intelligent and ambitious, rather than some idiot who writes big long paragraphs on his myspace profile...
But more importantly funk is brilliant, James Brown, The Commodores, Parliament, Level42, Tower Of Power and Average White Band are awesome and Bad Sandwich are the best.
But seriously...
You Are Fozzie Bear
"Wocka! Wocka!"
You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.
If only your routine didn't always bomb!
You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.
The Muppet Personality Test
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Odd Facts about ME
DO YOU SNORE?: Yes, like Mt. Versuvius..
LOVER OR A FIGHTER?: Neither. I'm a funkster.
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?: Fear itself :P.
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?: HELL YEAH k-nex is RUBBISH
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?: It's full of bastards. Like your house. OOOOHH harsheties...
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?: Yeah. And pen lids.
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?: No I was a fat heffa, as much as my mother would say otherwise :P
HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?: Don't really know otherwise....
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?: white and black keys with a grey framework. I like using the electric piano sounds myself....
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?: If I'm in a funky mood.
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?: No way - where's the funk in that?
ANY SECRET TALENTS?: Singing i guess. Although I'm no Stevie Wonder(s where you are). I guess my most natural instrument is the bass
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?: Heaven. Stairway's still undergoing maintenance though...
HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?: No. If i'm ever about to, I always assume something fishy's going on.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?: No but some stupid peter rabbit bastard type thing's in it isn't it?
DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?: Numa Numa ei!!
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?: Depends who you are. If you were Gene Simmonds I doubt it would be many.
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?: Very slowly, probably :P.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?: Yes. Oh and the film by that name is HILARIOUS.
ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?: No they're bloody itchy.
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?: It kills wild animals. Via big guns.
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?: Well it sure as hell 'aint now.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?: It's ok for a lefty, but spazzes out ALL OVER THE PLACE towards the end of a long exam.
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?: Bullshit.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU": Probably last time I was pissedicated
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?: Not as far as statistical evidence is concerned.
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?: I've been to one and I didn't cry. Oh, sorry. No.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?: Laid by chickens.
ARE BLONDES DUMB?: They can be.
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?: On your FACE.
WHAT TIME IS IT?: Dinner time!!! RRREEEEAAAAARRR!!!!
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?: Lil' Bro, Gorilla Features and Bastard Eyes.
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?: Yes. and it's full of bastards.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?: Couple of days ago.
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?: Showers. Baths do NOT wake you up enough in the morning. Oh and it's just the safest place to be sent to sleep in isn't it...BASTARDS.
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?: About as real as my Bugatti Veyron.
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?: Only slightly....Only slightly...
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?: BOOBIES!
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?: Neither both taste like sin.
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN ON AN AMBULANCE?: Yeah and I did a kickflip on it.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?: Once.
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?: If you don't want to take any drugs then it's advisable.
ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?: Uhuh.
HAVE YOU EVER HITCH HIKED?: Yes across the galax....No.
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?: Poo colour.
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Playing Crackdown. GOD it's hilarious.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?: Hmmm it's good alright, but it needs a bit of parmesan.
WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?: Out of who? Tom and Jerry? Tom defo.
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?: I knew you were going to ask that....
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?: Haven't even heard of it. Until now...
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?: Bass/Keyboard/piano, guitar and the scraper.
CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?: Not really. If by that you mean stand on one then yes, yes I can.
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?: No it's full of SPIIIIIIIDERS....
DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?: No. I smile.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?: About as much as Santa Claus...
IS A DOG A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?: No dogs are bastards.
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?: Well it happens so yes.
CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?: YEAH :P
DOES YOUR MOM KNOW YOU HAVE A MYSPACE?: Yes. But Santa Claus doesn't. DON'T TELL HIM! Or he might not bring me any presents this year...
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?: About 15 packs of quavers. Me and a mate bought 24 packs and put them in a mixing bowl for fun...Don't ask...
DO YOU WEAR NAILPOLISH?: No. That's for tarts/girls.
DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?: I like everyone cos I'm so luvverly.
WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?: Oh GOD that stupid gay one about the lottery with the 'why so glum minstrel?' line. GOD don't you just want to slap that geezer right round the features!!??
DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?: No I shop at Asda.
FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?: Need you ask?? BAD SANDWICH!!
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