typical press-kit bullshit bio;
THE COMMUNION's caustic blend of savage black metal, urgent hardcore, and nightmarish lyrics has slowly been making waves in the NY underground since 2004. THE COMMUNION has made it a point to be D.I.Y.; self releasing two demos (2005's Well Played, Illuminati and 2007's Nihilism is for Lovers, the later of which was recently reviewed in METAL MANIACS), nabbing features in several underground publications, and playing numerous shows (much of them booked by Lee Altomare, one of the group's two guitarists) up and down the east coast, sharing the stage with the likes of ISKRA, RAW RADAR WAR, SALOME, DARKSIDE NYC, DEATHCYCLE, NEGATIVE REACTION, RWAKE, BLOODY PANDA, ASRA, UNEARTHLY TRANCE, and others.
THE COMMUNION recently recorded 2 tracks with drummer Tony Biscuits (formerly of SICK OF TALK and currently with DISNIHIL) for a four-way split cassette to be released on COAGULATE TAPES. The band plans to resume work on material for their first full-length entitled Kanalbrigade, as well as playing more shows.
;end of typical press-kit bullshit bio
THE COMMUNION is a six piece band from NY. we play music that's a blend of various underground metal and hardcore styles from the 80s and the 90s. we are not one of these "ironic" party bands that have co-opted metal and hardcore for their fashion shows. we exist out of a love of underground DIY music and a sick need...that's right, NEED, to make music which we feel accurately reflects not merely our musical influences, but our view of the world, the people in it, and how it effects us personally. we're not a political band. we have no affiliation with anyone but our selves. We're ugly little fuckers who are forever teetering between asylum doors and cemetery gates. this is a close to a balance as we could ever hope to find. there is no one paying our way. we do it ourselves for real. we don't pay lip-service to the underground by occasionally name-dropping semi-obscure hardcore bands like most people do nowadays. we mean it. we live it and love it.
this isn't our meal ticket...it's our life support.
THE COMMUNION doesn't do this for financial gain or to make your girlfriend feel comfortable. we don't do this because we're "entertainers" or showmen. We don't do this so you can dance. We do not exist as a prop for you to hang your scene-cred dependent ego upon. we don't do this because we're killing time or because "we can". we do this because we'd go crazy without it. because the thought of not having music in our life inspires catatonia. because we have something to offer that we're proud of. because it is something we don't get out of any other aspect of our otherwise mundane lives. it exists in us and it needs to be released. Some of you may get that, and we're more than happy to welcome you into this little world which into we have crawled. if you're like most and just don't get it, or think it's "too much", you're more than welcome to go mad trying to figure out why 6 people have decided to go about music making this way.
for all the bands/promoters who are looking for an honest band to play their shows; we're reliable and we'll play anywhere with almost anyone. we'll play basements/squats/bars/strip clubs/anything. the only thing we WON'T DO UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES is pay-to-play or "sell tickets". that practice is anathema to us. we don't care if we make a dime at a show, but we're certainly not going to pay you for something we did. so if that's what your trip is, don't bother contacting us at all. also, if you are an upstart underground label contacting us about being on a payola compilation, do not waste your time. We understand how hard money can be to come by these days (trust us), and if you're clever enough to get bands to pay you up to 200 dollars to be on a compilation, than more power to you, but we have no interest whatsoever in paying you to be on a record. at all. ever. that's not what music is about for us. and pardon us if we should offend, but your intentions, much like pay-to-play and/or "selling tickets" to shows, strike us as being very sketchy...but we digress. We have enough expenses without paying you to be on a cd that may or may not sell. thanks very much.
HOSPITALITY RIDER
The Communion
Dressing Room Catering
Six (6) Roller Derby Girls clad in alternating lace/edible panties each holding One (1) platter of ostrich burgers
Fifteen (15) 19 inch wide 6 inch deep bowls of peanut butter soup
Four (4) Fire Hoses that spray a rich blend of light and dark turkey gravy (for our nourishment, but mostly to douse the roller derby girls as they wrestle until adequate arousal is met on all of our parts)
Twenty Eight (28) pieces of brown construction paper soaked in a mix of rock candy and goat urine
One (1) washtub filled with Weight-Gain powder
One (1) 1950s jukebox that plays Steven Wright jokes
One (1) Dead Dane Cook
Solid Gold toilets for every corner of the room
One (1) Catholic Girls Choir to sing "You Belong to the City" as we weep into Buffalo Chili served on 3 Stooges commemorative plates
Thirty Two (32) Twelve (12) Packs of Imported Sounding Beer placed in a Wooden Kimono
Five (5) copies each of Dr. Giggles, Happy Birthday to Me and Silent Night, Deadly Night part 3 on VHS
One (1) Book about Hitler, but not about the Nazis
Six (6) Marble Columns carved in the shape of Kate Bekinsale's Body Double in Underworld: Evolution's legs.
Dressing Room Settings
Must resemble the inside of whale. the rib-bones must be bleached until our reflections make us look like female body builders. the sprinkler system must spray cold cherry 7-Up. The fire alarm must make a sound similar to a cork being shot out of a trannie's mutilated orifice followed by a scream of "Pickle Surprise!"..but Heaven Help You is we find any actual pickles in our room.