KNIFEHAMMER

I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4BORN FROM THE ASHES OF A HIGHWAY PILE UP, KNIFEHAMMER WAS FORMED IN MAY OF 1987, FOLLOWING A HEAD ON COLLISION BETWEEN THE TOUR BUS'S OF LEGENDARY METAL GODS CHEWING HORSES AND INFAMOUS PSYCHO PUNKS THE FISTING PANDA'S. AFTER TWO YEARS OF PHYSIO THERAPY AND RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY, THE NEWLY FORMED SUPERGROUP WAS READY TO ROCK, AND SET OUT TO RECORD THEIR FIRST ALBUM, NICE TRUCK. SALES WERE POOR, AND THE BAND WENT ON SHORT TERM HIATUS, DURING WHICH TIME THERE WAS A CHEWING HORSES REUNION TOUR. ALSO DURING THIS TIME, CAPTAIN BUK BUK AND MR. BROWN TOWN CHOSE TO LEAVE THE SECT. THEIR SPOTS WERE FILLED BY THE SEX VACUUM ON DRUMS, AND FATHER PHALLUS, WHO TOOK THE ROLE OF FRONT MAN. KNIFEHAMMER WROTE AND TOURED EXTENSIVELY BETWEEN 1991 - 1997, RELEASING THREE ALBUMS : HOOKED ON COLONICS, URINE NATION, AND JAPANESE BREAKTHROUGH HIT WHITE THRASH. THINGS WERE GOING GREAT UNTIL THE TRAGIC HORSE RAMPAGE DEATH OF THE SEX VACUUM DURING A LIBENIZER STALLION SHOW IN TORONTO. KNIFEHAMMER AGAIN ENTERED STASIS AS FATHER PHALLUS, STATIC RAZOR AND YOUTH JIHAD PONDERED WHAT TO DO. THEIR QUESTIONS WERE ANSWERED BY THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN BUK BUK, WHO BREATHED FRESH LIFE INTO THE CULT. ENERGY AND ENTHUSIASM WERE AT AN ALL TIME HIGH, AND THE FLOORS RAN WITH SPILT BEER AND BLOOD AS KNIFEHAMMER AGAIN RAMPAGED THE STAGE. KNIFEHAMMER RELEASED THEIR FIFTH STUDIO ALBUM, PRECIOUS METAL, AND BEGAN AN EXTENSIVE TOUR OF EASTERN EUROPE AND ASIA THAT LASTED 17 MONTHS. THE TOUR ENDED WHEN CAPTAIN BUK BUK LOST HIS ARM IN A SWORD FIGHT WITH A MEMBER OF FINNISH BLACK METAL BAND GOREPUKER. KNIFEHAMMER WAS INCOMPLETE ONCE AGAIN. IT WAS PROPHESIZED THAT THE METAL ATTACK MUST STRIKE FORTH TO OBLIVION, AND TO THAT END MR. T WAS RECRUITED TO PLAY DRUMS, AND AN ADDITIONAL AXMEN, THE MOORE, WAS ENSLAVED. MR. T'S POWERFUL DRUMMING AND THE MOORES SAVAGERY CREATED A KNIFEHAMMER MORE POWERFUL AND VICIOUS THEN EVER BEFORE. AFTER A YEAR OF HECTIC BATTLE, MR.T WAS REUNITED WITH THE A-TEAM, AND IS NOW SECRETLY OPERATING UNDERCOVER IN AN OTTAWA VALLEY PUPPY MILL INVESTIGATION. BEREFT, KNIFEHAMMER CALLED UPON THE FORCES OF DARKNESS, AND SOLD THEIR SOULS TO LUCIFER, WHO NOW DRUMS SKULLS IN A HUMAN FORM ASSUMED FOR THAT PURPOSE. CAPTAIN BUK BUK HAS SINCE ACQUIRED A HIGH TECH ROBOTIC ARM, AND, PREACHING THE MOTTO " METAL IS STRONGER THAN BONE" HAS BEEN KNOWN TO GRACE THE STAGE WITH KNIFEHAMMER OCCASIONALLY. HE IS ALSO INVOLVED IN A NEWLY FORMED GROUP WITH MR. BROWNTOWN, LYLE LOVETT AND JONNY RICK. KNIFEHAMMER WILL EITHER KILL YOU OR GIVE YOU AN ONSTAGE VASECTOMY IN THE NAME OF VOLUNTARY HUMAN EXTINCTION. FEAR US!