My birthday present; you're all off the hook again! |
It's true; another year has come to pass and it looks as though my youthful dreams of living fast, dying young, and leaving a beautiful corpse behind are not in the cards. It appears that I'm in it fo...
Posted by Craig Lima on Sat, 07 Oct 2006 04:06:00 PST |
God love them immigrants! |
I love immigrants. Say what you want about them; the Asians cant drive, the Mexicans have babies like rabbits on Viagra, East Indian women have uni-brows and untamed muffs that are legendary ev...
Posted by Craig Lima on Fri, 20 Jan 2006 09:49:00 PST |
Crazy chick STEALS MY SOUL! |
I have been trying for years to get MUNI to change its name to CHAROITS OF THE DAMNED. Sure, its not as catchy as MUNI but its a lot closer to the true picture of what youre in for.
Two days...
Posted by Craig Lima on Fri, 09 Sep 2005 06:07:00 PST |
The Exorcism of Emily Rose is sooo scary... If you're a MORON. |
BASED ON A TRUE STORY!
Its the phrase that snares the gullible rube every time. And here we are being pounded with it again. If P.T. Barnum had been a movie producer, hed of no doubt coin...
Posted by Craig Lima on Thu, 01 Sep 2005 11:08:00 PST |
BASTIONS OF GHETTO-DOM |
POPEYES CHICKEN
All clichés and stereotypes aside, it does seem that fried chicken holds an almost mystical appeal to those a...
Posted by Craig Lima on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
SEARCHING FOR SEX WITH THE HOMELESS? |
Do you yearn for sex with the homeless? Have a fetish for the filthy? Do you long to penetrate the unwashed, crust-addled anus of a shopping cart pilot? Crave coitus with the criminally insane an...
Posted by Craig Lima on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
VEGAS; nudity, sham-Elvis matrimonies, and sub-standard bowling! |
The first thing I noticed upon arriving in Vegas was the full-frontal assault of advertising; bells, whistles, neon, slot machines everywhere. Hell, even the taxi from the airport squawked incessantly...
Posted by Craig Lima on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
Some little sissy is about to get his ASS BEAT! |
As I'm logging on to this site today, I see an ad for "Revolt-Revolt Clothing".
Without even clicking on it, I already know who this is aimed at;
Your perfectly-messed-up hair, white belt and women'...
Posted by Craig Lima on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
SOME SHIT THAT CONFOUNDS ME |
ELDERLY CRACKHEADS. Im not talking about your burn-out 40 year old neighbor who still does coke on the weekends here; Im talking about honest to God old ass motherfuckers who are out hittin the pip...
Posted by Craig Lima on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
LORD HELP ME!...I CANT STOP EATING KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN! |
Look, I know they raise their chickens in inhumane conditions. I know that those chickens have more artificial hormones than a female bodybuilder.
I know Colonel Sanders was probably a slave owner, ...
Posted by Craig Lima on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
