Commissioner Cod

IN THE BEGINING, TWO MASSIVE THINGS GOT SMASHED TOGETHER AND THERE WAS A 'BIG BANG', FOLLOWED BY LOTS OF EXPANSION INVOLVING QUARKS AND BLACK HOLES AND QUANTUM STUFF. ONE OF THE STARS TURNED INTO A SUPERNOVA AND EXPLODED THEN REFORMED AS A SUN THAT WAS NOT AS HOT OR BRIGHT. ALL THE SPARE BITS OF STAR MADE A DARK DARK EARTH. AND THEN...................... DOWN A DARK DARK STREET, IN A DARK DARK HOUSE, IN A DARK DARK ROOM, DOWN SOME DARK DARK STAIRS, BEHIND A DARK DARK DOOR LIVED THREE FUNNYBONES, THE SMALL ONE, THE ONE WITH THE HAT, THE DOG ONE, AND ME, AND DOGTANION AND THE 3 MUSKAHOUNDS AND ALSO ALBERT THE 5th MUSKETEER. COMPOSER, GUITARIST, BASS GUITARIST, EXTREMELY SENSIBLE AND ARTICULATE YOUNG ADULT. GOT A BAND CALLED 'SQUIDJeLLY'. ALL THE ARTISTéS INVOLVED ARE STALLIONS BUT I'M STALLION NUMBER ONE, FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY HUGGY. ALSO WRITE LOTS OF PIANEE MUSIC AND READ LOADS OF COMPLEXATED JAZZZ THEORY. LEARNING JAPANESE, DOING AN OPEN UNIVERSITY COURSE IN HUMANITIES, LIKE STILTON, AND FRAZZLES, AND PEOPLE DOING IMPRESSIONS OF ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER(BUT NOT ONES FROM OUT OF THE TERMINATOR FILMS(EVERYONE DOES THEM)). WATCH TOO MUCH ANIME . ONCE I BROKE MY ARM WITH MY OWN HEAD(AND KNOCKED MYSELF OUT COLD AT THE SAME TIME). WHAT I REALLY LIKE DOING IN MY SPARE TIME IS LOOKING AT PEOPLES BOOKCASES AND ADMIRING ALL THE SPINES ON THE BOOKS, IT HELPS ME GAUGE HOW CULTURED, LITERATE AND INFORMED PEOPLE ARE, AND THEREFORE I CAN CONNECT AND SEE THROUGH PEOPLES MONSTROUS, UGLY EXTERIORS AND INTO THEIR HEARTS OR THIER IMAGINATIONS OR SOMETHING . SOME MIGHT EVEN SAY THAT I HAVE A 'THING' FOR SEEING PEOPLES INSIDES(I CALL IT MY ENDOSCOPE). I JUST MADE THAT LAST BIT UP AND IM GOING 2 CHANGE THE SUBJECT NOW BECAUSE TOO MANY IMMATURE JOKES ARE FLOATING AROUND IN MY HEAD(HEHEHE "FLOAT"). oH R8 YEH, IM GINGER AS WELL, BUT IN CERTAIN LIGHT I CAN COME ACROSS AS A VERY VIBRANT STRAWBERRY BLONDE. THIS IS REMEDIED BY MY VERY NEAT EYEBROWS. IM NOT WELSH, DESPITE THE RUMOURS, AND THE 'R' STANDS FOR ROBERT. AT THE MINUTE I'M LISTENING 2 BJORK AND TRYING 2 REMEMBER WHETHER THE SUGARCUBES WERE ANY GOOD? ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HEARD THEM. ALL YOUR BASE DOESNT BELONG TO ME, ONLY ABOUT TWO THIRDS, THE REST I LOST IN A COURT CUSTODY CASE, BUT I WILL SET YOU UP THE BOMB. WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE AN ASTRONAUT OR A BURGLAR.------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ -------If I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Sergei Rakhmaninov.

I lived in the early Twentieth Century and was well known for my compositional, conducting, and piano skills, yet I am melancholy despite this talent. My famous works include my nearly-impossible piano concerti.

Who would you be?