Hi my name is john major. I like everything to do with consvatives especially edwina curry. ding dong. tony blair is a bitch messing with my baby cameron. now he's worth it...
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Sir John Roy Major
Birthday: March 29th 1943
Birthplace: Sutton (rhymes with mutton)
Current Location: Incognito
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: grey with flecks of white
Height: Sore point, I wanted to be a bus conductor but I was rejected due to height regulations
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: British
The Shoes You Wore Today: I can tell you who's shoes I wouldn't like to be in, ahem Tony ahem
Your Weakness: I can’t say no to a nice Currie on the way home from the pub
Your Fears: The repercussions of one to many Curries
Your Perfect Pizza: Pizza with Currie
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: This year it’s Lizzie’s tern to be hit with my sword (role reversal mwahahah)
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: ‘Liberal action’ ‘scallywag’ “bastards".
Thoughts First Waking Up: Whatever knowledgeable insights into the global economy that pop into my head
Your Best Physical Feature: The garter Lizzie gave me
Your Bedtime: I NEVER sleep
Your Most Missed Memory: my grandma
Pepsi or Coke: What? pardon? who
MacDonalds or Burger King: " "
Single or Group Dates: I like a lot of women
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Earl Grey
Chocolate or Vanilla:
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee
Do you Smoke: only when out drug taking,drinking, brawling
Do you Swear: Never! What have those bastard people from the observer being spreading, the c**nting, f**king . . .
Do you Sing: Long live our noble queen etc etc
Do you Shower Daily: I have showered with many beautiful women
Have you Been in Love: " "
Do you want to go to College: I’m a chancellor BIYYAAACCCH
Do you want to get Married: again?
Do you belive in yourself: You don’t get the queens garter without a little self-belief
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: yes
Are you a Health Freak: I jog
Do you get along with your Parents: They are too controlling!
Do you like Thunderstorms: should I?
Do you play an Instrument: banjo
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I like a tipple
In the past month have you Smoked: I’m fond of cherry tobacco
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No comment
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No comment
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: I love cricket
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No comment
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I'm staying faithful to my wife this time
In the past month have you been on Stage: I’ve done a number of very important things
In the past month have you been Dumped: No comment
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No comment
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No comment
Ever been Drunk: No comment
Ever been called a Tease: No comment
Ever been Beaten up: No comment
Ever Shoplifted: No comment
How do you want to Die: Assassinated
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Excuse me! I’ve DONE everything
What country would you most like to Visit: And been EVERYWHERE and DONE EVERYONE
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Brown
Favourite Hair Color: Dark
Short or Long Hair: short
Height: 4 ft
Weight: I like a nice pair
Best Clothing Style: Funky
Number of Drugs I have taken: =2{6+634/9} - 3/8 (is that a real equation? if so I'm a very clever little man)
Number of CDs I own: I hear selfish c**nt's stuff is pretty rancid
Number of Piercings: No comment
Number of Tattoos: yes No Comment
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I once called three of my own cabinet members "bastards". That was a laugh.
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