The Shelf profile picture

The Shelf

Why go to the park and fly a kite when you can just pop a pill??

About Me

What do you need to know about me??? Hmmmm.......Monkeys are funny to me, especially if they can talk....I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys-R-Us kid....I wish I knew how to breakdance....When I was younger, a lama ate my shoe at the zoo....Some people call me a space cowboy....My Dad told me once when I was younger that he invented the question mark....I like lightning bugs....I grew up in Indiana and if you listen closely, you can detect some Indiana twang in my voice....George Clinton uses the same bank as me....I invented the Crunch Wrap Supreme at Taco Bell....I'm a Seinfeld trivia master....I used to be obsessed with The Weather Channel....My dogs who have passed away were named Brownie and Snickers....I always drink apple juice on the plane when I fly....I've had my heart broken way too many times....I like to wear Adidas shoes....I met Tyra Banks one time (update - I've met her twice now)....I was once a member of a hip-hop/metal group called Speakers Of The Popular Front....I want to learn how to surf....Cornfields scare me....I used to have lip sync concerts in my living room when was younger and performed the hits of Huey Lewis & The News....My shoe size is a 13....I used to create a crappy haunted house in my garage when I was younger....I think I'm officially in love with Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles....My favorite candy bar is Whatchamacallit....I once went to a country music club in Indiana where I had to sit on a bale of hay instead of a chair....There was a crazy old man in my neighborhood that used to throw apples at me and my friends when we rode by on our bikes....I used to have to go around the country doing paternity tests when I worked at The Jenny Jones Show....I write poetry....I met a guy one time named "One Eyed Willie" aka "Patch" and he gave me a speech about the importance of safe sex....I once rolled around in a pile of red fire ants to impress a girl when I was 5 years old....I'm a hopeless romantic....I fell down a sand dune when I was 14 years old....I like tuna and cottage cheese (but not together)....I can make a mean omlette if I put my mind to it....I went to school with a kid named Brett Swett....I liked Menace II Society better than Boys N Tha Hood....I don't think I'm going to ever grow my hair out again....I was on the Spell Bowl team in middle school....I like my pockets fat and not flat....The first album I ever memorized front to back was "It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back" by Public Enemy....I like apple pie with ice cream on top....Fuck singing - I like to dance in the shower....If you're nice to me, I might share some of my music with you....I can be very sarcastic....My favorite cereal is Apple Jacks....My Mom used to drag me to coupon meetings (yes, coupon meetings) when I was younger....My friends Kevin & Matt say that I flail my arms too much....I've got crazy Tetris skills....It's up to you to figure out what's true, what's not true, and what's embellished (most of it's true though, I'll tell you that much)....think of it as a game called - The Life Of Tony aka DJ Ghost........... ..

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My Interests

Music, poetry, scary movies, concerts, ping pong, working out, video games, sports, cooking, laughing at people who fall down, sneezing, coughing, Seinfeld, monkeys, and more monkeys..........

Movies:

Again, there are a lot....I'm a big Horror movie fan, so I'll start there....Grindhouse, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Candyman, Saw 1,2,&3, Dead Alive, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original), The Descent, Devil's Rejects, Ginger Snaps, May, Audition, Battle Royale, It, The Exorcist, Shaun Of The Dead, Dawn Of The Dead (original), 28 Days Later, From Dusk Till Dawn, Cabin Fever, Hostel, Evil Dead 1&2, Hills Have Eyes (remake), Slither, The Omen, Frailty, Blade 1&2, The Lost Boys, American Psycho, Roman....more to come....Drama - Kill Bill 1&2, True Romance, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Reservoir Dogs, Lucky Number Slevin, Oldboy, Sympathy For Mr. Vengence, Sympathy For Lady Vengence, Platoon, Blow, Snatch, Requiem For A Dream, The Godfather 1&2, Sleepy Hollow, Full Metal Jacket, Carlito's Way, Scarface, Unforgiven, Children Of Men, The Host, Juice, Menace II Society, King of New York, Shawshank Redemption, NARC, American History X, The Professional (Leon), 25th Hour, The Departed, Seven, Fargo, Mystic River, Half Nelson, Crank, Boogie Nights, Man On Fire, Bronx Tale, Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Proposition....more to come....Comedy - Naked Gun, Borat, How High, CB4, Kung Fu Hustle, Airplane, Napoleon Dynamite, Blazing Saddles, The Goonies, Teen Wolf, Breakfast Club, Weird Science, 16 Candles, American Graffiti, Porky's, Bachelor Party, Police Academy, Don't Be A Menace To South Central, Caddyshack, The Jerk, Thank You For Smoking, Strangers With Candy, Swingers, Old School, Office Space, Cannibal The Musical, Animal House, Troma movies....

Television:

I'll keep it short.....24, Prison Break, House, Family Guy, American Dad, My Name Is Earl, The Office, The Simpsons, Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Chappelle's Show, Seinfeld reruns, UFC, Masters Of Horror, The Wire, Arrested Development, CSI, Law & Order...oh yeah, and I get down with sports too.........

Books:

I really need to get back into reading more.....but here's a short list of what I've read somewhat recently - Cell, American Psycho, Can't Stop Won't Stop, The Lost, The Girl Next Door, The Davinci Code, Scar Tissue.........

Heroes:

My Parents....Jam Master Jay and Terminator X....System Of A Down....Nachos......

My Blog

For those of you who have been patiently waiting (especially Mary)........

..........you get another one of my blogtastic blogs!!! Rejoice! Rejoice I say!!!!!!I took some time off to build one of those houses out of a deck of cards and needless to say, it didn't work out.....
Posted by The Shelf on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 08:19:00 PST

Gettin our bells rocked.......

Wow.....we survived Rock The Bells and even though I should be napping and dreaming of meatball subs, I'm going to give you a sneak peek into my world that was yesterday.....It all started innocently ...
Posted by The Shelf on Sun, 12 Aug 2007 02:44:00 PST

The disease that is - "Party Like A Rock Star"

I swear to the heavens - if I have my alarm clock go off one more time in the morning playing the atrocity that is "Party Like A Rock Star", my head just might literally explode.......I haven't despis...
Posted by The Shelf on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 03:35:00 PST

4th Of July Party Posse.........

After some begging and pleading - I finally gave into the pressure and decided to have a last minute 4th Of July extravaganza......and of course, there was no shortage of award winning moments......so...
Posted by The Shelf on Fri, 06 Jul 2007 09:20:00 PST

The old guys in the club......

Finally made it up to Chicago on my brief trip home......driving around in my Mom's Betty Boop license plated car, bumpin the sweet sounds of Fleetwood Mac, I picked up my friend Matt and headed to ou...
Posted by The Shelf on Thu, 21 Jun 2007 12:21:00 PST

It's the four fingers up and two twisted in the middle..........

Hmmm.......what a crazy ass couple of weeks.......for those that don't know, I moved out to LA to work for the Tyra Banks Show. And for those that still don't know, Tyra decided to move to NY and tak...
Posted by The Shelf on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 07:23:00 PST

So.....I watched The View this morning......

..........ummmm..........yeah..........when is hiatus over again??? I'm trying to balance it out by watching UFC right now.......but I have a strong fear that I will be awoken by a giant, two-headed ...
Posted by The Shelf on Fri, 11 May 2007 10:53:00 PST

Best Grindhouse experience......ever........

Wow.......I've been waiting to see Grindhouse since I heard it was being developed and I finally got my chance tonight........but did I expect how the night would play out?? I think not.........I kne...
Posted by The Shelf on Sat, 07 Apr 2007 02:07:00 PST

So....I got in an argument with Kid from Kid N' Play.....

Ahhh.....here we go.....one for the books indeed......so anyway, I was sippin on a frosty, cold beer at our local after-work hangout spot Woodranch celebrating the end of Season 2 at the Tyra Banks Sh...
Posted by The Shelf on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 08:11:00 PST

Grape pop.....and why I love it.......

Yes.....I love grape pop......and yes, I call it pop......not soda.......so get off my back about that shit........Me and my friend Terrell (or Ty-rell as Paul likes to call him....) like to fight for...
Posted by The Shelf on Wed, 21 Mar 2007 10:24:00 PST