The Shelf

What do you need to know about me??? Hmmmm.......Monkeys are funny to me, especially if they can talk....I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys-R-Us kid....I wish I knew how to breakdance....When I was younger, a lama ate my shoe at the zoo....Some people call me a space cowboy....My Dad told me once when I was younger that he invented the question mark....I like lightning bugs....I grew up in Indiana and if you listen closely, you can detect some Indiana twang in my voice....George Clinton uses the same bank as me....I invented the Crunch Wrap Supreme at Taco Bell....I'm a Seinfeld trivia master....I used to be obsessed with The Weather Channel....My dogs who have passed away were named Brownie and Snickers....I always drink apple juice on the plane when I fly....I've had my heart broken way too many times....I like to wear Adidas shoes....I met Tyra Banks one time (update - I've met her twice now)....I was once a member of a hip-hop/metal group called Speakers Of The Popular Front....I want to learn how to surf....Cornfields scare me....I used to have lip sync concerts in my living room when was younger and performed the hits of Huey Lewis & The News....My shoe size is a 13....I used to create a crappy haunted house in my garage when I was younger....I think I'm officially in love with Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles....My favorite candy bar is Whatchamacallit....I once went to a country music club in Indiana where I had to sit on a bale of hay instead of a chair....There was a crazy old man in my neighborhood that used to throw apples at me and my friends when we rode by on our bikes....I used to have to go around the country doing paternity tests when I worked at The Jenny Jones Show....I write poetry....I met a guy one time named "One Eyed Willie" aka "Patch" and he gave me a speech about the importance of safe sex....I once rolled around in a pile of red fire ants to impress a girl when I was 5 years old....I'm a hopeless romantic....I fell down a sand dune when I was 14 years old....I like tuna and cottage cheese (but not together)....I can make a mean omlette if I put my mind to it....I went to school with a kid named Brett Swett....I liked Menace II Society better than Boys N Tha Hood....I don't think I'm going to ever grow my hair out again....I was on the Spell Bowl team in middle school....I like my pockets fat and not flat....The first album I ever memorized front to back was "It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back" by Public Enemy....I like apple pie with ice cream on top....Fuck singing - I like to dance in the shower....If you're nice to me, I might share some of my music with you....I can be very sarcastic....My favorite cereal is Apple Jacks....My Mom used to drag me to coupon meetings (yes, coupon meetings) when I was younger....My friends Kevin & Matt say that I flail my arms too much....I've got crazy Tetris skills....It's up to you to figure out what's true, what's not true, and what's embellished (most of it's true though, I'll tell you that much)....think of it as a game called - The Life Of Tony aka DJ Ghost........... ..

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