Johnny Thundercat [Is Liscenced]

Count Zaparah: The Full Story

It was a warm and sunny day out in New York, which was a big change for once. Carrie the mother pigeon sat on her four eggs in the nest to keep them warm; the time has almost come for them to hatch. Days pass by and Carrie was very patient, waiting day in and day out hoping the next day would bring her babies to the new world. August 12, 1937 the pigeons hatched. The first egg to hatch unearthed a beautiful mess of feathers and bare skin. David was his name. He was the biggest and bulkiest of them all weighing about 12 pounds. Maggie came next, she was light and flimsy she had most of her feathers on her, she was the pretty one. Ian came third. He was slightly mentally challenged and could barely lift his head up. Last came the most hideous creature to ever hatch from an egg. A beast with a beak, a tail, and claws; the body like a lion and the head like a vulture. It was a griffin. Count Monalith Zaparah was his name. Carrie raised all the babies to do as she did; they were a family of messenger pigeons, owned by Paul. Carrie taught them the way to fly and the art of carrying mail. David was by far the best at delivering, sending up to twelve messages a day! Count Zaparah on the other hand was not so good at it; he would constantly engulf the envelope in flames, or eat the package. Maggie was swift delivering the mail quickly and safely never dropping or harming a package. Ian fell to his death trying to fly his first time, no one really cared. Every day Carrie, David, Maggie, and Count Zaparah would deliver Paul’s mail to other people all over New York. One day Count Zaparah was being made fun of for his oddly shaped body and his large talons. So he flew away to Antarctica. That’s where he met Oswald the penguin. Oswald couldn’t fly and taught Count Zaparah life lessons. One of which he’d never forget. “All animals on this earth are born to do different tasks. Each animal is entirely unique in his or her own way giving to the world what God has given them. So find your talent Count and use it to use it to benefit all of mankind.” “What about Ian? What was his purpose?” “He was an accident. You see, sometimes things don’t turn out the way they should have; usually their death is the thing benefiting mankind. However, some mishaps are good, not most.” With the newborn courage filling Count, he traveled the world. He first took off to Australia, he spent two years there, surfing and relaxing. Then he heard Oswald’s voice carrying off into his mind. He flew again this time to Mexico, that’s where he met the next important person in his life. Ms. Lysoperlya, she was a kind race horse teaching him all the things that he needs to know in sympathy and the need not to make fun of people that aren’t as capable as he was. Ms. Lysoperlya was married to Mr. Bunkake the famous race horse of the 1920’s. He was the only horse to run from California across America to the east coast, over the Atlantic Ocean, and stop in the Middle East in twelve minutes flat. Most horses do that in fourteen minutes. But one day Mr. Bunkake fell in a well and was never seen again. Count Zaparah had an overwhelming emotion that he called fiddly-pudding. Which is love as some may call it. Count Zaparah and Ms. Lysoperlya got married and had two lovely children. Both of which were by far the ugliest children to ever hatch, worse than the Count. Count Zaparah and Ms. Lysoperlya lived together for about three years, when Ms. Lysoperlya and the children died like Mr. Bunkake, in a terrible well accident. Count Zaparah was alone once again; he traveled back to New York his home to see his family. Messenger pigeons became obsolete in the past five years Count found out, and to his surprise his family made a wonderful meal to a bum named Roger. The Count never felt so alone in all his life. He was flying over the Pacific Ocean when he heard the most annoying sound ever. It was a sort of beeping sound, like the one you hear when your microwave tells you that your food is done. Count decided he’d go down and have a look. He found a large metallic round figure submerged underwater. He swam down to it to get a better look; his large talons punctured the submarine, causing it to sink. Count was in a frantic swimming all over trying to avoid the problem he just caused. He emerged out of the water and made his way to land. He sat down and was met by twenty three men. They all shook his paw and welcomed him. Count Zaparah found his meaning. He would be enlisted as an American soldier to help sink German submarines. And that’s why we won World War II.

Paradox: A family of messenger pigeons has a griffin for a child, and tries to raise him as a messenger pigeon. But griffins aren’t meant for that.

Universal Truth: Don’t underestimate the abilities of a mythological creature.