Granny Monster profile picture

Granny Monster

In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes

About Me

Quite Possibley Some Sort of Sea Creature
I make cakes. I do stupid dances. I haven't ridden a bike in years and would probably fail miserabley if I tried. I have what some people would consider a strange affinity for toilets. I dislike artichokes a great deal. My eyesight is horrible, but I don't wear glasses or contacts... although I probably should.

I think that's all you really need to know.
The End

My Interests

Tattoos, reading, going on adventures, necromance.com, things that could be made of plastic but are made of glass, music junk, piercings, anatomy, ice cream, the anatomy of ice cream, finding obscure items on ebay, chaos, abandoned buildings, road trips, forensics, toilets and outhouses, silent films and cheesy horror movies, bunnies, limeade, monsters, scheming to pluck your brain from your skull after I excite your mind with the promise of cake, oopples and banoonoos, drunken insanity, most taxidermy, art crap, robots, old books, hurting you, eating grapes like a jackass, broken things, driving around in hot weather with the windows down blasting sounds that scare the townsfolk... stuff and other things.

I'd like to meet:

A lot of robots infested with mice and people who are going to this...

Music:

Lots and lots of stuff, but here are some favorites...
Alice in Chains, Autopsy, Babes in Toyland, Bathory, Carnivore, Carcass, The Cure, Death, Destroyer 666, Dinosaur Jr, Dismember, Dissection, Doom, Emperor, Engorged, Entombed, Exhumed,, Ghoul, GWAR, Haemorrhage, Immortal, Impaled, Kreator, Kyuss, L7, Lord Gore, Ludicra, The Melvins, The Misfits, Motorhead, Municipal Waste, Pig Destroyer, Queens of the Stone Age, Rasputina, Rotten Sound, Satyricon, Siouxsie & the Banshees, Sodom, Sonic Youth, Soundgarden, Splatterhouse, Stormcrow, Toxic Holocaust, Type O Negative, Vader, Violent Femmes, Voivod, Wendy O. Williams, Wesely Willis...

Movies:

8 mm, 1991: The Year Punk Broke (not a movie but whatever), All Dogs Go to Heaven, American History X, Apocalypse Now, Apt Pupil, Army of Darkness, Brain Candy, But I'm a Cheerleader!, Cecil B. Demented, The Constant Gardener, The Dark Crystal, Donnie Darko, Freaks, From Hell, Glory, I ♥ Huckabees, Killer Klowns from Outerspace, Labyrinth, The Last Unicorn, Legend, The Lost Boys, Meet the Feebles, Metropolis, Milo and Otis, Monster Squad, My Little Pony: THE MOVIE , The Omen, Pulp Fiction, REPENETRATOR, Requiem for a Vampire, Romper Stompers, Secret of NIMH, Serial Mom, Shaun of the Dead, Son of Frankenstein, Spider Baby, Spirited Away, Suicide Club, Tank Girl, The Toxic Avenger, V for Vendetta, Vertigo, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...

Television:

Autopsy, Fraggle Rock, CSI, The Daily Show, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, Forensic Files, Cold Case Files, David the Gnome, Extreme Elimination Challenge, most of the History Channel. I really don't watch much television, though.

Books:

Alice Through the Looking Glass, Animal Farm, Apocalypse Culture, The Bell Jar, Dante's Divine Comedy, Death's Acre, Diary of a Drug Fiend, The Dictionary, The Encyclopedia of Plagues and Pestilence, Hey Nostradamus!, History of Torture, The Hour of Our Death, Invitation to a Beheading, Jane Sexes it Up, The Jungle, Life After God, Lolita, Lords of Chaos, Love is a Dog From Hell, MAUS, Our Band Could Be Your Life, Our Name is Melancholy, Post Office, Shampoo Planet, Stiff, Virgins of Venice... Fuck, I need more books!

Heroes:

Emilie du Chatelet, Wendy O. Williams, sharks, Joe Coleman, Dr. Bill Bass

My Blog

Themed Undergarments, etc.

I'm having an especially hard time getting into the holiday spirit, this year. Maybe it's because I'm not working retail and am not constantly reminded of the retarded amount of useless crap people bu...
Posted by Granny Monster on Sun, 17 Dec 2006 11:24:00 PST

It's Gonna Be A FUN FRIDAY!!!

Finally! I got a new job that I'm working full time, 9-5 mon-fri. It pays well, I get my own desk and computer (only for work related stuff, really), my co-workers are nice and we have FUN FRIDAYS!!!I...
Posted by Granny Monster on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 08:19:00 PST

It would be wrong

... if I were to deny watching Raven's (mind numbingly awesome) video for "On and On" repeatedly throughout today. It would also be wrong to deny watching Muppet Treasure Island mere moments ago and t...
Posted by Granny Monster on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 11:19:00 PST

Every day is a good day with SPAM!

Remember when people mentioned "Spam" and didn't mean junk email? Remember when the rich kids at school used to tease the less fortunate kids when they came in with Goodwill clothes and Spam sandwhich...
Posted by Granny Monster on Sat, 08 Jul 2006 06:06:00 PST

Well, I suppose...

Yesterday evening this guy gave me a link to a videoclip on YouTube.com. He's convinced this is what I was like as a child... always baking and singing and dancing with puppets. On top of that, there'...
Posted by Granny Monster on Sun, 11 Jun 2006 10:42:00 PST

Flowers are STUPID!!!

I don't want to go to work and listen to Celtic Women and elevator music! I don't want to stain my hands purple and pink with dead flower juice! I don't want spiders crawling on my face because I dist...
Posted by Granny Monster on Tue, 23 May 2006 06:04:00 PST

We're Drowning - Part Deux

There's been rain every day for about a week now. I think I saw some sort of blue sky the other day but I'm going to attribute that to wishful thinking. It's really not that bad, but it ruins my work ...
Posted by Granny Monster on Sat, 13 May 2006 05:51:00 PST

You Are Good At Blowing Job, Aren't You?

I've noticed that there has been an abundance of YouTube.com clips as of late. I figured I'd join the trend after seeing this one on the boards of SG a few days ago.Unfortunately, to view this one in ...
Posted by Granny Monster on Mon, 24 Apr 2006 10:33:00 PST

composed in a trance

I decided to delete most of my blog entries because they were pointless and made me realize what a fucktard I can be. I left only the ones I felt were important and really showcased who I am. There's ...
Posted by Granny Monster on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 12:19:00 PST

We're Drowning

We've only seen the sun a couple of times this past month, it's getting to everyone. There was no King Richard's Faire this year, no apple picking yet, no legitimate falltime fun quite yet. Sucks, aut...
Posted by Granny Monster on Tue, 25 Oct 2005 11:44:00 PST