..> Bitch is the New Black on FunnyOrDie.com ..>
www.thetarts.com
"I consider growing up Southern is a privilege. It's more than where you're born, it's an idea, a state of mind that seems imparted at birth. It's more than loving fried chicken, watermelon, iced sweet tea, baseball, chasing fireflies,and country music. It's being devoted to screen porches,tabernacles, horses, bluebonnets, Coke, and each other. We don't become Southern, we're born that way."And when the going gets tough, the tough ..... COWGIRL UP!
Hobby: shopping, shopping, shopping, buying makeup, trying to figure out which guys are batting for the other team at my gym, looking at myself in the rearview mirror, measuring my body fat, getting lost in LA, and shopping.
Sport: LA traffic- my best move is turning left at a yellow light
Basketball GO MAVS!
Store: Roberto Cavalli, Versace, Armani, Gucci, Donna Karen, Louis Vuitton, Bloomies, anything on melrose ave.
Food: authentic Greek food. anything carbs, chips, biscuits, mashed potatoes, frozen green grapes
Drink: San Pelligrino, diet Pepsi
Miller Lite in a bottle
a HUGE frozen Margarita w/ salt
CranCherry and any random cheap champagne
Jack and Diet
Vanilla Stoli and diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper,
Trader Joe's $2 Buck Chuck
CRUSHES
Bill Clinton
Steven Tyler
Emmitt Smith
Pelle Almquist
pet peeve: rude customer service people, rude drivers, rude waiters, oh heck rude people in general, people who are republicans just because their parents are, and liar, liar, pants on fires.
You Know You're From Texas When...
You see more Texan flags than American flags. You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots. You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries. You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds. You dress up to go shopping at the mall. You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree. You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor. You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken. You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards. You know what a "Cowboy Cadillac" is. You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen. You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team" You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth. You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans. Your Pastor wears boots. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin. The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Texas.
..I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours. - Clementine, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Tarts - My band!
Get this video and more at MySpace.com
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In my CD player now and pretty much always ...
Aerosmith has been my favorite band of all f'in time.
I went to my first concert of their's when I was in the 6th grade. Yeah, after that The New Kids On the Block lost all meaning to me and their posters were instantly ripped from my wall when I got home. Hey! That's a big moment for a 6th grader!!!
This is footage I found from the last concert I was at. You'd never be able to tell but I'm to the right of the fan, ront row, pressed against the stage, to the right of the chick in the hat (melissa :)
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The Hives I've been captivated by them ever since I saw them on a live late night show about 4 years ago. They put on the best live show ever.
Ipod is completely full of Rolling Stones, Elvis, Johnny Cash, Outkast, Buck Cherry, Nelly, Jay Z, Dr Dre, Pink, Buzzcocks, Ben Lee, Blue October, Bowling for Soup, Coldplay, Cream, Postal Service, Franz Ferdinand, Get Set Go, Greenday, Gwen Stefani, Kings of Leon, The Kinks, The Who, Led Zepplin, Liz Phair, Oasis, Ringside, Shakira, Tom Petty, Weezer, and Soundtrack from Grey's Anatomy.
Scarface, Shawshank Redemption, Shrek, Fahrenheit 911, Bowling for Columbine, Friday, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, 16 Candles, Pretty Woman, Pretty in Pink, Lucas, Goonies, Lost Boys, License to Drive, Dream a Little Dream, (can you tell I have a thing for 80s movies with Corey Haim in them? :) poor guy... Damnit, now I've got the Thrills song "Whatever Happened to Corey Haim" stuck in my head
..Catch-22, Animal Farm, Fahrenheit 451, Stupid White Men, My Life (Bill Clinton)... ok, ok so maybe I haven't read ALL of My Life but it's still my favorite because I got a HUG from him when he signed my book. If only he would have groped me during it damnit!
MOM
KAREN WALKER
"I'm fabulous, ok? I'm an incredible dresser, I've got buckets of money, I'm a hoot and a half, and I've got a killer rack, do you get what Im saying?"
"Gosh, I dont think that Ive ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and Ive got a KILLER rack. "
"You know I had a dream once. To be rich and beautiful and have a great body. Oh look, my dream came true."
"I am going to be SO upset when my mood elevators wear off..."