Mayat

I'm a sensitive space-case and alcoholic who's resisted the my space revolution as long as possible. I've spent most of my life somewhat disassociatively as if making a movie. Most things me are Contradictions ...shy/stripper, performer/voyeur, Wired magazine/Ted Kaczynski, ....I want to be a drifter forever hitch hiking and trying new drugs. I want settle down in a cabin with two kids while my husband polishes the guns and I make dinner. I wanna live in the city. I want to live in a Wyoming mountain. The best music goes dirty...sweet...dirty, sweet. The hottest girls are dirty sweet. Tenderness and Violence turn me on but not one without the other..well maybe just tenderness works. I equally appreciate subtlety and intensity, nature and human wasteland, creation and destruction, smooth sailing/impending doom. I feel like I need to be alone all the time and surrounded by people ...all the time. I'm pollyanna-like in my optimism, but also a flaming nihilist. and I don't want any of you to know these things... but I do. What it boils down to is there is not much I want to leave undone... and an event is always more impressive followed by its flipside. Contrast is beautiful.