Deadly Viper Assassin profile picture

Deadly Viper Assassin

I believe that whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you.....stranger.

About Me


"Nobody will ever really know anybody. You'll never really know me. Deal with it."-The Rules of Attraction
i work for a video production company by day, and write for a online gaming magazine by night. consequently, i have very little free time and don't have much of a social life, but i love what i do, so it's okay.
i have also been involved with causing a scene productions for the past 5 years, and it's been a great creative outlet for me.
i have a tendency to be mischievous, and love surprising, confusing, or disturbing unsuspecting victims. i have a sick sense of humor and will unabashedly laugh at all the "wrong" parts of movies. rarely shocked; easily amused.
i am too smart for my own good in some ways, yet a complete nitwit in others. i can be very sadistic, yet i'm probably the nicest person you'll ever meet if i like you. essentially, i'm a human oxymoron: an extroverted introvert, a philanthropic misanthrope, a cultured savage, and a tough pansy.
i detest being pigeonholed into a "scene." despite how i look, i am a square peg in a round hole. just because i wear black doesn't mean you know me. my appearance is deceiving, so if you think you have me figured out, think again.
things that make me smile: being a badass, playful troublemaking, little surprise presents (giving and receiving), mad geniuses, live theater/concerts, being on stage, loyal friends, working out, making bad puns, supporting my friends' creative endeavors, people that appreciate my silliness, people that listen and don't wait to speak, being appreciated for my talents, intellectual/bizarre conversations, fun hair, boys with good fashion sense, quoting mortal kombat in everyday conversation, learning interesting facts/new skills
things that don't: mornings, being cold/wintertime in general, children, dogs, sitting still, the general public, answering phones, excessive talkers, the outdoors, numbers, anything car-related, clutter/slobs, hippies, having to wait (for anything), not understanding something, ignorance, having to wear corrective lenses, fundamentalism, weak/dependent people, fake people, potheads, snobs that take themselves too seriously, romantic comedies, american remakes of japanese horror films

My Interests

.."Art is not a mirror with which to reflect reality, but a hammer with which to shape it." -Bertolt Brecht
laughing, making others laugh, video games, comic books, drawing, antiheroes, being random, aesthetic terrorism, cabaret, dancing, acting, performing, singing, theatre, cult flicks, kickboxing, surrealism, gas masks,

learning, action figures, questioning assumptions, villains, iconoclasm, misanthropy, sci-fi, deconstruction, sarcasm, film festivals, martial arts, animation, digital photography, stompy boots, working out, subjective reality, expressionism, army surplus,

travelling, robots, twisted humor, psychology, steampunk, animal print, creative writing, filmmaking, cryptozoology, zombies, toys, nonsense, pirates, world domination

I'd like to meet:

creative, intelligent, genuine, ambitious, and like-minded individuals. if you want to add me and i don't know you, give me a reason why i should. i rarely respond to messages in the first place, and i never respond to them when they're just "hi" or a pick-up line.
who i would NOT like to meet: skeezeballs. people who "want to be my slave." i probably won't want to date you either. ultimately, if you have nothing in common with me and send a friend's request, you confuse me and will be ignored.

Music:

nine inch nails, 8 bit weapon, ministry, m.i.a., hadouken!, dr. steel, the faint, the misfits, sepultura, justice, dead kennedys, peaches, the kills, foetus, bonde do role, kmfdm, the presets, system of a down,

the dwarves, skinny puppy, the horrorist, hot chip, the dresden dolls, scars on broadway, sabrepulse, goldfrapp, hanzel und gretyl, lady sovereign, boys noize, the cool kids, pop will eat itself, gogol bordello, tool, the sex pistols, nitzer ebb, marilyn manson, polysics, eminem, le tigre, atari teenage riot, mindless self indulgence,

iamx, kidney thieves, 16 volt, snake river conspiracy, digitalism, a.r.e. weapons, dir en grey, dizzee rascal, aphex twin, ohgr, dada yakuza, santogold, mad capsule markets, busta rhymes, tom waits, white zombie, mochipet, chicks on speed, revco...basically industrial, punk, grime, electroclash, breakcore, digital hardcore, and a bunch of other stuff i don't feel like listing. if it sounds like a nintendo game, an android revolt, or the mind of a schizophrenic person, i'll probably like it. typically, the more aggressive it is, the happier i am, but there are vast exceptions...like show tunes, for example. ahem.

Movies:

"All you need for a movie is a gun and a girl."-Jean-Luc Godard
i am a self-professed cinephile, especially when it comes to cult flicks. i am on a perpetual hunt for the most bizarre films humanly possible and i usually do a good job at finding them. if it's a horror film, i'll watch it, no matter how bad it is. i love the good ones, and love laughing at the bad ones. some of my favorite filmmakers include john waters, terry gilliam, david cronenberg, stanley kubrick,

tim burton, quentin tarantino, takashi miike, and david lynch. some of my favorites include a clockwork orange, the dark knight, brazil, ed wood, the devil's rejects, blade runner, sin city, sweeney todd, v for vendetta, full metal jacket, equilibrium, battle royale, fight club, texas chainsaw massacre, dr. strangelove, predator, 28 days later, three...extremes, party monster, pee wee's big adventure, star wars, delicatessen, silent hill, batman returns, american psycho,

the shining, taxi driver, hedwig and the angry inch, moulin rouge, city of lost children, visitor q, cannibal! the musical, twelve monkeys, rocky horror picture show, fear and loathing in las vegas, titus, silence of the lambs, falling down, donnie darko, meet the feebles, natural born killers, cecil b. demented, edward scissorhands, the fifth element, grindhouse, alien, beetlejuice, minority report, dark city, and many others. but i'll stop there. i'm a recovering, over-educated film student, and i could talk for ages about this subject....but i won't, for your sake and mine.

Television:

tv eats your brain. i hate it for the most part. i make exceptions for educational shows because i love expanding my database, and psychotic animated shows because they display the most creativity. think adult swim. i'd say my favorite shows are invader zim,

family guy, space ghost, south park, aqua teen hunger force, sealab 2021, robot chicken, the simpsons, kids in the hall, wonder showzen,

dexter, da ali g show, monty python's flying circus, whitest kids u know, the office, sifl and olly, america's best dance crew, and mst3k. spooky shows like ghost hunters make me happy too, as do (and i say this with much shame) horrible reality t.v. shows. they're like train wrecks: i can't help but watch.

Books:

“Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.”-Chuck Palahniuk
i honestly don't read as much as i should, but some of my favorite authors include chuck palahniuk, bret easton ellis, h.p. lovecraft, clive barker, douglas adams, william gibson, philip k. dick, noam chomsky,

carlton mellick III, aldous huxley, oscar wilde, ray bradbury, irvine welsh, anthony burgess, kurt vonnegut, hunter s. thompson, j.g. ballard, edward albee, tennesse williams, bertolt brecht, adam parfrey, and russ kick.

i am also a huge comic book dork, most specifically the works of jhonen vasquez, roman dirge, jamie smart, warren ellis, frank miller, and alan moore.

My Blog

Its been a while.

Well, after the persuasion of elventy-billion people to update this damn thing, here I am. My absence from this blog has not been from a lack of things to say, but rather too much.  Since my rabi...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Thu, 16 Oct 2008 09:19:00 PST

10 random facts about me

At the request of my beautiful soon-to-be roommate, I am posting 10 completely random facts about myself.  I think I've posted some of these on lj a while back and some of you might already know ...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Sun, 17 Feb 2008 11:03:00 PST

ebb and flow

I had a dream the other night.Back story: a few out-of-state friends and I have a mutual friend that works at a coffee shop (okay, he's actually more of an "acquaintance" of mine...wouldn't really ca...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 01:43:00 PST

there will be time, there will be time.

"And indeed there will be timeFor the yellow smoke that slides along the street,Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;There will be time, there will be timeTo prepare a face to meet the faces that yo...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 01:43:00 PST

Confessions of a Paradoxical Recluse

(alternate title: Neurotics Anonymous)Hello, my name is Andrea, and I am incredibly avoidant. This partly comes from the fact that I am easily irritated. I have a million online "friends" and know eve...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:30:00 PST

changes...

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." --Anatole FranceThis is the cal...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Mon, 24 Sep 2007 01:55:00 PST

An Assault on Early-Morning Ears

Okay, I'm probably going to sound like an asshole here, but I really don't care.Does it bug the shit out of anybody else when someone working at a cafe/fast food place/etc. is absurdly cheery? And I m...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 12:58:00 PST

dream analysis anyone?

I have a recurring dream.For as long as I can remember, I have dreamt that I, for some strange, unspecified reason, HAVE to immediately perform a show that I did years ago, but I don't remember all of...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 01:39:00 PST

New York: I came, I saw, I conquered.

Well ladies and gents, I have returned from NY safe and sound, and WOOOWEEEE did I have a blast! A vacation was long-overdue. I can only take so much of Michigan before I go nutty, and I think it's be...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Wed, 30 May 2007 01:55:00 PST

the good, the bad, and the ugly

Since insomnia won't relinquish its nasty little hold on me, I figured I'd take a moment to keep you abrisk on my recent shennanigans.  In honor of the good ol' cowboy movies of yo...
Posted by Deadly Viper Assassin on Tue, 15 May 2007 11:00:00 PST