scribbling manifestos/memoirs/broken shards of poetic dysfuction, perusing the manifestos/memoirs/broken shards of poetic dysfuction of those who have a unique literary voice and great whales to tail, obsessively collecting records, cd's and books to the point of heaping piles allover the house, finding obscure music/film/books and having the actual product in my hands instead of a copy, photographic massacres and maniacal, messy shoots, making my own clothes with crooked patches/random embroidery/third arms and misplaced zippers, the extraordinary artwork of Elizabeth McGrath, Camille Rose Garcia, Ray Caesar, Michael Hussar, Mark Ryden, Odd Nerdrum, Daniel Martin Diaz (just to name a few...) .. width="425" height="350" .. avant garde-defying, inspirational designers (my favorite at the moment is Umit Unal. fkng brizzilliance!), de- and re-constructionism without going too far, occasionally going beyond and then some more, adjective/adverb compare and contrast poetic hell from staying up for WAY too long, multimedia art mishaps that i have dragged with me from apartment to apartment across the country, starting extravagant projects and never finishing them (i'm working on that one), seeing my half-completed installation pieces and getting grand ideas on how to finish them, keeping up with friends and acquaintances instead of wondering whatever happened to..., animals of all species, especially pugs and other small portly smooshfaced snorting dogs, benzodiazepines but not the reason why i need them, nostalgia and wonderful memories/hilarities/tragedies within the sadness of what has passed and can never be again, antique surgical instruments used as decor, late-night/early a.m.s dumpsterdiving and backalley sleuthing to find those amazing treasures, abandoned spookhaunts that silently beckon, the terrifyingly demanding come-hither roar of some eldritch old dwellings, finding strange photos/books/whathaveyou's inside those abandoned scary places, witches and their ilk, the hisscracklepop of a needle on vinyl, venezia and gaultier perfumage, othiym haiyo lunarsa and other mysterious chantings and goings on from secret sects and underground societies of differing intentions, peeps with wit quick as a trachea sliceup, peeps who know when to use it and when to shut the fuck up, antipenetrationism, my photo albums with all of my crazy-ass friends doing completely insane things that we all think are perfectly normal, creating mix cd's for myself or anyone else who will listen, wearing and saying all the wrong things at all the wrong times, all the right things at all the wrong times, or all the wrong things at all the right times (for some reason, i never seem to get two rights at the same time), getting cut by the dangerous edge of a perfectly chiseled hipbone, androgynous creatures, necromancers, third sexers, finding love letters and other lost writings on the side of the road or the middle of a field, dwellings full of tiny treasures, odd-smelling jars containing creatures from different species, being speechless upon a first encounter, talking endlessly after the initial awkwardness, the hallowed sound of a cello's strings, the lone saxophone playing distantly in the late night in New Orleans, discovering new cities and pretending they are my playground, the dizzying rush of tremolo, the impossible sexiness of My Bloody Valentine's underwater distortion and Belinda Butcher's sultry kneebuckling warble, pug farming, "self martyrdommayhem from the slojokro soundbytes"
antipenetrationists (unless i change my mind), enlightened pagans, fallen angels who need wing repair, pete burns, caitlin r. kiernan, Elizabeth McGrath's crackly creatures, yahwheh, the bride of frankenstein, jonathan rhys-meyers in handcuffs, shuffling poses and sparkleboots (my created warriors), people who don't need to suck the life forces out of other people to survive (which includes peeps who can entertain themselves at home alone over an extended period of time without needing someone else around them and/or coming over to my place with no warning expecting me to always be in the 'on' switch to perform for them, damn succubi), those who have experienced the experiences of the damned, as described by charles hoy fort, all of my friends that i haven't seen in a long time, or that have passed through this astral plane and are now on the other side waiting for the rest of us, at a big party with perfect music and fancy coctails that never ever ever ends.
my bloody valentine* slowdive* chromatics* glass candy* mirage* farah* pale saints* cocteau twins* the knife* spoonfed hybrid* talkdemonic* scarling* klima* pass into silence* julia kent* tv on the radio* star* elkland* idiotpilot* lush* silvania* khonnor* ellen allien* freescha* manual* icebreaker international* limp* boards of canada* ulrich schnauss* casino vs. japan* aeroc* arcade fire* trespassers william* the books* broadcast* the concretes* the radio dept.* styrofoam* scala* piano magic* pia fraus* annie* st. etienne* liars* crossover* coldplay* cut copy* johann johannsen* the presets* chapterhouse* sigur ros* sneakster* interpol* bowery electric* apoptygma berzerk* vicious pink* cristina* tiga* adult.* q. lazzarus* cranes* the faint* nico* cocorosie* antony and the johnsons* thighpaulsandra* broken social scene* vnv nation* section 25* blonde redhead* tracy and the plastics* lovesliescrushing* astrobrite* the ecstasy of saint theresa* autopsia* death in june* xiu xiu* dresden dolls* ladytron* lali puna* fuzzbox* soft pink truth* colder* (old)clan of xymox* joy division* dead can dance* siouxsie/creatures* robin guthrie's solo work* faith and pornography-era Cure* the glove* the smiths/morrissey* girls on film* third eye foundation* legendary pink dots/edward ka-spel* tear garden* lilys 'in the presence of nothing' album (and nothing else by them AT ALL)* moose* curve* felix da housecat* switchblade symphony* sisters of mercy* miranda sex garden* love is colder than death* his name is alive* ohgr* ride* wire* insides* swallow (and busy going crazy)* console* erlend oye* die form* dmx krew* pastels* dykehouse* barbara morgenstern* metro area* languis* fer chloca* aarktica* goldfrapp* M83* fennesz* schneider tm* ms. john soda* guitar* opiate* tarwater* antarctica* ova looven* aphex twin* autechre* lb (and lassigue bendthaus and senior coconut)* W.I.T.* fischerspooner* coil* current 93* strength through joy* nature and organisation* dj hell* FPU* mount sims* black moth super rainbow* dead or alive* postal service* figurine* peaches* perspects* apparat* boom bip*su perpitcher* fad gadget* virgin prunes* princess tinymeat* g.d.luxxe* solvent* kill memory crash* skanfrom* lowfish* S* carissa's wierd* band of horses* junior boys* isan* haujobb* mum* nena* malaria!* danielle dax* secret shine* mahogany* hope sandoval & the warm inventions* monster movie* the new luck toy* charming snakes* weirdlords* the intelligence* the a-frames* dinky* colourbox* old jesus & mary chain* alessandro moreschi, the last castrato* most things on the 4AD, international deejay gigolo, shitkatapult, bpitchcontrol, kompakt and morr music labels, and on and on 'til golden dawn...
the fountain. pan's labyrinth. children of men. fur. brothers of the head. the descent. gemini. heavenly creatures. v for vendetta. picnic at hanging rock. the wicker man. broken saints. kwaidan. calvaire. silent hill. stay. borat. the prestige. underworld and underworld:evolution. best in show, waiting for guffman, and a mighty wind. the kingdom. marebito. Ab-normal beauty. tetsuo: iron man and tetsuo II: body hammer. mirrormask. high tension (haute tension). the hizzles have izzeyes(the new one). 3extremes and the full length accompanying dvd of Dumplings. it's ssssick!. tarnation. sin city. wolf creek. hostel. eyes of fire (thanx niki sugar for reminding me of this lost classic!). lars von trier's 'medea' and 'breaking the waves'. resident evil. running scared. napoleon dynamite (but goddamnit i dont ever wanna hear another line from that film or see another embarassing tshirt or button or keychain or bumpersticker ever ever again! tots tots llama llama liger tots tots!) buffalo 66. twin peaks: fire walk with me (chugalug donna). battle royale I and II. beyond the valley of the dolls. ciao, manhattan. donnie darko. cronos, hellboy, the devil's backbone et al by guillermo del toro (eagerly awaiting Pan's Labyrinth, waiting waiting with baited breath). regarde la mer et al by francois ozon. audition, ju-on: the grudge, ju-on 2, uzumaki (spiral), ringu, hiroku the goblin, kairo (pulse), a snake of june, neighbor no. 13, a tale of two sisters, acacia, koma, wishing stairs, memento mori, oldboy, sympathy for mister vengeance, lady vengeance, gozu, and other freaked out japanese/asian J-horror films. party monster. 28 days later. cabin fever. singapore sling. amelie. lair of the white worm. the devils. salome's last dance. dead waters (aka dark waters, but not the Japanese film OR the remake of the Japanese film. Was hard to find, but has recently been rereleased in all of its spooky nun-ified and claustrophobic monasteried glory). Funny Games. the ring 1 and 2. various psychotic & surreal cult films of the 70's, such as death bed: the bed that eats (bcz aubrey beardsley is held captive in his own drawing by a demonic bed....homosaywhat?); lemora: a child's tale of the supernatural; valerie and her week of wonders, etc etc....secretary. the sweet hereafter. velvet goldmine. grey gardens. the legend of leigh bowery. the company of wolves. vampire hunter D. milo and otis. nadja. suspiria. the last great wilderness. gia. in my skin. edward scissorhands. the hunger. hero. house of flying daggers. hellraiser. jack be nimble. the young poisoner's handbook. begotten(ugh!). clean, shaven. the brothers quay films & videos. Jan Svankmajer's warped visions (alice, little otik, faust, conspirators of pleasure, his collected short films, etc.). gregg araki's films of suburban teenage sleaze. all margaret cho live videos. liquid sky. requiem for a dream. IRREVERSIBLE. logan's run. signs. the village. the reflecting skin. L.I.E. ginger snaps 1-3. twin falls idaho. tourist trap. saw and saw II. neil gaiman's 'a short film about john bolton'. demonlover. dark city. x-men 1-3. both kill bill's. texas chainsaw massacre old AND new. city of lost children. delicatessen. a very long engagement. heathers. pretty in pink, breakfast club, and various entries from the heyday of 80's new wave teen flix.
.. width="425" height="350" .. HEROES. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. LoSt. strangers with candy. the league of gentlemen (NOT the movie, the insane british TV show).
*Codex Seraphinianus*-Luigi Serafini/ *PostSecret* and *MySecret*-compiled by Frank Warren/ *struwwelpter: fearful stories and vile pictures to instruct good little folks*-Heinrich Hoffman, etc/ *The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide To Eccentric and Discredited Diseases*-edited by jeff vandermeer and mark roberts/ *Finishing Touches*-Thomas Tessier/ *Triads*-poppy z. brite and christa faust/ *the art of the tease/the art of fetish* by dita von teese/ *the shadow of the wind*-carlos ruiz zafon/ anything by caitlin r. kiernan, anne sexton, edward gorey, michelle tea, clint catalyst, jt leroy's name used to be here, but for obvious reasons it is not anymore, even though it is. huh? well, we all knew it was too good to be true... poppy z. brite, h.p. lovecraft, chuck palahniuk, bret easton ellis, neil gaiman, dennis cooper,tim lebbon, sylvia plath, william gibson, jonathan carroll, patrick mcgrath, danielle willis (where are you?), china mieville, christa faust.../ *running with scissors*-augusten burroughs/ *the last pentacle of the sun: writings in support of the west memphis 3*-edited by brett alexander savory and m.w. anderson/ *the king in yellow*-robert w. chambers/ *house of leaves*-mark z. danielewski/ *a choir of ill children*-tom piccirilli/ *lithium for medea*-kate braverman/ *the nightmare factory*-thomas ligotti/ *the convulsion factory*-brian hodge/ *The Woodwitch*-stephen gregory/ *a density of souls* and *the snow garden*-christopher rice/ *zombie*, *beasts*, and *haunted*-joyce carol oates/ *confederacy of dunces* -john kennedy toole/ *griffin and sabine: an extraordinary correspondence*-nick bantock/ my japanese to english translation book (i'm trying REALLY hard)/ *wicked*-gregory maguire/ *veniss underground* and *city of saints and madmen*-jeff vandermeer/ *clara: the story of the pug who ruled my life*-margo kaufman/ *the wasteland*-ts eliot/ *geek love*-katherine dunn/ *and the ass saw the angel*-nick cave/ *the witching hour*-anne rice (shut up, it's beautiful!)/ *we have always lived in the castle*-shirley jackson/ *middlesex*-jeffrey eugenides/ *lives of the monster dogs*-kirsten bakis/ *fruits*-photography by shoichi aoki/ *Plucker*-Bram/ *the end is near!: visions of apocalypse, millenium and utopia*-apocalyptic art, illustrations, exhibitions, and miscellaneous edited by roger manley/ all of those fancy 'years best horror,fantasy, and sf' short story collections edited by ellen datlow and terry windling, among others/ oh lordy the list is endless, as is the double mansized pile beside my bed of my "to read" list, which keeps growing. i will die before i read the must reads and gain the knowledge i seek.
saint dymphna, the patron saint of nervous illness.