Countess profile picture

Countess

I am here for Networking

About Me

Oh sure, she looks sweet enough. Like someone who sighs when she sees puppies and daffodils. Bent on world domination. Tools: 1) performance art, especially that which requires major surgery, 2) well practiced sneers 3) monkeys trained in the fatal arts 3) hair that can spring to life at any moment revealing itself as a nest of angry snakes and 4) look deeply into my background image, go ahead, do it.

This profile was edited with Autumn's A Freakin Genius, With World Domination in Mind

My Interests

Writing manifestos.

I'd like to meet:

Someone who knows how to import gross quantities of macaques or maybe even red howlers. Really, any kind of monkey that can be trained to spit poisoned darts through a hollow tube or, alternatively, can be groomed for duti es as a press secretary, would be fine. I need a good press secretary.

Music:

I like battle hymns mostly.

Movies:

(Sigh) Working to become a global despot doesn't leave much time for film viewing. But, I do like to watch "Logan's Run" over and over again so I can figure how to out-wit meddlers who would ruin my utopia.

Television:

Oprah, of course, because she is nearer than I to absolute world rule and key part of my plan to become your Queen. First, I will write a book...

Books:

"How To Win Friends and Influence People". I don't really care about the friends part. "1984" is good too, very instructional.

Heroes:

When the formation of my perfect society is complete, the first law of the land will be, "There shall be no other heroes other than I, the head of state". You will either be with me or against me on this, and if you are against me you will be duly punished by public humliation, some torture and eventually exile.

My Blog

You need to listen to the song I have posted on my page.

See blog title.
Posted by Countess on Fri, 16 Feb 2007 10:41:00 PST

Argue with me about Welfare policy

I'm going to be discussing welfare on Tuesday, and I find that I have been hanging out with Anthropologists, and other liberal wackos, for so long that I am having trouble remembering the conservative...
Posted by Countess on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 10:16:00 PST

Choose your own Sophie

  Choose your own Sophie There are stones in Sophie's garden; there are breathers in Sophie's building. Or if you prefer, There are statues in Sophie's Garden; there are people in Sophie's build...
Posted by Countess on Sat, 03 Feb 2007 10:12:00 PST

Happy Holiday

Oh my god, it's groundhog day and I nearly forgot. I didn't cut out any fuzzy little groundhog shapes to hang as garland around the house; I didn't bake a batch of rodent shaped gingerbread cookies. I...
Posted by Countess on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 11:59:00 PST

A new Pavement for a new century? Ummm, hmmmm.

While it is always a super fun and acrimonious treat to pose the question, "A new______ for new century?",  (somehow that Grease business always ends up on my Sunday night television screen ...
Posted by Countess on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 06:39:00 PST

It's a good listen

Sacha Baron Cohen, as himself, on Terri Gross. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6723074  ...
Posted by Countess on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 03:35:00 PST

KeroWack (Like your premarital sex?)

Go on, read it. And sign it. And don't give me any of that "It doesn't make a difference" indifference. That's just an excuse to be lazy and comfortable. And that's how we got into this mess, isn't it...
Posted by Countess on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 02:54:00 PST

Only in Texas

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6173535.stm As long as I have puked all over one slice of the American cultural pie today, let me go ahead and purge like its fashion week: Please note th...
Posted by Countess on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 06:48:00 PST

Excerpts from Explanations

A full length version of this apology can be found tucked in Autumn's desk drawer, waiting to never be sent to it's intended recipient     If you never forgive me, The laws of physics will ...
Posted by Countess on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 09:29:00 PST

What kind of crazy? Katherine Harris Crazy

    1. Hahahaha, meet the new member of my permanent lexicon. From urbandictionary.com: Katherine Harris crazy (n.) As insanely optimistic as Congresswoman Katherine Harris. Usual...
Posted by Countess on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 06:42:00 PST