El Producto

My real name is not The Product (an old nickname with a long story), it's Jason, and I just may be the world's happiest man. God makes me happy, my kids make me happy, and a lot of you make me happy, so you won't hear any complaining out of me. Most people think I'm either crazy or no good, but they're only half right. I really don't care what anybody but God and my children think about me, so I pretty much say and do whatever pops in my head.

Although always hyper inside my brain, I'm usually laid back outside and like to keep everybody around me smiling. I've also accomplished most of my life goals already - two great children, okay job, and usually hit cleanup whenever playing ball. I also wanted to fall in love one more time after my divorce, and that happened, too, but it was a while ago. But I'm not ready to die just yet - I still need to raise two Christian children and keep them happy.

My son, who's 9, is one of those kids who can't sit still and is always into something - I couldn't ask for a better one. He's also hits left handed and fields a mean grounder. My daughter, who's 7, is my Angel. She's the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen, and I have trouble saying 'no' to her, but it's getting easier every day. She's quite the artist, wants to be a teacher and photographer, and even plays soccer now... but her best friend has to be on the same team. My two children love each other very much (though it's hard to tell here lately) and seem closer than most siblings. I have them with me almost every weekend.

I like sports. I used to play a lot of baseball and still play softball every summer, usually for my church - First Baptist Cullman. We're a good team and really enjoy ourselves. I'm an Ole Miss man and a pretty major college football fan. My son likes to watch Braves baseball (though I'm a Red Sox and Astros fan), but we often find ourselves subjected to my daughter's new favorite show, Hannah Montana, instead.

I live almost entirely stress-free because life is too short to be negative. Strange things happen to me and those around me. Sometimes things get reckless or scary but more often very fun. I feel free talking to almost everybody, so being a guy, I end up talking to a lot of women in stores, gas stations, street corners, restaurants, county jails, court, and other places. I've dated a good many of them these past four years and learned that I don't understand women at all... or maybe I'm just "too real" for them! Ha ha.

Anyway, I have some very, very good but ruthless friends and a handful of strong, ruthless enemies. I figure one of them will attempt to assassinate me... again. Let's hope somebody is around for me to use as a shield... again. Sorry about the rabies, Chad.

Last but not least: If I ever say, "Do you want to see something cool?", you should say, "No, thank you," and pray that I listen!