OPI - College Footballs Most Twisted Writer profile picture

OPI - College Footballs Most Twisted Writer

I am here for Networking

About Me

Hi, my name is OPI. Ever since I escaped from prison, I've been obssessed with college football. I began this as a friendly poll among friends but quickly realized that my friends were dumbasses, so I constructed the poll myself. I then began to add a short paragraph for an explanation, then added some humor and satire, and it has grown from there. In fact, Richard Scrushy sold me to the Russian Mafia, so I now write my article for the American proletariat, comrades!
While my alliegence lies with Ole Miss, most of my readers are Alabama, Auburn, Mississippi State, and Tennessee fans, so the newsletters are pretty much SEC based (posted as blogs or send me your e-mail address). I may also get a fan poll rolling, so send me your own Top 25 every week, and we'll compare it with mine.
THE OPI IS:
Supreme Chairman OPI, I have taken my organization back from the clutches of the Russian Mafia and Craig Waugh (what is he good for?).
Operations Manager JIMMY JOHNS. We were very impressed by his buisness savvy.
THE PRODUCT, Correpsondent for the Ole Miss beat who has no chest hair. He may or may not be carrying a variety of STD's at any given time.
THE CULLMAN CATFISH, Correspondent for the Bama beat with perfect hair - currently studying medicine as full time hernia & prostate checker. The personal physician of New England Patriot Wesley Britt.
RICHARD SCRUSHY, Chief Financial Officer who sold us to the Russians... and then the Holly Pond Town Council... and then the Russians again... and then the North Koreans
BUTCH, OPI Security Chief & Head of Settling Scores
JUNIOR BARKLEY, OPI's Tennessee Legal Consultant
GERALDO RIVERA, the only journalist brave enough to cover State and LSU games
BILLY BREWER, Associate Correspondent for The Product & former Ole Miss Head Coach
GUCCI, OPI Attorney and Fashion Coordinator who's always kissing Scrushy's ass. He seems obsessed with Cullman Cyclone youth football these days.
HEY NINI, Official OPI Inuit (Eskimo). She will be traveling with The Product as his bodyguard until we secure Ash's services again.
STEWART, OPI Dominatrix and Head of Discipline. Co-S&M Cooridnator. Shaved The Product's chest. Associate Correspondent to The Catfish.
GRACIE THE CAT, Official OPI Pet.
HOLLY POND, AL TOWN COUNCIL, Political Muscle
ASH, Former Security Officer for The Product & Ultimate Fighter. Says he is not capable of protecting fans and The Product from his own wild children.
ED ORGERON, OPI Cajun-English Interpretor. Beat out the Cookie Monster for the job!
THE PROJECT, Police Protection
ARKANSAS SHANE, OPI Logistics and Hog Greaser
STEVE RYEWALKER, OPI Chemist and Oddsmaker
DOUBLE C, OPI Covert Ops
DAN JACKSON, OPI Photographer and Co-S&M Coordinator
DR. ERIC PETERS, OPI Canada
CUEVOBACCA, OPI Thailand
DICK MAHONEY, OPI Safety Director and Pimp
Now for the poll, which is put together prior to publication of either the AP or Coaches' Poll
OPI TOP 25 - Post Season 2008 PVS AP COACH BCS
1. Florida (13-1) 1 1 1
2. Texas (12-1) 3 4 3
3. Southern Cal (12-1) 7 3 2
4. Utah (13-0) 8 2 4
5. Oklahoma (12-2) 2 5 5
6. Alabama (12-2) 4 6 6
7. Penn State (11-2) 6 8 8
8. TCU (11-2) 11 7 7
9. Boise State (12-1) 9 11 13
10. Ohio State (10-3) 10 9 11
11. Oregon (10-3) 14 9 10
12. Texas Tech (11-2) 5 12 12
13. Georgia (10-3) 16 13 10
14. Ole Miss (9-4) 19 14 15
15. Oregon State (9-4) 22 18 19
16. Virginia Tech (10-4) 21 15 14
17. Oklahoma State (9-4) 12 16 18
18. Missouri (10-4) 20 19 16
19. Cincinnati (11-3) 13 17 17
20. Michigan State (9-4) 17 24 24
21. Iowa (9-4) NR 20 20
22. Florida State (9-4) NR 21 23
23. California (9-4) NR (26) 25
24. Nebraska (9-4) NR (29) (30)
25. Pittsburgh (9-4) 23 (27) (31)
Dropped Out: Georgia Tech, Brigham Young, Boston College, Northwestern

On the Bubble: West Virginia, Northwestern, LSU, Georgia Tech, Boston College, Arizona, Tulsa, Rice, & BYU
PREDICTIONS
(Final Reg Season SEC Record is 76-21 with 37-12 in head-to-head games)


BCS CHAMPIONSHIP:
Florida 52 Oklahoma 31 W
SUGAR BOWL:
Alabama 35 Utah 14 L
FIESTA BOWL:
Texas 34 Ohio State 21 W
ROSE BOWL:
Southern Cal 24 Penn State 19 W
ORANGE BOWL:
Cincinnati 26 Virginia Tech 23 L

SOME OTHER BOWLS:
COTTON: Texas Tech over Ole Miss L
CAPITAL ONE: Michigan St over Georgia L
OUTBACK: Iowa over South Carolina W
PEACH: Georgia Tech over LSU L
MUSIC CITY: Boston Coll over Vanderbilt L
LIBERTY: East Carolina over Kentucky L
GATOR: Clemson over Nebraska L
HOLIDAY: Oklahoma St over Oregon L
SUN: Oregon State over Pittsburgh W
ALAMO: Missouri over Northwestern W
MEINEKE: West Virginia over No Carolina W
POINSETTIA: TCU over Boise State W
LAS VEGAS: BYU over Arizona L


SEC STANDINGS


SEC EAST CONF OVERALL
1. Florida 7-1 12-1
2. Georgia 6-2 10-3
3. Vanderbilt 4-4 7-6
4. So Carolina 4-4 7-6
5. Tennessee 3-5 5-7
6. Kentucky 2-6 6-6

SEC WEST CONF OVERALL
1. Alabama 8-0 12-2
2. Ole Miss 5-3 9-4
3. LSU 3-5 8-5
4. Arkansas 2-6 5-7
5. Auburn 2-6 5-7
6. Miss State 2-6 4-8
OPI SEC POWER RATINGS
1. FLORIDA
2. ALABAMA
3. OLE MISS
4. GEORGIA
5. SOUTH CAROLINA
6. LSU
7. TENNESSEE
8. ARKANSAS
9. VANDERBILT
10. KENTUCKY
11. MISS STATE
12. AUBURN

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Anybody who's nuts about college football, anyone who hates soccer, the guy(s) who knocked up The Product's sister, Mike Shula's wife, and Brent Musberger so I can punch him right in the nose.

My Blog

The OPI College Football Report - Post Season 2008

Am I the only man in America who now feels inadequate after watching Tim Tebow last night?  I mean, how can the average American live up to this standard of excellence?The OPI 2008 Post Season Top 25:...
Posted by on Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:10:00 GMT

The OPI College Football Report - Pre Championship 2008

I just couldn't wait for the game tomorrow night!  I still stand by my 52-31 prediciton for Florida but want to cover the other games while they're still important to the football world.  I ...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Jan 2009 03:23:00 GMT

The OPI College Football Report - December 7, 2008

With all the bowls and championships this weekend, this first article deals more with the football aspects while the usual hijinks of the OPI group at the SEC Championship will be covered in next week...
Posted by on Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:21:00 GMT

The OPI College Football Report - November 30, 2008

Last season at the start of the NFL playoffs, The Product proclaimed that if the Giants won the Super Bowl, he'd name his next son "Plaxico" in honor of his hero Plaxico Burress.  Well, The Produ...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Dec 2008 02:24:00 GMT

The OPI College Football Report - November 23, 2008

The SEC's dominant teams now occupy the top two spots in America's favorite poll:                     &nbs.. .
Posted by on Mon, 24 Nov 2008 07:41:00 GMT

The OPI College Football Report - November 16, 2008

While it was ironic that Steve Spurrier took the first 50-point loss of his career to the monster he helped create, there weren't many changes in the poll this week:      &nbs...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Nov 2008 04:39:00 GMT

The OPI College Football Report - November 9, 2008

Coaching from the booth in a suit borrowed from Nick Saban and a brain borrowed from Lou Holtz, Joe Paterno's team finally blew a game and opened up the national title race to six more deserving schoo...
Posted by on Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:16:00 GMT

The OPI College Football Report - November 2, 2008

Florida and Texas Tech moved up big in this week's poll:                           ...
Posted by on Mon, 03 Nov 2008 16:20:00 GMT

The OPI College Football Report - October 26, 2008

This week, the football was so boring that the highlight of this week's article was the Orgeron Family Reunion and the observation that Mark Richt married his twin sister. The poll:   &...
Posted by on Mon, 27 Oct 2008 03:27:00 GMT

The OPI College Football Report - October 19, 2008

I finish this article in a foul mood after watching the Red Sox dynasty blow a game 7 to the Tampa Bay Rays.  I hope they win the World Series so they can get a real stadium before trading off al...
Posted by on Mon, 20 Oct 2008 06:34:00 GMT