Jesse profile picture

Jesse

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

I'm not a mystery. Ask and I'll most likely answer.

I'm fairly easy to understand when you realize:

1. I'm more interested in amusing myself than you.
2. I tend towards rationality.
3. Honesty is more important to me than power.

Russian student, bookworm, sleep-addict. Bouncer and delivery-man. Recovering panda.

My Interests

When I was little, my mother told me that a smart person could never get bored because he'd always be able to contrive a way to amuse himself. I've always liked that idea. Saying "I'm bored." is the same as admitting "I'm stupid." Keep that in mind. Share it. Accuse your friends of being idiots. Come off sounding much smarter than you really are. You're welcome.

Dig the odd comics. Mitch Hedberg, Emo Phillips, Steven Wright, Jimmy Carr, et cetera.

I'd like to meet:

Someone who knows I'm an asshole and accepts it. Who possibly admires me for it. Prefer non-smokers, but I'll take what company I can get. People who shrink from the sun and call it "the brightness". People who can put together a paragraph without capitalizing every other letter, using letters and numbers to replace whole words, or punctuating any half-assed joke with "lol". People I can leave to their own devices without having to bond them out of jail a week later. People who read for fun. I don't think these guidelines are really that stringent. Rather open.

Music:

I've heard some.As for specific music? If you want the information, you've got to work for it. Ask.

Movies:

I've seen a few.

Television:

Television steals time you won't get back.

Books:

Courtenay, Elliot, Ellison, Heller, Lloyd, Vonnegut, Card, Palahniuk, Adams, et cetera. I'll give you last names. First names are your own problem.

Heroes:

Hero isn't a career choice. It's something you can be for a few seconds at a time. Rarely when you expect to be and more often in passing.

My Blog

Messiah

I'm not religious, but I think I've picked which thought would actually send me to Hell. The thought? That were I alive and geographically close when Jesus was crucified, I'd save him. "Hold on, buddy...
Posted by Jesse on Sun, 20 Apr 2008 02:01:00 PST

Driving

For some reason, I want nothing more right now than to walk into a fencing club, draw an epee and loudly declare that I've invented a new style of fencing before striking a pose and shouting "Avant Ga...
Posted by Jesse on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 02:30:00 PST

Percentage

Recently checked my checking account balance and found a mystery charge for $75. Checked further into it and was told that it was a "pre-authorization fee" assessed when I last bought some gas at the ...
Posted by Jesse on Tue, 08 Apr 2008 02:12:00 PST

Cold Dead Hands

Today, Charleton Heston died. In keeping with his wishes, would anyone like to grab a crowbar and help me get his gun?Had fairy tales on the mind again. Specifically, the lessons to be learned and beh...
Posted by Jesse on Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:12:00 PST

So worth it.

Little brother got engaged. Don’t remember if I’ve said that already. If they make it to the wedding, being his sole brother confers some power on me as the superlative male. Haven’t...
Posted by Jesse on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 09:09:00 PST

Scale of maturity

When I was younger, I had the same fascination with swords as most adolescents. I outgrew it. Sold off most of the blades I’d acquired. All but one. A cheap flea-market katana with a green ...
Posted by Jesse on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:59:00 PST

Realization

I think I’ve figured it out. All these years that we men have been calling bullshit whenever a woman states "I just want a guy with a sense of humor", we’ve been wrong. Those women were sa...
Posted by Jesse on Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:16:00 PST

Brevity

Build your own joke: The Incredible Hulk and St Patrick’s Day.This month has been the kind of month that gets highlighted in biographies as a turning point. Losing my brother, possibly gaining m...
Posted by Jesse on Tue, 18 Mar 2008 11:59:00 PST

Destiny

I’ve become convinced that my brother joined the Army because he thinks that his mutant powers will manifest if he finds himself in a traumatic environment. I can almost see him sitting in a fox...
Posted by Jesse on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 10:43:00 PST

Single? No, Im plural.

My brother has won the cheap-bastard contest. How? Joined the Army. No bills, no expenses, no decisions. (Strange that the people who are supposedly fighting for our freedom don’t actually enjoy...
Posted by Jesse on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:25:00 PST