WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR profile picture

WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR

The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.

About Me

my hopes for Birmingham! Me and two of my most gnarliest friends (Dama and Lisa) started Birmingham's only non-profit, non-genre, non-crappy radio stations. VIVA FGR!I write short stories and freelance

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My Interests

spiders and old people that smell. writing short stories that nobody likes! going back in time, finding robots and kicking them behind they're knees, and...spraying battery acid on killer clowns from outerspace. listening to radio programs (i.e. a prarie home companion, this american life w/ ira glass, fresh air, the motley fool radio show, all things considered) okay! i'm a dork... being a dirty bird lickin' pirate.the painter, the myth, the girl, my left arm

I'd like to meet:

the creator of Dr Pepper... sebastian block

Music:

oh no! i'm not gonna fall for that. i don't want scene kids snooping around here. no way

Movies:

un chien andalou, annie hall, the land before time, everything by john waters, everything by wes anderson, we must not forget...david lynch! SHAG!, cat on a hot tin roof, Y Tu Mama Tambien, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah PORNOGRAPHY haha!

Television:

six feet under!!!!!!, america's next top model, family guy, scrubs, freaks and geeks, waiting for god, are you being served, keeping up appearances...GOLDEN GIRLS,

Books:

EVERYTHING EVER WRITTEN BY JEROME DAVID SALINGER, portrait of an artist as a young man, the dubliners, finnigin's wake (no, i haven't read it all the way through, sorta like the bible, except i never started on that one), the crying of lot 49, gravity's rainbow, bell jar, even cowgirls get the blues, still life with woodpecker, skinny legs and all, one flew over the cuckoo's nest, dharma bums, visions of cody, tao te ching, all them plays by Tennessee Williams, story of an hour, heart of darkness, blood and guts in highschool, pale fire, lolita, cat's cradle, the sound and the fury, absalom absalom, a rose for emily, M. butterfly, something wicked this way comes, dandelion wine, the color purple, beloved, the sorrows of young werther, winesburg ohio, spoon river anthology, native tongue, electric koolaid acid test, the bonfire of the vanities, lake wobegon boy, WLT: a radio romance, jenny and the jaws of life, where the wild things are, where the sidewalk ends, the giving tree, the little critter series, the B. Bears series, the lust lizard of melancholy cove, naked, me talk pretty one day, till we have faces, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, Welcome to the World Baby Girl, Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man, She's Come Undone, Love in the Time of Cholera, Of love and Other Demons, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse...

Heroes:

i don't understand the topic

My Blog

can't stop writing!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was asked to do another reading this Friday. I turned it down cuz I'm working on something, this idea I've been rolling around for months. anywho, everynight I stay at my place by myself I...
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 02:05:00 PST

pictures from santacon 2006...AKA bar hopping drunk santas

the whole gang! the breakdancing circle jerks ezell and laura! bar somewherez my super mega hot boyfriend! and there are more pictures to come!...
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 09:11:00 PST

my car died

ooh ooh, I'm tired.definitely stressed to the max.my beautiful little Volkswagon convertable has finally passed on to a better life of junk yards and miles and miles of premium fuel.Now, I have to fin...
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Wed, 22 Nov 2006 04:12:00 PST

roll tide roll

J'ai reçu juste le calzones de bifteck de fromage de philly j'ai commandé par-dessus il y a un mois. Je ne peux pas attendre de les manger ! délicieux ! Je suis super méga heureux. Rouler le rouleau d...
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 11:03:00 PST

i just can' t deny it any longer...i love to massage folks

for a very long time now I've wanted to be a massage therapist. I checked out the schools in Birmingham and convinced my self I'd have no future and that the schools weren't worth it b/c they don't te...
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 07:48:00 PST

holy saki macaroni/russ n rachel rule/700 hundred miles o fence

i've never not had fun with those mo fugs! there is nothing better than a night when the plaza don't make me pay for me dranks. i also enjoy sporadicaly eating sushi and drinking two major bottles of ...
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Fri, 03 Nov 2006 10:41:00 PST

yep

    I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i...
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Sat, 28 Oct 2006 09:15:00 PST

it's time to start recording shoes for FRIED GREEN RADIO!

We believe that our launch date is January 1st!!!!!!!!!!!so we're ready to start recording shows! We've got our computer and are ready to rock! Pun intended, byatches.starting in the next few weeks we...
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Wed, 25 Oct 2006 08:17:00 PST

stop staring at my boobs...i'll punch you fo real!

I'm seriously sick of this one dude at work that can't look at my face for the life of him. He's not being slick or anything, he just straight stares at them while I'm talking. He replies to my boobs....
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Wed, 25 Oct 2006 12:45:00 PST

ain't nothing like poverty to getcha into heaven

and at this rate i just might be cannonized. all the same my pockets stay full the same way my belly does...never! can't wait for Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!    ...
Posted by WIZARD OF THE KEYTAR on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 02:55:00 PST