Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus profile picture

Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus

What? No reach-around?

About Me


"You come at the king, you best not miss."
Behold the title sequence to the greatest film ever. And it still hasn't been released on DVD which is really a crime against humanity. If there is one violation of the Geneva Convention that I won't abide it's the denial of people a digitally perfected version of Black Belt Jones. Observe and be humbled. And that title sequence music? Listen closely...it's mostly a capela.
QUESTION OF THE DAY:If a tree falls on my head will I be able to hear the sickening crunch of my skull nanoseconds before my brain gets squeezed like an old testicle? Granted, I'm not so curious I want to find out...this is just the first question that popped into my head. Which I guess speaks volumes about my personality doesn't it?
I guess this means that no, I don't really have a question.
Whats that? You want firsthand conversationalness with the master of the house? Bitch, you f'real? You are opening yourself up for a world of hurt! But don't worry its a good kind of hurt. Like child birth and abortion...
AOhell IM: MrJAnarchy
Yahoo, whoopee or whatever the fuck IM: mrbillybastard
"This here game is more than the rep you carry, the corner you hold. You gotta be fierce, I know that, but more than that, you gotta show some flex, give and take on both sides."
"Yeah, I'm like a marriage counselor. Tell the man he oughta bring the bitch some flowers every once in a while. Tell the bitch she gotta suck some cock every once in a while. That sort of shit."
"No one wins. One side just loses more slowly."

My Interests

I find interesting things very interesting. I also think interesting people are very interesting. There is an interesting possiblity that you could be interesting and I would be very interested in finding out if you are, indeed, interesting. Though you would be interested to know that my finding of things to be interesting is in direct concordance with the interest quotient of said thing of interest. If you have a low interest quotient chances are I would find you lowly interesting. I find the word "interesting" interesting and have been interested in using the word more often. Interested?

"It's a thin line 'tween heaven and here."

I'd like to meet:



Det. Jimmy McNulty

"I feel like I'm a breathing machine for my dick."

William "Bunk" Moreland

"I'm just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick."

Music:

I don't know who the drummer is. I don't care. I don't care where they played last either. I don't care who was there or who she is fucking. I don't care how you wear your hair or where you got your hot new belt...so why the hell would I care what music you listen to? Hell, I don't even care what music I listen to. Unless it's Clutch. Then I'm happy. If you aren't happy with that then you can...talk it over with me. I think we can work it out. No. Don't go!

As always,instead of having a long list of bands that I love (where the length of your list is only slightly less cool than having a long cock) I instead will list bands that I can't stand.

I hate Pearl Jam, Rush, Lenny Krabsitch, "DAVE" (as in Dave Matthews Band), Phish (sorry you dirty fucking hippies), Justin Limbercake, R. Kelly, most current sensory grating poppy rap music, Micheal Jackson (the newer, alien shit not the pre hair on fire stuff), U2 (the newer stuff [thanks Christine!]), Linkin Park, British Hip Hop, Kenny Chesney, Most country, any American Idol flim flammy pantload, most pop music, christian "rock", and your favorite band.

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit."

Movies:



"You call that begging? You can beg better than that."

Television:

Television is the new God. DVR is the new messiah. My messiah has died repeatedly for what I am guessing are my sins...but it still records my favorite shows. Unlike Jesus.My favorite shows are: Gordon Ramsay Insults Idiots(Hell's Kitchen), Jack Bauer: Unstoppable Terrorist Killing Dynamo Who Needs Not Sleep Nor Food(24), Flashback of The Week & Random Weirdness!(Lost), Prove Things Don't Happen by Blowing Shit Up(Mythbusters), Moldy Old Objects Presented by Moldy Old People Who Make Money Off Of Them(Antiques Roadshow), Moldy Old People and Their Moldy Old Priceless Objects: "Smashing!" Edition(Antiques Roadshow UK), Get To Know Baltimore(The Wire), I Study Bugs and Bodies(CSI), Victorian Age Cocksuckers(Deadwood), David Lynch Smokes Many Foul Things(Twin Peaks), Trailer Dicks and the Old Men Who Love Them(The Rockford Files), I'm Old and Rich and a Son of a Bitch and Still Hilarious(Curb Your Enthusiasm), Hardcore Mormography(Big Love), Men Beating the Shit Out of Each Other for Fun and Prizes(The Ultimate Fighter), and many more!
"A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It's the shit that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come."

Books:

Give a person a gun and they can shoot a man, give a book and they can find out where to steal one.My favorite books include, but are not limited to: Shogun by James Clavell, The Stand by Stephen King, The Dark Tower Series by the same Stephen King, Battle Royale by Koushun Takami, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, The Unfettered Mind by Takuan Soho, Book of the Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi, Lone Wolf and Cub and Samurai Executioner by Koike Kazuo and Goseki Kojima, American Gods by Neil Gaiman, The Three Kingdoms Saga, Everything by H.P. Lovecraft, So far everything by Robert E. Howard, The Harry Pooper Series by J.K. Rowling, Various Comics and Manga and lots of other wordy bullshit!I have also been reading the Rain Series by Barry Eisler. If you like exotic Asian locales, Jazz music, whiskey, and the use of hands in murdering people then these books are for you.
"Listen, when you're giving pain to someone, don't think about the pain that person is feeling. Just concentrate on how good it feels to be causing someone pain. That's the best thing you can do for a true masochist!"

Heroes:

The people that actually physically attend the University of Pheonix. Nothing says "Fuck it!" like actually metriculating at a school a brain in a freezer with internet access could be accepted into. These people say "I know I could have my frontal lobe removed and still attend my psych class in the middle of taking a dump over the side of a boat in the Everglades...but I actually want to sit in a damned University of Pheonix classroom and pay tuition anyway!" Way to go against the grain! You are my heroes!

"Do you know what a 'love letter' is!? It's a bullet from a fucking gun fucker! You get a love letter from me...you're fucked forever!"

"Because I'm in a wheelchair...and you're not."

My Blog

Dirty Deeds. Done Dirt Cheap.

Sorry!It's been a long time since I've blogged. The time it has taken for me to blog again has been at least as long as the way to the top is when you want to rock and roll. That is your AC/DC song re...
Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Fri, 27 Jun 2008 07:14:00 PST

The Orpheus Command

Can't come up with the name of your science fiction novel?There is an easy rule! Take a word that is either mythological, Greek,  an exotic sounding location, or some reasonable facsimile and pla...
Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Mon, 12 May 2008 09:49:00 PST

The Law of Exponential Chaos

Hello,I'm am your lecturer in, and purveyor of, Fictional Media Sociology. Tonight's lecture regards my thesis on serials... whether they be in book, television, or movie form. This thesis, or more ap...
Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Wed, 30 Apr 2008 08:08:00 PST

For Your Thighs Only (Updated for her pleasure)

**TOP SECRET**Here is a most likely incomplete list of things your pal Johnny is currently obsessing over. This list obviously does not leave the confines of this safe room as the information containe...
Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:37:00 PST

Paint the White House Black

Hello,My name is Johnny Anarchy and I am whiter than most white people. It’s not a state of mind thing, it just happens to be true. My skin is almost translucent to the point of actually being a...
Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 02:30:00 PST

The Slow Torture of Dentistry

You know how I know there is a Satan?He invented teeth. Little bones that are chuck full of NERVE. When tapped on forcefully, drinking extremely cold things, or just chewing bark these things can give...
Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:46:00 PST

Chuck Thrown

It was established tonight that there is an actor with the coolest/awesomest name that doesn't stay in any porno. Of course most of you know who this is without me saying the name but for those of you...
Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Sat, 23 Feb 2008 12:37:00 PST

Happy Valentine’s Day


Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 03:07:00 PST

"Let me show you how babies are made..."

Today:I found out a kid I graduated high school with has been charged with the statuatory rape of a 13 year old girl, as well as charges of sodomy and possession of child pornography.Christ, did we al...
Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Fri, 01 Feb 2008 09:46:00 PST

Nerd Alert

Huh.Did I actually just get audibly excited that The Sarah Jane Adventures is getting picked up for another season?Yes, yes I did.Don't ask.Love,Johnny Anarchy...
Posted by Johnny Anarchy Salutes Old Glorificus on Sat, 26 Jan 2008 07:27:00 PST